Google Destroying the Environment, “Joy of Sex” Updated, No Pants Day 2K9

> Study says each Google search kicks out 7 grams of CO2
> Crown Publishing updates “Joy of Sex”
> Atlanta celebrates “No Pants Day 2K9”

 

 

Inebriated Press
January 16, 2009

Google destroying earth?

Google destroying earth?

Fox News reported this week that new research says performing a single Google web search from your computer generates about 7 grams of carbon dioxide and experts say there are 200 million Internet searches globally each day. And UPI reported last week that the book “The Joy of Sex” has been made-over with new chapters, including one on safe sex and another on transexualism.  Meanwhile the Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported that the No Pants Brigade celebrated “No Pants Day 2K9″ last week, as travelers hopped aboard subway trains pant-less.  Pundits are debating the risk of performing web searches and performing Joy of Sex exercises while pant-less on the subway.

No Pants Day 2K9!

No Pants Day 2K9!

“I was searching Google for the new ‘Joy of Sex’ with my Blackberry without pants-on while I was riding the subway downtown, and the thought that I was destroying the planet and emotionally destabilizing the man sitting next to me, made me second guess what I was doing,” said Stacy Racy-Longleggs, a hot blond data analyst and juggler, whose presence weakens most men’s knees even when she’s fully clothed.  “I began to wonder if it was appropriate for me to risk damaging the environment and the man’s personal relationships by my actions.  I started to think about the ethical impacts of my behavior.  Perhaps I shouldn’t just do what I feel like whenever and wherever I want.  Maybe there’s something to this personal responsibility crap.”

Some people say humans are part of the environment so what we do and how we act is in accord with nature by our very existence.

090116-josx2“Don’t let people with personal agendas confuse you with some idea about responsibility to the environment and other humans, as though there were some standard of ethical behavior you’re supposed to adopt.  We are here like the grass and the rocks and the beavers and can do whatever we feel like,” said Penny Lane-Quartermaster, a small-time commodities broker with a penchant toward lawlessness and a chest full of silicon.  “Who gives a rat’s ass about the guy sitting next to you unless you feel like it, and why worry about the planets environment unless you think there’s some personal benefit to you by doing it.  Anybody who tries to tell you what to do is selling something.  You’re here like everything else and it’s you who defines what it is you say and do.  Screw the people who try to tell you how to behave … if you feel like it.  Stalin taught me that.  Bill Clinton updated it.”

Fox News reported that performing two Google searches from a desktop computer can generate about the same amount of carbon dioxide as boiling a kettle for a cup of tea, according to new research. While millions of people tap into Google without considering the environment, a typical search generates about 7 grams of CO2. Boiling a kettle generates about 15 grams. “Google operates huge data centers around the world that consume a great deal of power,” said Alex Wissner-Gross, a Harvard University physicist whose research on the environmental impact of computing is due out soon. “A Google search has a definite environmental impact.”

090116-google-logoA recent report by Gartner, the industry analysts, said the global IT industry generated as much greenhouse gas as the world’s airlines — about 2 percent of global CO2 emissions. “Data centers are among the most energy-intensive facilities imaginable,” said Evan Mills, a scientist at the Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory in California. Banks of servers storing billions of Web pages require power.

United Press International (UPI) reported that the 1970s classic “The Joy of Sex” has gotten a makeover with 42 new chapters, including one on safe sex and another on transexualism, according to its publisher. The revised and updated “The Joy of Sex: The Timeless Guide to Lovemaking” replaces the pictures of hairy men in former editions with cleaner cut men, The Washington Post (NYSE:WPO) reported Saturday.

090116-joy-of-sex-bookThe new edition, by Crown Publishing Group, also ditches cracks about “one-legged ladies,” “negresses” and sex on horseback found in the original 1972 edition while adding a chapter on phone sex and a four-page resource guide on everything from menopause to eating disorders, the Post reported. The book originally written by Alex Comfort, a doctor and author who died in 2000, has been overhauled by Susan Quilliam, a British psychologist who advises a “practice session” before attempting new sexual positions so no one gets hurt.

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported that Atlanta’s No Pants brigade pre-empted Jamie Kendrick’s big plans of the Monster Jam truck rally on Saturday. En route from her Canton home to the Georgia Dome — on her very first MARTA ride — she witnessed nearly three dozen pranksters who took to the trains in their underwear. “I thought that maybe they work at Hooters,” the day care worker said of the two women standing in her car in white cotton high-cut briefs. “But then I thought, ‘I got new panties on, so does that mean I can take off my britches, too?’” She didn’t.

The idea of brotherhood of traveling pantless began in 2002, when seven people hopped New York City subways and dropped trou on their trips, according to Improv Everywhere, a New York-based guerrilla theater group. Saturday marked Atlanta’s first time participating in what is officially known as the “No Pants Day 2K9.” People react differently to the pantless. In Atlanta one man averted his eyes and clasped his female companion’s hand, to avoid a possible glance at the tighty whities. Most, though, just took pictures or burst into laughter.

Some people say that clothes are unnatural and that if humans were true to their natural origin they’d run around in their “birthday suits” all the time.

One woman's struggle against clothing

One woman's struggle against clothing

“We’re born nude and have to be taught to wear clothes which are completely unnatural, arbitrary and makes us subserviant to the clothing industry,” said Missy Mae-Bareclaw, a stripper at the Five-And-Dime Cheapskates Lounge and Tupperware Emporium.  “Not only is wearing clothes unnatural, it’s really immoral because it goes against the way we were born.  To compensate for my deep ethical struggles and yet appease social convention I wear mostly leather — which is animal based and closer to human skin than cotton, or I go nude.  That’s also why I strip, because I get paid to get natural and organic.  It’s the most natural way to work and live and still fit in.  True oneness with the planet requires us to avoid clothing and Internet based communications.  Everyone in the world should be nude and communicate in tactile ways.  It works at the Five-And-Dime.”

090116-j-o-tax

In other news, the Star Tribune reported last week that a former exotic dancer who worked at Rick’s Cabaret in Minneapolis between 2004 and 2006, and allegedly made about $80,000 in tips during one year, is now facing multiple felony charges for failing to report the money as income. Stephanie Antes, 28, of Albertville, is charged with five felony counts and one gross misdemeanor count of failing to file and pay income taxes and filing a false income tax return, according to the Minnesota Department of Revenue.  No word on how Stephanie feels about Google destroying the environment, but there’s no doubt that she backs No Pants Day 2K9, and probably has plans to enjoy the updated version of the “Joy of Sex” … if she’s not in jail for tax evasion.  You may be able to skip wearing clothes, but you can’t avoid paying taxes.  Unnatural though they may be, you pay them or the government has your ass – pantless or not.

(C) 2009 InebriatedPress.com

Source articles:

Research Reveals Environmental Impact of Google Searches
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,479127,00.html

Crown Publishing updates ‘Joy of Sex’
http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2009/01/10/Crown_Publishing_updates_Joy_of_Sex/UPI-57101231615659/

No pants needed for MARTA ride
http://www.ajc.com/metro/content/metro/atlanta/stories/2009/01/10/marta_no_pants.html?cxntlid=homepage_tab_newstab

Rick’s Cabaret exotic dancer didn’t report $80,000 in tips, charges say
http://www.startribune.com/local/37313284.html?elr=KArksLckD8EQDUoaEyqyP4O:DW3ckUiD3aPc:_Yyc:aUac8HEaDiaMDCinchO7DU

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