Rich Guys Give More Orgasms, Playboy Bunny Cheats on Hugh, Researchers Study Blondes

> Scientists say wealthy men give women more orgasms
> Former Playmate admits cheating on Hugh Hefner
> Academic conference discusses blondes and sexual desire

Inebriated Press
January 23, 2009

Kendra 'Money Doesn't Equal Orgasm' Wilkinson

Kendra 'Money Doesn't Equal Orgasm' Wilkinson

The UK Times Online reported this week that a new study by Newcastle University scientists says that women’s orgasm frequency increases with the income of their partner.  And New Zealand’s Stuff.com reported that former Playboy bunny Kendra Wilkinson cheated on ex-boyfriend Hugh Hefner because the magazine founder couldn’t satisfy her.  Meanwhile, United Press International reported that researchers at the Sorbonne in Paris said an upcoming conference at the school will be focused on the link between blond hair and sexual desire.  Pundits are debating money, sex and hair color the way Bill Clinton does whenever Hillary is out of town — and with her new job as Obama’s Secretary of State — that’s even more often than it used to be. 

“I’ve done blondes and brunettes with cigars and half dollars by the gross back in my Oval Office days, and you can always get what you want with enough power whether you’ve got the bucks or not,” said someone claiming to be Bill Clinton, speaking through an interpreter at the Horny Mole Book, Beer and Strip Club for Intellectuals and Unclaimed Husbands.  “You can study this stuff all you want but it’s a waste of time to those of us who’d rather just do it.  That’s how I got the Playboy chick to sneak out on Hef for me.  I don’t know if I gave out any more orgasms than I did political pardons, but I got what I wanted and that’s what matters.”

Spitzer with Wife not Hooker

Spitzer with Wife not Hooker

Some people say money and sex makes the world go ’round regardless the color of your hair or political power.  “The development of civilization as we know it was built on sex and money.  It goes back to the world’s oldest profession — hooking, and to the second oldest — politics,” said former New York Governor Spitzer, contemplating lost youth, sex and power, but not necessarily in that order.  “From the day that Adam noticed Eve was naked to the day Judah gave a goat to his daughter-in-law in exchange for sex, thinking she was a hooker.  Throughout history, sex and money, or goats, have been in the offing and it’s the foundation of the world and society.  It’s all there in the Biblical book of Genesis and believe me I don’t quote it as much as I used to.”

Bill & Malinda Gates, Money & Mojo?

Bill & Malinda Gates, Money & Mojo?

Times Online reported that scientists have found that the pleasure women get from making love is directly linked to the size of their partner’s bank balance. They found that the wealthier a man is, the more frequently his partner has orgasms. “Women’s orgasm frequency increases with the income of their partner,” said Dr Thomas Pollet, the Newcastle University psychologist behind the research. He believes the phenomenon is an “evolutionary adaptation” that is hard-wired into women, driving them to select men on the basis of their perceived quality. The study is certain to prove controversial, suggesting that women are inherently programmed to be gold-diggers. However, it fits into a wider body of research known as evolutionary psychology which suggests that both men and women are genetically predisposed to ruthlessly exploit each other to achieve the best chances of survival for their genes. Pollet, and Professor Daniel Nettle, his co-author, believe that the female orgasm is an evolutionary adaptation that drives women to choose and retain high-quality partners. 

Kendra on the lam

Kendra on the lam

Stuff.com reported that former Playboy bunny Kendra Wilkinson cheated on ex-boyfriend Hugh Hefner because the iconic men’s magazine founder couldn’t satisfy her. The 23-year-old star – who recently moved out of the Playboy Mansion after splitting from the 82-year-old lothario – admits she used to “sneak” out of the famous party house to get the satisfaction Hugh couldn’t provide. She said: “I had to have sex every now and then, so I had to kind of sneak it. I had to have sex so I could feel my age, like a healthy human being.” The star said she found living in the mansion stifling, as she had little freedom. “Now I’m totally against his way of life,” she said. “With three girlfriends and all of that.”

UPI reported that researchers at the Sorbonne in Paris said an upcoming conference at the school will be focused on the link between blond hair and sexual desire. The Jan. 16-17 conference, titled “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes” after the Howard Hawks-directed film starring Marilyn Monroe, will involve experts in literature, art, music and film discussing possible answers to questions including: “Why does the blonde exert such fascination and awaken so many fantasies?”

Kendra tried sports to take her mind off sex

Kendra tried sports to take her mind off sex

“Blondness awakens desire, probably because of the ambivalence it carries, from innocence to perversion,” said Marie-Camille Bouchindomme, an organizer of the conference. “Blond hair is an attribute of Venus, the goddess of carnal love, whose hair is sometimes the final rampart against her modesty.” Bouchindomme said discussions will be held to discuss the portrayals of blond women in paintings, books and the films of directors including Alfred Hitchcock, David Lynch and Brian De Palma.

In other news, Britney Spears has been working out like crazy and whipped her body into shape as she prepares for her tour “The Circus Starring Britney Spears.”  No word on the orgasmic frequency of rich singers on tour, but Brit’s blonde and in shape so she’s probably going to drive some guys crazy again.  Or something like that.

(C) 2008 InebriatedPress.com

Source documents:

Brit's bod is back

Brit's bod is back

Wealthy men give women more orgasms
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/science/article5537017.ece

Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis%203:7-8;&version=31;

When Judah saw her, he thought she was a prostitute
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis%2038:13-17;&version=31;

Playboy bunny admits cheating on Hugh
http://www.stuff.co.nz/4820586a1860.html

Academic conference discusses blondes
http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2009/01/14/Academic_conference_discusses_blondes/UPI-57071231966649/

Your First Look at Britney’s Tour
http://www.britneyspears.com/2009/01/exclusive-tour-rehearsal-pics.php?bfm_index=0&bfm_page=0

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