L.A. intro’s ‘inclusionary zoning’ in Brentwood, Russia does it in Georgia

City of Los Angeles forces housing units for poor into wealthy neighborhoods
Country of Russia forces Soviet styled enclave into Republic of Georgia

Inebriated Press
August 15, 2008

The Los Angeles Times reported Thursday that the Los Angeles City Council is introducing an “inclusionary zoning” plan that requires developers to build units for poor people in affluent parts of Los Angeles.  And the International Herald Tribune reported that Russian President Dmitri Medvedev said Thursday that Russia would guarantee the security of two pro-Russian enclaves in Georgia, and Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov said that Georgia could “forget about” territorial integrity because of the war.  Debate over why no one gives a shit about the rights of others to have some space of their own, is getting kicked around like a Republican in Denver from August 25th through the 28th of this year.

“It’s not right that the Russians and the Los Angeles City Council want to force groups of people into the heart of an existing country and community, rather than let them look after their own affairs without outside intrusion,” said Timothy Triscuit, a small-time industrialist and biscuit lover.  “Let nations and neighborhoods manage their own affairs and if they want help, they’ll ask for it.  The idea that outside organizations are forcing their will on people who are getting along fine without their interference is disgusting.  Georgia is a democracy and the neighborhoods in L.A. have grown up and developed and been organized according to basic zoning laws.  If you want to change the law of the City or encourage alternative viewpoints in another country, you need to take the people who are already living there into account.  You can’t just arbitrarily make a decision and say ‘take it and like it’ to the people there.  It’s wrong.”

Not everyone agrees with Triscuit.  “Those who wield power can do what they want because they can.  Charles Darwin, Joseph Stalin and Bill Clinton taught us that,” said Heather Graham-Cracker, a curvy blonde bio-technician, who enjoys playing with genes and tends to get whatever she wants.  “L.A leaders do what they want and Vladimir Putin has made it clear that what he wants to get what he wants.  And Putin wants the old Soviet Union back.  Over the last several years Putin banned the Russian provinces from electing governors and now Moscow appoints them; he put troops in former Soviet states and told them it was for their protection — the same kind of protection the Mafia provided Chicago shop-keepers in the U.S. during the 1930’s.  He said that the collapse of the Soviet Union was the worse thing to have happened in the past century of world history — worse than the Nazi extermination of the Jews, Darfur, earthquakes, floods, you name it.  He’s selling nuclear material and technical expertise to the Iranians and oppressing the Christian majority in Georgia at the behest of a Iranian affiliated Muslim minority.  He does what he wants because he can and he’ll act just like Stalin because it works.  He turns me on.  I love the guy.  I want to clone him.  I want to give birth to his cloned babies, three at a time.”

The Los Angeles Times reported that new L.A. condominium and apartment projects in neighborhoods such as Brentwood, Studio City and other affluent parts of Los Angeles could be required to include units for very poor people under a plan approved by the City Council on Wednesday. The commitment to introduce so-called inclusionary zoning — a contentious topic in Los Angeles politics for years — was part of a comprehensive housing plan that the city adopted to be eligible for hundreds of millions of dollars in state housing bond funds.

Advocates for the poor hailed the L.A. Council vote as a significant symbolic step. Others warned that the council’s action merely set the stage for a coming fight over the specifics of the rules, such as how many units developers would have to set aside and whether they would be for very poor people or for people earning moderate incomes.

The International Herald Tribune reported that Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov said that the Republic of Georgia could “forget about” territorial integrity. President Dmitri Medvedev said that Russia guarantees the security of two enclaves which are at the centerpiece of Russia’s invasion of Georgia. Medvedev said he would support the independence aspirations of South Ossetians and Abkhazians to break from the Republic.  He didn’t say when Moscow would stop oppressing the Russian province of Ingushetia which wants to break from Russia, and let them go free, or how that situation is different from the one in Georgia.

Defense Secretary Robert Gates, speaking in Washington, said that “the entire premise” of relations between Washington and Moscow had been called into question by Russia’s conduct in Georgia, and that the relationship could be affected “for years to come” if it did not quickly withdraw its forces.  He said Moscow’s goal was not peacekeeping and the protection of pro-Russian inhabitants of South Ossetia. Rather, he said, it was to send a message to Georgia and other former Soviet states that they should think twice before “daring to try to integrate with the West.”  The Republic of Georgia and the Ukraine, both former Soviet states, would like to join NATO.  Not everyone’s worried about what the Russians or L.A. City Council is up to.

“The United Nations is capable of writing a strongly worded statement condemning the actions of the Russians or L.A. City Council and these kinds of things are best left to them,” said junior one-term U.S. Senator and current president in waiting, Barack Obama, as he sat drawing pictures in the sand on a Hawaiian beach, and dreaming of changing America into something else.  “I am a world citizen and recognize that sometimes nations redraw boundaries and that results in change.  I like change and the biggest thing I want is for America to change.  I want my wife to be proud of America more often then once when I took the lead in the polls. My Global Poverty Act (S.2433) would allocate just 0.7 percent of the U.S. gross national product or a mere $845 billion commitment to the U.N. and Michelle would like that.  I’m buddies with people like Reverend Wright, Bill Ayers and Tony Rezko, so you know I can get along with Vladimir Putin, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Osama bin Laden.  Of course I just listen and they do what they want, but that’s one of the keys to getting along, and one of the changes I want at the U.S. presidential level.  A good listener who raises taxes to fund what they want and lets the rest of the world do whatever they want.  We can have peace in our time and get killed or invaded last.  It’s a vision worth having.”  

In other news, Reuters reported that pro-Western Ukraine vowed on Thursday to make Russia seek official permission for movements of its warships based in the ex-Soviet state despite Moscow’s objections, placing the neighbors on a collision course. Russia’s Black Sea Fleet is based on Ukraine’s Crimea peninsula under an agreement signed by the two ex-Soviet states. Kiev’s jurisdiction over the area remains a highly sensitive issue among Russian nationalists and in the peninsula dominated by ethnic Russians.

In Moscow, the deputy head of Russia’s general staff dismissed the Ukraine request for permission as irrelevant. “We have one general commander for the Black Sea fleet. It is the President of Russia,” Colonel-General Anatoly Nogovitsyn said. “And all commands from outside are illegitimate to us.” Ukraine’s leaders, like the United States, have backed Georgia throughout the conflict and urged Moscow to withdraw troops from its smaller neighbor’s territory. No word on when Russia invades the Ukraine or Los Angeles, but the Obama Campaign for President continues to insist that all change is good.

(C) 2008 InebriatedPress.com

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