Obama-Biden or Osama-Bin Laden: coincidence?
Inebriated Press \ Division of Rant with Pretzels
August 29, 2008
ABC News reported this week that junior senator and presidential candidate Barack Obama, gives his Democrat Party acceptance speech, from a stage resembling a Greek temple in the middle of Invesco Field, the stadium where the NFL’s Denver Broncos’ play. The event, which comes at the end of a string of primary elections where Obama said “we are the ones we’ve been waiting for” and stated that he would sit down with terrorists like Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and chat about his feelings toward destroying the nation of Israel, has some people wondering about this guy.
“I can give Obama a pass on hanging with anti-American pastors for twenty years, and being buddies with jailed racketeer Rezko and being pals with unrepentant Pentagon bomber Bill Ayers. I don’t even mind that he says he’s a Christian but carries a pocket sized Hindu monkey god in his pants while refusing to wear an American flag lapel pin,” said Neville Spearman, a publishing executive, whose books of weird tales don’t come close to where the U.S. is headed with Obama as president. “But this Greek god thing he has going and the stadium stuff after hanging out in Germany has the feel of Hitler’s god-complex occult leanings. Couple that with the Democrat’s plans to introduce the ‘fairness doctrine’ which would mandate government approved ‘alternative points of view’ on radio to ‘balance’ conservative programming, and you’ve got the makings of the Nazi Propaganda Ministry, directed by Dr. Joseph Goebbels. I’m no longer nervous. I’m scared shitless. I’m so tight that Ex-Lax isn’t even working anymore.”
Not everyone sees it the way Spearman does. “Obama has gained a lot of his financial support from the Internet and recent investigations show that the IP addresses the money is from are locations in the Middle East, so you know right there that he can get along with those folks better than the U.S. has up to this point,” said someone claiming to be Ayaan Hirsi Ali, an infidel who renounced her belief in Islam on ethical grounds. “Between Obama and McCain you have to see that McCain will fight against Muslim extremists and that will be problematic for America. While Obama will give in and pull out of Middle Eastern countries and let Iran and the Russians do what they want. This will allow the U.S. to live in peace up until it’s time for the U.S. to be subject to the 12th Imam or somebody like him as declared by Iran’s Ahmadinejad. Some people say that Obama is that Imam, and others say he’s half brother to Bin Laden. But Obama says he’s just a world citizen, and the man we’ve been waiting for. I wouldn’t worry. In the long run everybody dies anyway. That’s been shown to be true throughout history.”
ABC News said Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama’s big speech on Thursday night is delivered from an elaborate columned stage resembling a miniature Greek temple. The New York Times reported Wednesday that Obama aides were feeling under pressure since the $8 million extravaganza made it hard to show a connection between Mr. Obama and the concerns of everyday Americans. But pundits say that “Change We Can Believe In” is about putting your faith in the being from The Temple of Obama, and that’s what counts.
“I’m asking you to believe in my ability to bring change,” said someone claiming to be Barack Obama, sounding a little like JFK, Reagan and Hitler, but not necessarily in that order. “With your vote I will lead America and have the help of Nancy Pelosi the Democrat Speaker of the House, and Harry Reid, the Democrat Senate majority leader. Yes, finally the Democrat Party alone will control the United States. And with my vision of change, you can bet you’re going to see lots of it. I know that I’ve been vague up to this point and that I’ve only had two terms in the Illinois State Senate and haven’t even completed one as U.S. Senator. I know that I have no business experience and have never governed a State or even managed a McDonald’s. But that won’t get in my way when I’m the most powerful man in the free world backed by a Democrat controlled Congress. I will do stuff and not just suggest vague concepts. There will be change and I can promise that. I am my own god. Now I can be yours too.”
According to Fox News on Thursday, the same set team that designed Britney Spear’s last tour has constructed the enormous, Greek-columned stage where Barack Obama will officially accept the Democratic presidential nomination. The set, which was reportedly designed to resemble the White House and Lincoln Memorial, was built inside the 75,000-seat stadium — Invesco Field at Mile High in Denver — under the direction of Bobby Allen, Spears’ former staging manager. “It’s only appropriate that Barack Obama would descend down from the heavens and spend a little time with us mere mortals when accepting the Democratic nomination,” RNC spokesman Danny Diaz said.
In other news, The New York Post reported Thursday that scientists have transformed one type of cell into another in living mice, a big step toward the goal of growing replacement tissues to treat a variety of diseases. The work is “a major leap” in reprogramming cells from one kind to another, said one expert not involved in the research, John Gearhart of the University of Pennsylvania. No word from Obama whether he’ll use the technique to transform the U.S. from a Democratic-Republic into a Socialist-Totalitarian Regime, or if he’ll just let Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid do the heavy lifting.
(C) 2008 InebriatedPress.com