Women want bigger boobs, Dictator’s lie for legacy, Framed man gets jail

Breast enlargements increase 27 per cent
Castro lies about success
Man charged despite girlfriend admitting she framed him

Inebriated Press
January 5, 2009

Women are load'n up

Women are load'n up

The UK Sun reported Friday that more and more women are going for boob jobs, with breast enlargements increasing by 27 percent.  Newsweek reported Saturday that despite more and more Latin American countries being governed by the left, most don’t subscribe to the Cuban model, because Castro has been lying about his success.  Meanwhile, the Northwest Arkansas Times reported Friday that an Arkansas man faces charges of taking pictures of an underage girl taking a shower, even though his girlfriend admitted she took the pictures and framed him.  Pundits are debating whether fake boobs, fake leftist success and fake voyeurism should now be rewarded since we are in a “new era of change” where Barack Obama’s fake executive credentials qualify him for the highest office in the land.

“Perception has always been reality, but often in past years the truth has trumped the artificial and hindered the rewards due the fake; but that’s all changing now,” said Sandy ‘Silicon Heat’ Moore, a structurally sound political scientist and part-time stripper at the Cuban Cigar Express Lounge and Liars Club.  “It’s high time that silicon breasts, lies about boyfriends and leftist stories about success are rewarded the way they should be.  Craftiness and good looks are always more important than what’s real.  Finally American’s are understanding that, and that’s why Barack Obama is being celebrated like the second coming of god, even though all he’s done is been a candidate and a part-time community organizer.”

Nicola McLean & Silicon

Nicola McLean & Silicon

Not everyone sees it the way ‘Sandy Silicon’ does.  “You can only fake stuff for so-long before it comes back to bite you, and beauty is only skin-deep regardless of your chest size,” said Sissy Mary-Matron, a slender blonde sales rep and a weight-lifter at Knitters Heavy Yarn Shop.  “Fake boobs are great but don’t make up for stupidity or inner beauty and lies about the success of left-leaning governments don’t make for a solid economy or make nationalizing business the best in the long run.  And as far as lies about voyeurism goes, we’re living a reality-TV era where people value real stuff in fictional situations — like the recent American Idol version of the U.S. election.  I don’t like the trends and I think we lose in the end if we keep playing like this, but hey, its majority rules so away we go.”

The Sun reported that more women are splashing out on expensive boob jobs, new figures have revealed. The startling survey shows more girls – and fellas – are turning towards cosmetic surgery than ever before. Breast enlargements have increased a whopping 27 per cent – as women strive to look like babes Gemma Atkinson and Pamela Anderson. Tummy tucks also soared by a staggering 54 per cent and nose jobs by 40 per cent. Liposuction treatment rocketed too, says the report from the Harley Medical Group. Model Jodie Marsh boosted her bust to 32GG last year as she feared they would not stay “pert forever”. After the op Jodie said: “When gravity takes its toll, you’re left with boobs that really only look good in a push up bra – which is what mine had become. And I’d got to a point where I was like, I want them to look like this all the time, I don’t want to have to keep pushing them up.”

090105_fidel_castroNewsweek reported that many Latin countries are now governed by the left, but few subscribe to the Cuban model. The magazine said Castro’s claims of success have been greatly exaggerated. There is only one indisputable success the Castro regime can claim for the country — Cuba was the last large territory in Latin America to achieve independence from Spain (in 1898). Lacking most modern tools such as computers, Web access and current textbooks and a connection with the real economy, Cuba’s supposedly excellent education system would probably compare much less well to those of other Latin American countries in a survey that didn’t depend on the government’s own statistics. Much the same is true of the country’s famed health system. Castro did initially deliver decent first-level health care to millions of peasants and urban poor. But standards plummeted with the end of Soviet subsidies in the early 1990s, with no money, no access to technology. Many of the region’s countries are governed by the left. But with a few exceptions (Venezuela, Nicaragua, Bolivia and perhaps Ecuador), none of their leaders subscribe to the Cuban tenets of the past or the present. If anything, leaders like Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva in Brazil, Michelle Bachelet in Chile, Tabaré Vázquez in Uruguay and Alan García in Peru resemble a modernized version of the pre-Castro reformist left.

Gemma Atkinson plus science

Gemma Atkinson plus science

The Northwest Arkansas Times reported that a University of Arkansas employee faces charges for recording a teenage girl in the shower even though his girlfriend told police she did it to get him in trouble. Kevin Dale Robinson, 35, was charged Tuesday with possessing or viewing matter depicting explicit conduct involving a child and video voyeurism. Robinson is accused on Oct. 6 of possessing nude images of a 16-year-old girl and using a digital camera to secretly record her while she was taking a shower. Robinson, who works as a systems programmer for the UA’s information technology services department, told Fayetteville police when he was arrested Nov. 12 that he did not take the video recording of the teenage girl. On Nov. 13, Robinson’s longtime girlfriend, Lela Churchwell, told police that she had recorded the nude shower footage but told the victim and police that Robinson did it to get him in trouble. She said she tried to convince Robinson that he did it when he was drunk. She also told police she had become pregnant by another man and she planned to blackmail Robinson so he would move out of the house and she could stay there while he paid the mortgage. “Developments in the case” convinced prosecutors to file charges against Robinson even though his girlfriend claims she made up the story, said Mark Booher, 4th Judicial District deputy prosecutor. “It’s a bizarre case,” Booher said.

Some people say that life is bizarre and is about to get even more so as people abandon the desire for truth and common sense and pursue good times through illusion and pretend.

“As long as we’re having fun, who cares if life is built on truth or lies?  It’s all an illusion skating on top of relative ethics and designer morality anyway, let her rip, I say,” said a passing hoot owl occasionally mistaken for Charles Darwin but in a dress.  “Life is all about what you can get away with or pass off as truth in a way that benefits you.  If enough people buy what you’re selling you get money and power, if not, you rejigger your scheme and spin it another way.  The Bill Clinton administration taught us that and proved that it works.  If George W. had stained a few blue dresses and let the Islamofashists have their way he’d have been a hero in the media.  Of course he’d have been blamed for a few more attacks on the U.S. by terrorists, but we’d gotten used to that.”

Jenna Fischer in good lighting

Jenna Fischer in good lighting

In other news, Fox reported Friday that “The Office” star Jenna Fischer donned skimpy lingerie in the hilarious “Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story” early in 2008, and while most starlets are scared of flashing the flesh in front of dozens on a film set, Fischer actually thought this was way better than doing it at home. “In your house you don’t have a team of people lighting you perfectly. They can light your cellulite so you see it or don’t see it; it’s the most amazing thing. They can put makeup on your legs, you try on hundreds of outfits until you find the one that looks the most perfect on you,” Fischer said. “It really has nothing to do with whether you’re in shape or not. They can do pretty amazing things with any body type.”  No word on whether she likes Castro’s view of reality or if she thinks people who are framed should get prison, but word is she’s into the silicon lifestyle and hopes Obama will make breast enhancements mandatory in his national health care plan.

(C) 2009 InebriatedPress.com

Source articles:

More women going for bust
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2086840.ece

Castro’s False Claims of Success
http://www.newsweek.com/id/177685

Man charged despite girlfriend telling police she framed him
http://nwanews.com/nwat/News/72625/

‘The Office’ Star Jenna Fischer Tells the Naked Turth
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,475129,00.html

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