Daily Archives: August 5, 2008

Obama Fixes Things by Suggesting They’re Fixed

He is who he’s been waiting for

Inebriated Press \ Division of Rant with few Pretzels
August 5, 2008

The New York Times reported on Saturday that after presidential candidate Barack Obama finished a speech in St. Petersburg, Florida, he responded to hecklers with these words: “I may not have spoken out the way you want me to speak out,” Obama said. “But I am suggesting that I have spoken out, and spoken out forcefully.”  No word on whether the hecklers responded to the powers of his suggestion, but reportedly one was spotted outside next to a Toyota Prius adding air to the car tires.

Obama using the power of suggestion.

Obama using the power of suggestion.

On Monday, the Charleston Daily mail reported on recent remarks made by the one-term Senator, as he outlined an alternative to drilling for oil: “There are things you can do individually to save energy,” Obama said. “Make sure your tires are properly inflated.”  So while some politicians have been debating drilling for more oil, or the expanded use of nuclear power, solving the energy problem is as simple as putting more air in our tires.  How could we have missed that?  Obama’s true genius is shining through more and more. 

Of course it’ll take a little time to fix the energy problem.  Blogger John Hinderaker calculates that properly inflated tires and tuned engines will take about 11,308 years to achieve what could be accomplished by drilling offshore and in other areas currently banned by Congress.  So it appears that even genius-like creativity requires some time to fully fix some of the problems we face.  Interestingly, Democrats have been criticizing Republicans saying that it could take up to ten years to get new oil if the Democrat controlled Congress were to allow drilling now, so why bother.  But at least we know who we’ve been waiting for. 

From the Obama ’08 website, Obama reflects on what it will take to create his undefined but suggested version of change, by saying, “We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.” Based on Obama’s statements one would have to assume that if “we” means Americans, then what “we’ve” be waiting for is someone with the powers of suggestion, or simply some undefined vague hope.

Obama without American flag lapel pin.

Obama without American flag lapel pin.

However, for those who value action more than words, it may be useful to consider that Obama acted on occasion.  He spent 20 years listening to and supporting Reverend Jeremiah Wright as he spewed anti-American hatred.  He hung out with Pentagon bomber Bill Ayers, even serving with him on a board.  And he arranged the purchase of his home through friend, supporter and currently a convicted racketeer, Tony Rezko.   Oh, and he also refused to wear an American lapel pin but had no problem putting on a turban and other Middle Eastern styled clothing.

While I remain somewhat unsure who I’ve been waiting for, I’m not sure it’s this guy.  But I have to admit, with the powers of suggestion and rock star persona it will be tough for American Idol voters to avoid pressing the Obama button this fall, just to keep him around another week.  What they’ll be forgetting of course, is that he’ll become the most powerful person in the free world, and will hold that title for four years.  And we can’t vote him off if we decide that his plan to placate terrorists and redistribute our tax dollars by the billions through the United Nations, ends up solving nothing and increases the danger to our lives.  But you can bet it’ll be a real rush.  I wonder what Obama would have said in New York City, standing on the 9-11 rubble?  How about, “I am suggesting that I have spoken out forcefully.” 

I feel safer already.

(C) 2008 InebriatedPress.com

Comments Off on Obama Fixes Things by Suggesting They’re Fixed

Filed under Division of Rant (with Pretzels), Humor, IP News