> US Space Agency Preps Missile for Moon Explosion in Water Search
> Barmaid with 36GG Bust to Leap Topless from Plane: “I like to live on the edge”
> WSJ Poll finds Americans Fear growing Budget Deficit and Government’s Economic Intervention
June 19, 2009
Mercury News reported Monday that NASA is preparing to fly a rocket booster into the moon, triggering a six-mile-high explosion that scientists hope will confirm the presence of water. And the Lancashire Evening Post reported Wednesday that busty barmaid Charlotte Robinson is gearing up for a topless skydive. Meanwhile, the Wall Street Journal reported Thursday that Americans are increasingly wary of the growing budget deficit and the Obama administrations economic interventions. Pundits are debating the benefits of blowing up the moon and the U.S. economy, while others consider leaping from airplanes without clothes on.
“I think that living on the edge is a hell of a lot of fun and a real rush. I mean think about it, we’re in an economy that Obama is pumping trillions of dollars into, to remove L.A. tattoos, and build high-speed trains we don’t need, and study why pigs stink — not to mention his move to take over two of the Big Three car companies and nationalize them. The value of the dollar will free-fall and inflation will go through the roof. I’m jazzed up just thinking about it and that’s before I imagine myself free-falling at a couple hundred miles per hour with my naked boobs flapping as I plunge toward earth from an airplane. This is life the way it’s meant to be lived,” said Charlotte Sunblok-Areola, an account executive at the Satin, Lace and Diesel Parts Company. “If it was left to me to blow up the moon I don’t think I could have a better year. Oh I suppose maybe it could be better if I were able to get rid of a couple STD’s I have from risky sex, but what the heck, I like life on the edge and sometimes it stings a little.”
Not everyone sees it the way Sunblok-Areola does. “The NASA moon bombing is a little weird but I suppose maybe its okay in the cause of science, I mean if they find water or something. But this notion that pumping trillions of dollars into the U.S. economy on shit we don’t need and then call it ‘stimulus’ doesn’t stimulate me at all. How can anyone call irresponsible spending a responsible thing to do, its foolishness,” said Karen Cashin-Carrey, a fiscal conservative and ethical relativist who pastes disproportionate logic together as best she can, but lately has been coming up empty. “And this idea that skydiving topless is going to be fun is as logical as government run national healthcare. You’re not going to get what you’re expecting and it’s going to hurt. You think the government can operate healthcare better than private industry? It can’t run Medicare, Medicaid or Social Security. Why will it do a better job of keeping you healthy? And skydiving topless will put your breasts out there with blowing dirt and bugs and leaves and shit. You think it’ll be fun when those things smack against your nipples and breasts at several hundred miles per hour? Hell no. Wake up people, you’re not thinking straight. Doing dumb shit doesn’t just sting a little; it hurts a lot, maybe not today but tomorrow and for a long time afterward. This stuff doesn’t fix easily, even when you stop the stupidity and start the healing process.”
The Mercury News reported that in an unprecedented scientific endeavor — and what may be one of the coolest space missions ever — NASA is preparing to fly a rocket booster into the moon, triggering a six-mile-high explosion that scientists hope will confirm the presence of water. The four-month mission of the Lunar Crater Observation and Sensing Satellite (LCROSS), which will be directed from NASA’s Ames Research Center at Moffett Field, is to discover whether water is frozen in the perpetual darkness of craters near the moon’s south pole. As a potential source of oxygen for life support and hydrogen for rocket fuel, that water would be a tremendous boost to NASA’s plans to restart human exploration of the moon. The plans are for LCROSS to separate from the Centaur booster less than 10 hours before impact and will be less than 400 miles above the moon when the spent rocket booster collides at a speed five times faster than a bullet from a .44 Magnum. NASA plans to stream a live view from LCROSS as the Centaur, followed by the spacecraft, plows into the moon. If all goes as planned it would hit the moon in the early morning hours of Oct. 8.
The Lancashire Evening Post reported that busty barmaid Charlotte Robinson is gearing up for a skydive with a difference. The 24-year-old, from Catterall in Garstang, will jump 14,000ft from a Turbine Porter aircraft – topless. The bubbly mother-of-one will be strapped to the front of an instructor and will freefall at more than 120mph before the parachute opens. She is hoping the jump, at the Black Knights Parachute Centre, Hillam Lane, Cockerham, will raise hundreds of pounds for the North West Air Ambulance. She said: “I don’t know if I’ll hurt myself – I might do because I’m a 36GG. I don’t know how the topless part came about. I’m just a bit mental really and definitely outgoing. I’m a bit nervous. The only other thing I’ve done is a bungee jump when I was about 12. But I do like to live on the edge.”
The Wall Street Journal reported that after a fairly smooth opening, President Barack Obama faces new concerns among the American public about the budget deficit and government intervention in the economy as he works to enact ambitious health and energy legislation, a new Wall Street Journal/NBC News poll finds. These rising doubts threaten to overshadow the president’s personal popularity and his agenda, in what may be a new phase of the Obama presidency. “The public is really moving from evaluating him as a charismatic and charming leader to his specific handling of the challenges facing the country,” says Peter D. Hart, a Democratic pollster who conducts the survey with Republican Bill McInturff. Going forward, he says, Mr. Obama and his allies “are going to have to navigate in pretty choppy waters.”
Nearly seven in 10 survey respondents said they had concerns about federal interventions into the economy; including Mr. Obama’s decision to take an ownership stake in General Motors Corp., limits on executive compensation and the prospect of more government involvement in health care. A solid majority — 58% — said that the president and Congress should focus on keeping the budget deficit down, even if takes longer for the economy to recover. Mr. Obama’s overall job approval and personal ratings have slipped, particularly among independent voters. His job approval rating now stands at 56%, down from 61% in April. Among independents, it dropped from nearly two-to-one approval to closely divided. When asked what the most important economic issue facing the country is, 24% cited the deficit, vs. just 11% who named health care.
In other news, the Telegraph reported Tuesday that a woman has cancelled her church wedding and country house reception after discovering her fiancé is a secret porn star. Haylie Hocking, 27, only found out that strapping 30-year-old fitness fanatic Jason Brake made adult films just weeks before the big day. A friend organizing her hen night searched online for a male stripper and spotted Jason with a woman in a porn movie. Now Haylie has called her vicar to cancel the wedding. She said: “There was no way I could marry an adult film star.” He told her he was a personal trainer when the couple began dating. After eight months, he proposed and bought her a diamond engagement ring. But Jason’s secret emerged when Haylie’s friend Lisa tried to book a stripper for a hen party. After Jason finally admitted he was earning money from making porn, Haylie called off the wedding. Haylie said: “I don’t know if I will ever be able to trust a man again.” No word on whether she trusts politicians with her healthcare, or how she feels about NASA bombing the moon, but she seems pretty traditional so she probably has no plans to leap from a plane topless with her breasts pummeling her face and arms and being pummeled themselves. But I could be wrong. After all, Americans elected a president with no governing or business experience. Sometimes rational people do irrational things. Maybe there are times when the pummeling we get, we deserve. But smart folks learn from their mistakes. Here’s hoping Americans are smart folks. Time will tell.
(C) 2009 InebriatedPress.com
NASA/Ames ready to explode one of the coolest space missions ever
Busty barmaid prepares for topless skydive
Public Wary of Deficit, Economic Intervention
Woman cancels wedding after finding fiancé was porn star