Daily Archives: October 20, 2008

ACORNs don’t fall far from the tree

Obama trained ACORN organizers
Friends of Obama funded Kenyan socialist

Inebriated Press \ Division of Rant (with Pretzels)
October 20, 2008

Fox News reported last week that while presidential candidate Barack Obama says he has only limited ties to ACORN, the community organization under federal investigation for registering voters illegally in six states, he has in fact, conducted training sessions for ACORN workers, and his campaign recently paid an ACORN subsidiary $800,000 for voter canvassing efforts.  Also, as a matter of record and reported in the book “The Obama Nation,” a group calling itself “Friends of Obama” contributed $1 million to a Marxist presidential candidate in Kenya, Raila Odinga.  In 2007 Obama, then a US Senator, with his wife Michelle, also appeared with Odinga at numerous events throughout the country.  Pundits argue that Marxist connections throughout Obama’s background and his recent comments to Ohioan Joe the Plumber, that “some income redistribution is good for everybody” doesn’t mean that his refusal to wear American flag lapel pins or say the Pledge of Allegiance really has significance.

“No one can accuse a man named Barack Hussein Obama, or any other person with an Indonesian-Muslim or radical Jeremiah-Wright-Christian background, that they will make decisions that could accidentally harm America,” said Bio Sphere, a column of gas and light, often considered the secret genius behind comedian Bill Ayers.  “And although it’s true that Barack’s affiliations would disqualify him for a job working for the federal government, there are no rules like that to stop American’s from electing him president of the United States, and making him the only Kenyan Luo Tribe member to rule the most powerful country in the world.  And that $1 million donation to Odinga, hey, he’s a relative from Obama’s Luo tribe, so leave that alone.  Who doesn’t help out their kin? This is just one more Fox News report designed to make people stop and think.  This is an election and there’s no room for that.”

Not everyone agrees with Bio Sphere.  “I like Barack and think he’d make a great neighbor if Tony Rezko and Bill Ayers weren’t around there too, but I kind of do think a person is a reflection of his friends and associates,” said Marcy Hart-Throbb, a cashier at the Purple Pyramid Navel Jewelry Store and occasional dynamite blonde, depending on her mood.  “Barack seemed too good to be true with his smooth good looks and elitist background from Harvard, and his down-home community organizer attitude.  But lately I’m thinking that his plan to hike taxes for his plus-$1 trillion dollar spending plans, and his comments to the plumber who just wants to hold on to his savings that ‘income distribution is good for everybody’ might not be so good.  I mean, Marxism is so expensive in terms of money and freedom.  Even though Democrat Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi from Berkeley and Democrat majority leader in the Senate, Harry Reid are there to rein him in, maybe they’ll need tax dollars to pay for the additional $300 billion they said they wanted to spend last week.  I suppose the money comes from someplace, right?”

Fox News reported last Thursday that Barack Obama says he only had limited ties to ACORN, and they began in 1995. But other encounters with the group, plus a voter-registration drive he conducted called Project Vote three years earlier, calls his account into question. The Democratic presidential candidate made his remarks in an effort to distance himself from the low-income advocacy group, which is under investigation for voter fraud in several states.
Obama conducted training sessions for ACORN workers a decade ago, and his campaign also recently paid an ACORN subsidiary for canvassing efforts. Plus his work with a group called Project Vote back in 1992 raises questions about whether he was involved with ACORN back then. ACORN was also registering voters at that time, and its relationship with Project Vote casts some doubt on Obama’s statement that his involvement with ACORN didn’t begin until three years later.

A blogger for Obama’s campaign Web site in February wrote: “When Obama met with ACORN leaders in November, he reminded them of his history with ACORN and his beginnings in Illinois as a Project Vote organizer … Senator Obama said, ‘I come out of a grassroots organizing background. … Even before I was an elected official, when I ran (the) Project Vote voter registration drive in Illinois, ACORN was smack dab in the middle of it.'” Also, Chicago ACORN organizer Toni Foulkes wrote in the 2003 edition of the journal Social Policy that the two groups were working to register voters when Obama led the effort in Illinois. It has already been widely reported that his campaign paid more than $800,000 to a group called Citizens Services Inc., an ACORN subsidiary, to “augment” Obama’s grassroots organizing efforts in the Ohio, Texas and Pennsylvania primaries. Pundits argue that getting money and training for community groups is what community organizers do, so it can’t be held against Obama.

“People fail to understand that pumping money into areas of the community and training and organizing them to intimidate officials so that they will accommodate their wants — be that in the US or Kenya — is what a good community organizer like Obama does for a living; so any attempt to hold that against him is unfair,” said someone claiming to be Saul Alinsky, author of ‘Rules for Radicals’ the socialist tome that gave Obama his organizing skill set.  “He’s applied my techniques and taught them to ACORN employees as well as any of my pupils has; he may be my best pupil.  You have to use skills like his to get people to give you power and once you have power; you have a kingdom and can do what you want.  That’s why in my book I said, ‘Let us not forget at least an over-the-shoulder acknowledgement to the very first radical: from all our legends, mythology, and history, the first radical known to man who rebelled against the establishment and did it so effectively that he at least won his own kingdom — Lucifer.’  I’m not saying Barack is up to that standard, but you have to admit, he’s hidden the truth with a facade of lies that few have penetrated, and win or lose, you have to give him a lot of credit for trying. He may even pull it off.”

