How to solve high gas prices and traffic tickets

Special no-tax gas deal for Democrats in Denver
Special license plates for government workers in California
 

Inebriated Press
July 25, 2008

Rocky Mountain News reported Tuesday that the committee hosting the Democratic National Convention has used the city’s gas pumps to fill up and avoid paying state and federal fuel taxes. The tax avoiding plan may actually be an extension of a program initiated in California that allows government officials and their families to dodge traffic tickets by receiving special license plates. The evidence that Democrats and Socialists really do have it better than hard-working regular folks, is starting to pile up like the federal deficit.

Obama refusing an American flag lapel pin while talking income redistribution.

Obama refusing an American flag lapel pin while talking income redistribution.

“It’s high time that the socialist plans of the Democrat party start paying off for bureaucrats and campaign workers like it should,” said Hefty Bottom-Sunbeam, an Obama campaign worker, who supports income redistribution and free healthcare for people with big asses.  “It’s the god and gun loving idiots who should do all the work and pay us to sit on our butts and dream big and tell them what to do, because we know better.  We love America and want to change it as fast as we can.  It’s the Obama vision that we embrace.  And giving your money to me is the right way to get things going.  Hand me your wallet.”

Not everyone is signing up for the Bottom-Sunbeam plan.  “Tax-free gas for Obama’s supporters in Denver and no-fault license plates for government officials and their families in California is exactly what Obama, Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi want, and on the surface it looks fine, but under the surface the rest of us pay out of our asses,” said Bubbles Boob-Jobb, a free-loving convenience store clerk, who often gets serious when looking below the surface of things and finding shit she’d like to stop.  “All the blue smoke and mirrors that Obama and the Democrats are spitting around is designed to fake us out. They’ve been up front with statements about hiking our taxes and taking our money and giving it to the United Nations and non-working addicts the same way San Francisco does.  They’ve just tried to distract us with chaff.  Well, both the U.N. and San Francisco are corrupt, and giving our hard earned money to a scheme like that is stupid at best and robbery at worst.  It’s disgusting.”

Rocky Mountain News reported that the committee hosting the Democratic National Convention has used the city’s gas pumps to fill up and apparently avoided paying state and federal fuel taxes. The practice, which began four months ago, may have ended hours after its disclosure. An aide to Mayor John Hickenlooper released a statement Tuesday evening saying that Denver 2008 Host Committee members would pay market prices for fuel and would also be liable for all applicable taxes.  However, Public Works spokeswoman Christine Downs told City Council members just hours before that host committee members were fueling up at the city pumps. The city does not pay taxes on the fuel for its fleet, and Downs said the host committee would not either.

City Councilman Charlie Brown raised the question of whether the host committee would be paying fuel taxes, and Downs said it wouldn’t. “There’s something there that just doesn’t seem right to me because, in a sense, you’re saying then that the officials who pass the laws are not willing to live by them,” said Councilwoman Jeanne Faatz. Hickenlooper said the practice isn’t unique to Denver.

“I do know for a fact that they’re doing the same exact thing in Minneapolis,” Hickenlooper said, referring to the city that along with St. Paul is hosting the Republican National Convention. But Teresa McFarland, a spokeswoman for the Minneapolis-St. Paul host committee, said its members are getting their gas at public pumps. “We’re not getting a tax break on fuel,” she said. “That’s not the setup at this end.”

In Colorado, consumers pay 40.4 cents per gallon in state and federal fuel taxes – unless you’re a Democrat campaign worker.

The California Politburo rides free.

The California Politburo rides free.

The Orange County Register reported earlier this year that a Register investigation found a confidential license plate program that shields California officials and their families from paying tolls and getting traffic tickets. The state program hides their home address on Department of Motor Vehicles records so no tickets can ever be delivered to them. The agency that operates the tollway also does not have legal access to their address and can’t bill them when they blow past toll takers.

An Orange County Register investigation has found that the program, designed 30 years ago to protect police from criminals, has been expanded to cover hundreds of thousands of public employees – from police dispatchers to museum guards – who face little threat from the public.

Their spouses and children can get the plates, too. The Register found that the confidential plate program shields these motorists in ways most of us can only dream about:

•Vehicles with protected license plates can run through dozens of intersections controlled by red light cameras and breeze along the 91 toll lanes with impunity.

•Parking citations issued to vehicles with protected plates are often dismissed because the process necessary to pierce the shield is too cumbersome.

•Some patrol officers let drivers with protected plates off with a warning because the plates signal that the drivers are “one of their own” or related to someone who is.

The Register used public records laws to obtain OCTA computer logs for the 91 Express Lanes and found 14,535 unpaid trips by motorists with confidential plates in the past five years. A Register analysis showed that was 3,722 separate vehicles, some running the toll road hundreds of times. That’s only about $29,500 in tolls, but under the penalty schedule set by state law, fines for chronic violators can reach $500 per toll, which would total more than $5 million for the confidential plate holders with multiple violations if they ignored warning notices.

An activist who lobbies for fair traffic laws said the entire program is out of control.  But not everyone sees it that way.

Bill Clinton doing one more thing he can get away with.

Bill Clinton doing one more thing he can get away with.

“A Democrat should be allowed to do anything and get away with it,” said Bill Clinton, a former president who lied to a Grand Jury, screwed interns in the oval office, and then pardoned arms dealers and got away with all of it.  “There are some whiners who think you have to earn the right to do things and that fair play is part of the American dream.  Maybe it used to be but not anymore.  Today you do what you can get away with, and when you make the rules you run the setup and get all the juice.  That’s the way it is and the way it should be.  You think you don’t know what Obama stands for because he changes his mind all the time?  His consistency is inconsistency.  Get used to it.  You’re in for a wild four years kid’s.  I can hardly wait!”

In other news, Fox reported yesterday that despite the constant favorable news coverage Barack Obama is receiving on his foreign trip, his poll numbers haven’t seen a bounce. A just-released FOX News poll shows Obama now holds the slimmest possible edge over John McCain, leading 41 percent to 40 percent in a head-to-head contest. In fact, Obama’s support is down from 45 percent last month. No word on who gets to enjoy tax-free gas or traffic-ticket free driving next, but maybe if Obama shares it with the “god and guns” people they’ll toss a few more votes his way.

(C) 2008 InebriatedPress.com

Comments Off on How to solve high gas prices and traffic tickets

Filed under Humor

Comments are closed.