More old Clinton veterans join the Obama administration
Newsweek contemplates an Obama baby boom
Boston College does racy Victoria’s Secret deal
November 18, 2008
The Wall Street Journal reported yesterday that President-elect Barack Obama is continuing to fill staff positions for his incoming administration with people that have Clinton administration White House backgrounds. And Newsweek magazine reported in their November 24 issue that in the hours and days after Obama’s victory, many of his giddy supporters have been in the mood for love, and experts think there may be an “Obama baby boom”. Meanwhile the Boston Herald reported last week that Boston College cut a deal with racy underwear seller Victoria’s Secret, and it’s raising ire on campus and among the conservative, Catholic school’s alumni. Pundits are debating how much sex the Clintonista’s will promote in the Obama Oval Office, and whether the new Obama baby boom will drive future Victoria’s Secret sales at Boston College.
“Office sex, defense cuts and tax increases are key values that the old Clinton workers can bring to the new Obama administration, and when you want the kind of radical change that Obama is after, you need all the experience and liberal procreation that the Clintonista’s can bring,” said someone claiming to be Monica Lewinski, a former sex trade worker and new Obama appointee for internal Oval Office relations. “We can hit the ground — and other things — running, and help drive forward Barack’s wish-list faster than if he had to figure out how to get away with sex and murder in D.C. on his own. I’m not discounting what he’s been doing with old-style Chicago politics, heck it got him this far, but he’s new to D.C. and never even finished his first term in the Senate. Any high roller with the reach that Barack has will need all the Clintonista’s knowledge and experience if he hopes to screw staffers and the American people wholesale. But don’t forget the new rules — no blue dresses — not sure what that’s about.”
Not everyone thinks Obama’s Clintonista’s are what giddy sex-crazed O-baby-makers were expecting. “Wait a minute, I thought Barack was for government change and I voted for him instead of Hillary figuring we’d get that. I haven’t been wearing hot-pink Victoria Secret stuff and having sex with all the Obama supporters at Boston College just because Obama won the election. I’m doing it because I want and expect real change, and I thought that’s what he stood for,” said Stacy McMasterson, a blonde coed voluntary sex trade worker, whose Law School grades have been slipping due to her extra curricular activities. “I declared sexual abstinence after Bush was elected the second time and then after Obama won I released my pent up sexual aggression in every way possible. Now the Clinton’s are back in power anyway? So they were the ones who fronted Obama and not the Iranians, Black Muslims or George Soros? What a fool I was. Guess I’ll transfer to Iowa and pretend I’m a Republican.”
The Wall Street Journal reported that President-elect Barack Obama continues to fill out staff positions for his incoming administration during the weekend, with many of the new appointees having Clinton White House pedigrees. Gregory B. Craig, a former State Department official who also served as former President Bill Clinton’s impeachment lawyer, will be named White House counsel, serving as Mr. Obama’s chief lawyer, Democratic officials said.
Mona Sutphen, a former special assistant to Mr. Clinton’s national-security adviser, Sandy Berger, was named deputy chief of staff. Ms. Sutphen had been a managing director of Stonebridge International LLC, an international consulting firm that advises multinational corporations. Another Stonebridge managing director, Michael Warren, is leading the transition’s auditing team at the Treasury Department. The new names join a list that includes senior Clinton White House veterans, such as Rahm Emanuel, now Mr. Obama’s White House chief of staff, and Ron Klain, a top aide to Vice President Al Gore who will be Vice President-elect Joe Biden’s chief of staff.
Newsweek magazine reported that in the hours and days since Obama’s victory, many of his exhilarated supporters have been, shall we say, in the mood for love. And though it’s too soon to know for sure, experts aren’t ruling out the possibility of an Obama baby boom—the kind of blip in the national birth rate that often follows a seismic event, whether it’s scary (a terrorist attack) or celebratory (the end of World War II). “The mood of the country and the optimism about leadership is always somewhat related to birth rates,” says Dr. Manny Alvarez, chief of reproductive science at Hackensack University Medical Center in New Jersey. “I’m gearing up for a healthy increase.”