And that’s got some Inebriated reporters stone cold sober.

© 2008 InebriatedPress.com

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Beach Sex Prison, Your Brain on Monogamy, And Strip Club Injuries

Brit couple gets prison term in Dubai for sex on beach
Researcher says monogamy may alter brain chemistry
Man sues club after injury from stripper action

Inebriated Press
October 20, 2008

BBC News reported last week that a British couple arrested in Dubai for having sex on a public beach in July, were sentenced to prison.  And UPI reported last week that a U.S. researcher says a study of prairie voles suggests monogamy may alter brain chemistry — in both animals and humans.  Meanwhile the Associated Press weighed in with news that a man is suing a strip club for injuries sustained when a performers shoe flew off during a pole dance, shattering a mirror and injuring him.  Pundits ponder law and brain chemistry while legally pounding Jack Daniels at the Helpless Otter and Goose Down Pit, while ignoring the presidential debates entirely.

“Who gives a rats ass about what one or the other candidate says, I’ve got a jug of booze and a babe with jugs and a free man’s attitude that won’t be squelched,” said Buddy Spritz, a part-time construction worker and full-time Harley owner, who believes that you make your own life and take your own liberties.  “I did my time in the Middle East and I’m making my way back in the land of the free.  I wouldn’t screw on a Dubai beach knowing those crazy Arabs, and if I get hurt in a club, hey, it won’t be the first time and probably not the last.  As far as the monogamous thing goes, I don’t know anything about that.  Maybe some day.”

Not everyone is as cavalier as Spritz.  “You got to pay attention to the elections and vote for the lesser of two evils, and you gotta know if crazy Arabs — I mean you should understand the rules of other cultures — when you’re on their beaches,” said May Fli-Pole, a slender brown bastion of all things female, and hotter than hell to boot. “You live in a free country and want to keep it that way? Then you gotta vote for the party that lets you make the decisions and doesn’t try to pimp you with money and take away your freedoms.  And monogamy is good if you want higher odds of avoiding disease; probably doesn’t hurt to look into that.  About strip clubs, I don’t get hurt; I give hurt, if anybody screws with me.  I got that shit covered.”

BBC News reported that a British couple was arrested in July for having sex on a public beach, in Dubai, a country of strict Islamic values. For three months 36-year-old Michelle Palmer and her one night stand Vince Acors, were barred from leaving the country. Now they have been sentenced to three months in prison and ordered to leave Dubai once that sentence has been served. The policeman who arrested them said, despite an earlier warning about their inappropriate behavior, he had later returned to find them having sex on a sunlounger.

UPI reported that a U.S. researcher says a study of prairie voles suggests monogamy may alter brain chemistry, resulting in depression when separated from their mate. Neuroscientist Larry J. Young of Emory University said close monogamous relationships foster the release of corticotropin-releasing factor, or CRF, that builds loyalty. The compound, however, can also result in depression when the pair are separated. He said the same chemical is found in human brains. “Whenever you form a pair bond, it changes your neurochemistry,” Young said. “If you lose that partner, it has a dramatic impact on the brain.” The study is published in the journal Neurospychopharmacology.

Associated Press reported that a Florida man is suing a Pompano Beach club claiming a performer’s shoe flew off during a pole dance, shattered the mirrored ceiling and caused glass and the shoe to hit him. The lawsuit filed in Broward County by 35-year-old Charles Privette says the Booby Trap breached its duty when its employee failed to perform her routine in a reasonably safe manner. The suit seeks at least $15,000 in damages. Privette’s attorney says his client suffered a small cut to his eyebrow, headaches and nose bleeds because of the pole dance. Some people say you get what you pay for.

“You have sex on the cheap in the sand instead of a nice hotel room or go to a cheap hooker club and get beat up, what are you expecting?  Butterflies and licorice whips for consolation prizes?” asked Mable Mellon-Carnage, a matron of some dignity, who only trades it for tips when waitressing at Denny’s during the late-late shift. “And a monogamous couple with true commitment and love for each other is going to get and give a lot, and it’ll be a good trade. You do get what you pay for most of the time — except in government; there you want as little interference as possible.  Now get out and vote you lazy asses.  Like they say in Chicago, ‘vote early, vote often.’  It’s the Chicago way.”

In other news, MyFoxColorado reported last week, that the outdoor sportsman industry hopes that the gun-totting Governor Sarah Palin, can re-energize the industry. According to the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, the overall number of hunters has declined to 12.5 million from 14.1 million in the past 15 years. Higher gas prices, increased license fees, and climbing equipment costs have all helped keep hunters out of the high country. “I would love to go hunting with my husband,” said Dylis McDole. “He just hasn’t bought me anything yet.” The industry hopes Palin will help get women in the cross-hairs and get more people back in the hunt.  No word on whether Palin likes beach sex or strip clubs, but it looks like she’s got the monogamy thing down.

(C) 2008 InebriatedPress.com

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