San Francisco decision may bail out Heidi Fleiss

Hard times for Heidi in Nevada
San Francisco may legalize prostitution

Inebriated Press
July 28, 2008

Reuters reported last week that Heidi Fleiss, known as the “Hollywood Madam,” is suffering tough times in Nevada. Convicted in 1997 in connection with her prostitution ring with charges including pandering and tax evasion, she served 21 months and then headed for the Nevada desert to sell sex legally.  But the desert is a dry place and business is the wrong kind of hard.  But that may be about to change.  Fox News reported last week that San Francisco will vote in November on whether to decriminalize prostitution in the city.  If the measure passes, Fleiss could be back in business with a real population base that she is familiar with.  That’s got to have her California dreamin’. 

Heidi Fleiss, notable humanitarian and businesswoman.

Heidi Fleiss, notable humanitarian and businesswoman.

“It was a tough break for Heidi and the West Coast when the cops took her down for supplying a needed service to famous Hollywood types like Charlie Sheen and others, who needed a quick trick now and then so they could get by and still avoid paparazzi,” said Infamous Stringer, a bureaucratic intellectual who thinks sex should be provided during lunch hour to government employees and funded by the state.  “When Frisco adopts the new law she’ll be able to come in from the desert and put together a good business organization again.  It was a shame that she got into trouble for doing what she does best.  This law will give her the break she needs to get back on her feet, or back, whatever.”

Not everyone thinks Fleiss can make it go in San Francisco, and others think San Francisco shouldn’t okay prostitution.  “Aren’t San Francisco values screwed up enough with taxpayers funding housing for unemployed drug addicts, free needles and condoms for them and harboring illegal aliens to keep down the cost of sex in back allies and fast food out front,” asked Summ Guyy, nursing a grudge and wishing we was someone else.  “I mean, how much more wrong do you want to get?  The city can’t afford the craziness it has now.  Legalize prostitution for what reason?  To give Fleiss a good market to work with?  To put more women on the street?  Come on now, this is nuts.”

Local businesswomen offering illegal wares.

Local businesswomen offering illegal wares.

Fox News reported that a measure aiming to keep prostitutes from facing criminal charges has qualified for the November ballot in San Francisco. The measure would bar authorities from spending money to investigate or prosecute prostitutes for engaging in prostitution. The Erotic Service Providers Union recently announced it had gathered the 12,000 signatures necessary to put the measure on the ballot after failing to get a similar initiative before voters in 2006. Mayor Gavin Newsom says the measure would hurt the city’s ability to investigate and prosecute sex-trafficking crimes.  He didn’t say whether he thinks that’s a good or bad thing.

Reuters reported that Heidi Fleiss has found hard times in Nevada desert. The article said that it’s a long trip from the lush gardens and multimillion-dollar mansions of Beverly Hills to the desert scrub brush and a broken-down home in Pahrump, Nevada, but the former Hollywood Madam has made it. Starting today, documentary filmmakers Fenton Bailey and Randy Barbato (“The Eyes of Tammy Faye”) offer HBO viewers a look into the recent life of the woman who in the mid-1990s became infamous for her arrest and trial on charges stemming from running a high-priced Hollywood call girl ring. A decade later, Bailey and Barbato follow Fleiss as she sets out to open a legal brothel in Nevada called “Heidi’s Stud Farm” that caters to women, then runs into obstacles set up by local business leaders and battles her own drug abuse.

Fleiss, now 42, became a media sensation following her 1993 arrest in Los Angeles on charges of running a prostitution business that catered to the rich and famous. After trials in state and federal court, Fleiss eventually spent time in prison for tax evasion. She never revealed the names of clients, but actor Charlie Sheen acknowledged in videotaped trial testimony that he paid thousands of dollars for the services of her prostitutes.

Bailey and Barbato say Fleiss’ story is neither a tragedy, nor a triumph. In fact, they see their subject as a work in progress. “Look, Heidi Fleiss is not going to have anybody feel sorry for her,” Barbato said. “This is like the second act of her life, and there will be a third.”  Up next: San Francisco?

Low-overhead, solid cash flow, good tax revenue business considered by City of San Francisco.

Low-overhead, solid cash flow, good tax revenue business considered by City of San Francisco.

“We could use some organization and new taxable business in this city, what with liberals running things and our budget out of control.  Someone like Fleiss could come in here, jump start and ramp up the hooker action, pull serious sex trade from L.A. to the Bay, and with the new taxable enterprise, eliminate our budget deficit,” said an unnamed government official who continues to deny that he’s the Mayor.  “Some say it will lead to corruption but that’s silly talk, we couldn’t get a government much more corrupt that ours is already.  Legalized hookers would probably drop the crime rate.  If we legalize robbery for say, thefts below $100,000, we’d slash crime statistics even more.  I think we’re on to something with this.  We’re going to be a model city that the rest of America will be following.  We’ve already got Obama going against god and guns.  We’re a trend setter I tell you.”

In other news, New York Daily reported Thursday that new parents Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie skipped sex and went in vitro when they decided to add to their family. “They conceived through in vitro fertilization,” a Brangelina pal said. “They both desperately wanted more babies soon.” Reportedly Jolie, 33, opted for the pricey procedure so “she wouldn’t have to deal with the stress of trying to get pregnant,” the source added. According to San Francisco hooker advocates this kind of problem has become prevalent since Fleiss was run out of Hollywood.  “Sex without Fleiss is stressful and no fun, and that’s true whether you’re trying to get knocked up or not,” said an unnamed Academy Award winner.  “We need our hooker back here fast; we have no idea what we’re doing anymore.”

(C) 2008 InebriatedPress.com

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