Killer Erections and Legalized Incest

> Brazilian spider bite gives men erections, then they die
> Romania considers legalizing incest
.
Inebriated Press
March 23, 2009
Erectile issues or spider bites?

Erectile issues or spider bites?

Fox News reported Friday that a Brazilian wandering spider was discovered in a bunch of bananas from Honduras at a Whole Foods Market in Tulsa, Oklahoma.  University of Tulsa animal facilities director Terry Childs said a bite from the spider will kill a person in about 25 minutes.  Researchers have also found its venom stimulates an hours-long erection in men.  Meanwhile, Associated Press reported Saturday that Romania is considering decriminalizing incest among consenting adults as part of a wide range of reforms to the country’s criminal code. Some twisted bastards say they’d do anything for a killer erection and sex with some kids.

Monica

Monica

“In today’s advanced world of high society and low ethics it’s important that it’s legal to have sex with your own or other people’s children, and have great erections or die trying,” said Roy Radow, a principal member of the North American Man/Boy Love Association (NAMBLA) and all around sick bastard. “There should be sexual freedom for all people and that includes legalization of incest, rape and murder. All ethics are subjective anyway and adults should be able to do anything they want, not only people who have government power. Bill Clinton did whatever he wanted to with Monica, Hitler did whatever he wanted to do with the Jews, and Barack Obama just does whatever he wants with the United States.  There’s no point in thinking that anything is actually criminal, immoral or stupid.  And Rule of Law is just a bothersome invention.  The legal AIG contracts that the government wants broken prove that.” 

Someone named Tammy

Someone named Tammy

Not everyone agrees with the sick bastard.  “Society is gradually slipping into a combination of idiocy, degredation and downright foolishness.  The idea that sex with children should be legalized, is wrong on so many levels it makes me sick,” said Tammy Tonsel-Niterain, a healthy medical doctor occasionally nausiated by societal trends and Obama’s healthcare plan. “One can only hope that the perpetrators of these schemes get bit by Brazilian spiders and die … with or without errections. And that Obama’s plans to undo the best healthcare system in the world dies too.  I’m not saying healthcare isn’t expensive and in need of some work, but to convert it to a system that has already failed is like intentially getting spider bites for great errrections with the guarentee that by the time you’ve got one you’re dead. Only complete morons would do it.”

Whole Foods

Whole Foods

Fox News reported that an employee of Whole Foods Market in Tulsa discovered what an expert said was a Brazilian wandering spider in a bunch of bananas from Honduras and managed to catch it in a container. The spider was given to University of Tulsa animal facilities director Terry Childs, who identified the arachnid and said that type of spider is one of the most lethal in the world. Childs said a bite will kill a person in about 25 minutes, and while there is an antidote, he doesn’t know of any in the Tulsa area.

Erection making killer spider

Erection making killer spider

Researchers have found its venom also stimulates an hours-long erection in men. Patients not only experience overall pain and an increase in blood pressure, they also get an uncomfortable erection. In Brazil, emergency room staff can immediately spot the victims of a bite. “The erection is a side effect that everybody who gets stung by this spider will experience along with the pain and discomfort,” said study team member Romulo Leite of the Medical College of Georgia, presumably speaking only about male bite victims. “We’re hoping eventually this will end up in the development of real drugs for the treatment of erectile dysfunction.”

Spiders often are found in imported produce. A manager at Whole Foods says the store regularly checks its goods and that’s how the spider was found.

Associated Press reported that surprising as it may seem, incest is not always a crime in Europe. Three European Union nations — France, Spain and Portugal — do not prosecute consenting adults for incest, and Romania is considering following suit.

Fritzl "Sick Bastard" & Daughter Elisabeth

Fritzl "Sick Bastard" & Daughter Elisabeth

The shocking case of Austrian Josef Fritzl, found guilty last week of holding his daughter captive for 24 years and fathering her seven children, has focused new attention on incest — which is a crime in itself in Austria even if the acts are consensual. But in the Fritzl case it was in connection with rape, homicide and other charges that led to a sentence of life in a secure psychiatric ward.

Laws exempting parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters from prosecution for incestuous acts if they are not forced upon adult family members are decades old in France, Spain and Portugal. In Romania, decriminalizing incest among consenting adults is being considered as part of a wide range of reforms to the country’s criminal code.

“Not everything that is immoral has to be illegal,” said Justice Ministry legal expert Valerian Cioclei. No date has been set yet for a parliament vote on the bill, and opposition to the proposal is fervent even among some lawmakers in the ruling coalition.

Some people say, when you destroy lives it makes the world better.

Himmler, misunderstood Nazi

Himmler, misunderstood Nazi

“Life should be hard and abuse of all kinds is natural, it comes from nature and the deep depraved resesses of the human psychye, and as such should be praised, celebrated and appreciated,” said Heinrich Himmler, a Nazi whose concentration camps were often mistaken for extermination camps, when they were really intended to improve the human race by eliminating the sick, weak and undesirable.  “Immoral acts don’t need to be illegal, that is a great truth.  I was critisized for immoral acts that some claimed to be illegal.  Before I committed suicide after my arrest, I was a creative scientific mind being attacked for my beliefs.  Some western cultures can be so intollerant.  Good thing the Islamofaschists are on the march.  I don’t necessarily like their religion but I love their tactics.  Kind of makes me wish I was alive again so I could help them out.  That and being in Hell like I am is kind of a drag.”

Dr. Aggarwal

Dr. Aggarwal

In other news, the UK Daily Mail reported last week that a family doctor prescribed a ‘good screw’ to a woman who was suffering from panic attacks, a court heard during testimony. Dr Rajinder Aggarwal, 54, also allegedly gave unnecessary intimate examinations, smacked patients on the bottom and questioned them about their favourite sexual positions. Four women, aged between 26 and 53, have lodged complaints about Aggarwal’s conduct in December 2006 and January 2007. No word on whether the doctor also advocated sex with kids or the use of spiders to get quick hard-ons, but the case isn’t over yet.

(C) 2009 InebriatedPress.com

Source documents:

‘World’s Deadliest Spider’ Found in Whole Foods Produce Section
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,509876,00.html

North American Man/Boy Love Association, From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NAMBLA

Romania weighs decriminalizing consensual incest
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090321/ap_on_re_eu/eu_europe_incest

Doctor smacked bottoms and quizzed women about sex, court hears
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1162682/Doctor-smacked-bottoms-quizzed-women-sex-court-hears.html

Heinrich Himmler, From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heinrich_Himmler

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