Hope and euphoria, says University of Washington sociologist Pepper Schwartz, are a serious aphrodisiac. And voters under 30 went for Obama by a margin of 2 to 1. When you combine those two elements—randy people of child-bearing age—the likely result is what the online Urban Dictionary has already dubbed “Obama Babies” : children “conceived after Obama was proclaimed President, by way of celebratory sex.” “If the amount of alcohol, happy people and major functions on election night is any indication, I suspect we’ll indeed see a boom,” says 25-year-old Brandon Mendelson, a graduate student in Albany, N.Y., who says he changed his vote at the last minute because “I wanted to be able to tell our future children that we voted for Obama.”
The Boston Herald reported that Boston College’s merchandising deal with racy lingerie peddler Victoria’s Secret is raising ire on campus and among the conservative, Catholic school’s alumni. “It’s just not appropriate,” said Maura Orrell of Quincy, as she surveyed the rhinestone- and glitter-covered Boston College sweatshirts, hanging just past the candy-colored Miracle bras. Last week on Newbury Street, outside a Victoria’s Secret store that is selling hot-pink Boston College tank tops for $19.50 and Eagles “short shorts,” others agreed. “It’s really tacky,” said Marcia, a “50-ish” auditor from Boston. At the Newbury Street Victoria’s Secret store, the BC display is located just past life-sized photographs of nearly naked women in lacy lingerie, and next to racks of colorful, glittery underwear. BC spokesman Jack Dunn said the school was “very selective.” He said the college had no knowledge of Eagles-emblazoned “short shorts” that were selling next to the hot-pink BC tank tops. He also said the university does not divulge how much it makes from selling licensed apparel.
Some people say its sex and politics that makes the world go ’round.
“One persons Victoria’s Secret underwear is another persons vote for the future, just like one drunken party pregnancy is Boston College’s next student. It’s all part of the cycle of life,” said a philosophical drunk sitting on the ground in Chicago’s Grant park, among the litter of ‘Obama for President’ signs and several broken prophylactics. “It was a hell of a party and I have no idea how many children I fathered in the last week or so, but at least I know that Obama will be taking care of them, one way or another. Some people want power, some want sex and others just sell themselves or hot clothes for money. I’m just a freeloader who takes what he can get. Let Obama have the power, Boston College can raise money from sexy clothes and the women who are fine getting knocked up at a party should have their way. It may not be the change you expected but what the hey, at least it’ll feel good for a little while. That’s all anyone really cares about. Who gives a rats ass about personal responsibility and common sense anyway. All that shit’s out of style. We’re in the age of Obama now.”
In other news, Germany’s The Local reported last week that about 40 men have agreed to a Cologne brothel owner’s offer of lifelong free entry in exchange for getting tattoos of the establishment logo on their arms. Armin Lobscheid, the manager at one of the city’s most famous brothels “Pascha,” said he didn’t think anyone would take him up on the offer he put up in the hallway of the 11-story hotel and club that offers a money back guarantee for a myriad of services. But Lobscheid “learned his lesson” on how far a thrifty john is willing to go. Dozens of men formed a line last Wednesday night for their “Pascha” tattoo.
One die-hard customer, 46-year-old Herbert Manske, told the paper he didn’t hesitate long to get the six large blue letters tattooed on his arm. “My wife doesn’t mind. I save five euros entry, plus the thirty euro cost of a lap dance,” he said. “And apart from that I get free drinks all night and can look at all the pretty girls. She knows that me and my friends go once a month to party in the Pascha.” No word on whether Obama plans to give out tax breaks for citizens who get a Barack tattoo on their arms, have kids named Barack in nine months, or whether Boston College is planning a Victoria’s Secret Eagle’ tattoo for fun or profit. Reportedly Bill Clinton supports all the above.
(C) 2008 InebriatedPress.com