Teacher cuts Class for Prostitution, Dutch fear loss of Porn Archive, and Pam Anderson now living in Mobile Home

> Fourth-grade teacher had side job as prostitute
> Dutch city pornography archive missing
> Former ‘Baywatch’ star living in mobile home with new lover

Inebriated Press
February 16, 2009

090216-teacher-b-wAssociated Press reported last week that an Ohio fourth-grade teacher had a side job as a prostitute, and even skipped class for trysts.  And Associated Press also reported last week that the Dutch city of Leeuwarden is missing its porn archive, and officials fear it may be gone for good.  Meanwhile, BANG Media reported that Pamela Anderson has moved into her electrician boyfriend’s trailer and is living there with her sons, Brandon and Dylan.  Pundits are debating why the public is confused about the sophisticated logic behind hooker-school-teachers, the porn collections of cities, and hot babes who prefer living in trailer-houses rather than multi-million dollar mansions.

“Some of the general public, who for reasons unknown, continue to cling to vestiges of common sense and aspects of old-school logic are surprised and confused when they hear that grade-school teachers are also hookers, and that most cities keep porn collections and that famous actresses would rather live in sleazy cracker-box-sized trailers than in massive plush mansions.  That kind of mental discord is one of the reasons the U.S. desperately needs nationalized healthcare,” said someone claiming to be Barack Obama, a community organizer who recently began reorganizing the community known as the United States of America by proposing a ‘stimulus package’ containing provisions that will fundamentally change the foundation of the country and provide him the freedom to reinterpret the U.S. constitution through the use of Executive Orders.  “Teachers shouldn’t have to hook on the side to make ends meet, but they also shouldn’t have to give sex away to their students for free.  Part of my new healthcare/education package will provide teachers with more income if they teach and have sex with kids at school.  And in the future most American’s will be living in trailer houses because they require less resources and the folks will have more money to spend on taxes.  And as far as porn achieves are concerned, they’re as historic as the U.S. Constitution and every city should have a collection they keep around just to look at from time to time.”

090216-archives-b-wNot everyone agrees with the guy claiming to be Obama, or that it was Obama who said those things.  “Even someone who’s busily converting the U.S. into a socialist society isn’t going to support student-teacher sex or the idea that everyone, even bureaucrats will be living in mobile homes.  I can see him backing the porn achieves, but that’s an artsy kind of thing,” said Mary Chrismas-Party, a professional weight-lifter and new age philosopher, whose missives on utopia through dictatorship is required reading in the Obama Administration.  “It’s true that most of the common masses will probably live in mobile homes in the future, but the aristocratic socialist Democrats will still have mansions, porn collections and occasionally have sex with a teacher who skips out on class.  But that’s merely progressive and shouldn’t be misunderstood as change for change itself.  Give Obama four years and you’ll begin to understand.  Give him eight and you won’t even be asking questions about this stuff.”

Amber Carter

Amber Carter

Associated Press reported that authorities say an Ohio fourth-grade teacher had a side job as a prostitute, and even skipped class after using a school computer to arrange an afternoon tryst at a motel. Logan County sheriff’s officials say 35-year-old Amber Carter was arrested Tuesday at a motel parking lot in Bellefontaine in central Ohio. She’s charged with misdemeanor prostitution and a felony, and unauthorized use of property, regarding the computer. Bellefontaine City Schools Superintendent Larry Anderson says officials are shocked. He says Carter never received a reprimand in 13 years at the district. She’s now on administrative leave.

Dutch Playboy

Dutch Playboy

Associated Press reported that the municipal pornography archive in the Dutch city of Leeuwarden is missing and officials fear it may be gone for good. Spokesman Erik Krikke of the city’s historical center said the archive – which contained photos, drawings and erotic texts with a connection to the city – may have been taken home “accidentally” by an employee or visitor. Krikke said the bulk of the archive had been assembled by a “fanatic” curator at the historical center, mostly during the 1960s and ’70s. Items such as pictures by local photographers and artists would be difficult or impossible to replace.

The collection included a copy of the rare February 1998 edition of Dutch Playboy, Krikke said. It featured girls from each of 11 Dutch cities along the route of the country’s most beloved ice skating race, the Elfstedentocht. One of those girls was from Leeuwarden. Asked whether he thought it was unusual for the town to have a pornography collection, Krikke said “yes” – and that made the loss greater.

Pamela Anderson

Pamela Anderson

BANG Media reported that former ‘Baywatch’ star Pamela Anderson, is reportedly living in a mobile home with new lover Jamie Padgett, who is a surfer and electrician, in Malibu. A source said: “Pam and the kids joined Jamie and his sons – who are around Brandon and Dylan’s age – on his boat in Paradise Cove at the weekend. They spent most of the time on the beach with their kids. They are really happy together. Pam is staying with him in the Paradise Cove trailer park while her house is renovated.” Pamela is said to have fallen “head over heels” with Jamie because of his clean living ways – in stark contrast to Pamela’s ex-husbands: Motley Crue rocker Tommy Lee, who is also the father of her children, rapper Kid Rock and professional poker player and pornographer Rick Salomon.

Some experts say that common people with “clean living ways” have accidentally done some good historically, though they aren’t sure why.

Living large with Pam

Living large with Pam

“If you look back at history it’s rather amusing to discover that guys and gals who lived lives based on Judeo-Christian values, exhibited fairness and lived by the ‘Golden Rule,’ often created stable families and societies and ended up building great civilizations that resulted in more individual freedom and economic success than societies based on socialism, dictatorship or totalitarianism,” said Chester Fester-Acorn, a social activist who believes random ethics are the most natural and enduring and should be the basis of all governments.  “It’s amazing how such accidents could have occurred like those, when everyone knows that central planning conducted by the political elite is the only way to run a social system or country.  In a few years the U.S. will get a taste of that utopia when the government tells everyone what to do and how to do it.  People misunderstood Orwell’s book ‘1984’ and thought it was a warning to free people.  The reality is, it’s a manual for the Obama administration.  But Obama and his people will make it work.  They’re smarter than every socialist group that tried central control before.  That’s why it’ll work this time even though it never has.  And as for the successful American experiment of private enterprise and individual freedom?  Well, like all old ideas it had to go the way of lost porn collections.  Some feel wistful about its loss, but it’s no big deal really. Having the will of the powerful imposed on the individual is as natural as Darwinism.  Why fight it?”

We're here to help

We're here to help

In other news UPI reported last week that Swedish police said they broke down the door of a hostel after hearing what seemed to be a woman’s screams, only to discover an opera singer was practicing. “They thought somebody in there was in distress and made a decision to raid the premises,” police spokesman Peder Jonsson said. However, when the police broke down the door and entered the building, they discovered that the high-pitched sound had been a female member of a South African choir practicing for an upcoming performance at the Norrlandsoperan opera house. No word on whether the choir felt safer knowing that cops are free to break into homes whenever they feel like it, but in the years ahead we’ll probably all get used to the idea.

(C) 2009 InebriatedPress.com

Article sources:

Ohio Teacher Cut Class For Prostitution
http://www.wbbm780.com/Ohio-Teacher-Cut-Class-For-Prostitution/3833235

Dutch city fears loss of pornography archive
http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/E/EU_ODD_NETHERLANDS_PURLOINED_PORN?SITE=AP&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2009-02-12-12-28-57

Pamela Anderson living in trailer
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/35/20090212/ten-pamela-anderson-living-in-trailer-764dee7.html

Police mistake singing for screams
http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2009/02/11/Police_mistake_singing_for_screams/UPI-39601234379917/

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