Tag Archives: China

Obama upbeat on Change in Iran, “Missing” Man took Break from Wife, and Girl’s body Dug Up to be “Corpse Bride”

> President Obama concerned but upbeat on Iran
> Man reported missing says wife told him to “go away”
> Five men arrested for exhuming corpse to be “ghost bride”

Inebriated Press
June 18, 2009

Obama: things are looking up in Iran

Obama: things are looking up in Iran

MSNBC reported Tuesday that President Obama is concerned about the election in Iran but sees more “openness” in the country as some voters express dissent.  And The Oregonian reported Monday that a man reported missing by his wife last week was located Saturday. But he says he wasn’t missing — just following his wife’s wishes to go away. Meanwhile the Telegraph reported Monday that five people have been arrested in China for digging up the corpse of a young woman to be a “ghost bride” for a man killed in a car crash. Pundits debate the nature of hope and change as it’s reflected in Iranian dissent, husbands who go away, and the wedded bliss of dead brides.

Someone named Wendy

Someone named Wendy

“The nature of cultural change is one of incremental development, often in an evolutionary sense and occasionally with a predisposition to growth and improvement based on hope and initiative.  This is exemplified in Iran with the careful rioting of the people and the governments thoughtful reaction of shooting them, and shutting down cell phone and Internet communications,” said Wendy Wontyou-Maybee, a nurse and part-time intellectual who believes that multidimensional space is subdivided by cats, but isn’t sure how.  “The ethereal nature of the dead being married to the dead is a spiritual connection and it’s enhanced for the wedding attendees by the actual digging up of the bodies, the sweat, the smell and the general fooling around.  The wandering off of a husband told to go away is also a sort of spiritual response filled with subtle meaning.  Barack Obama senses and understands all these things in a deeper way than mere mortals and that’s why he can speak intellectual teleprompter knowledge that transcends our brain waves to the extent that some people even think he’s absurd and almost stupid.  Barry’s genius exists at levels above the common people.  And no woman will ever tell him to ‘go away,’ because he’s a real hunk.  I say that in a metaphysical sense and with great meaning and nuance.  Nuance is so cool.  Sometimes I like to sit naked in a field and imbibe the ethereal nuance that is life. It’s really great except for the chigger bites.”

Someone named Ursula

Someone named Ursula

Not everyone agrees with Wontyou-Maybee. “This is some twisted shit, let me tell you.  There’s no ‘nature of hope and change’ to talk about here.  Obama and the five Chinese are off the rails, I don’t know about the husband who decided to ‘go away’.  There is lots of nasty stuff behind all three of these issues if we’re open and honest about it,” said Ursula Twice-Plaid, a scuba-diving instructor and part-time post master who values silicon and leather but likes individual freedom and personal responsibility even more.  “I don’t really get into judging other cultures and stuff, but digging up a dead woman to marry a dead guy is morose. The Chinese may have invented fireworks, but this dead marriage thing isn’t one of their highest achievements.  And the culture of Iran isn’t changing because there are some people pissed-off in that country.  They’re always pissed-off.  That’s why the Shah is gone and Islamofascists are running the damn country today.  I’m not saying there aren’t some people who want to change their government and make it more peaceful, but I am saying that some people complaining in a Middle Eastern country is hardly a sea change, let alone a reason for optimism.  I mean come on, think about it.”

click to enlarge

click to enlarge

MSNBC reported that President Barack Obama expressed “deep concerns” about the election in Iran and said the outpouring of political dissent signals more openness in that country. Republican Sen. John McCain urged more forceful condemnation of what he called a “flawed” election. Obama stopped short of saying the re-election of hard-liner Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was rigged. “I do believe that something has happened in Iran,” with Iranians more willing to question the government’s “antagonistic postures” toward the world, Obama said. Obama has said nothing about the declared winner, Ahmadinejad, or the pro-change challenger Mir Hossein Mousavi whose supporters claim the election was stolen. After deadly protests in Tehran on Monday, with demonstrators holding signs that read, “Where Is My Vote,” the clerical regime organized a counter-rally Tuesday. Ahmadinejad traveled to Russia on Tuesday after delaying a trip for a day but did not mention the Iranian election or unrest. Instead, he focused on a traditional target, the United States. “America is enveloped in economic and political crises, and there is no hope for their resolution,” he said through an interpreter. “Allies of the United States are not capable of easing these crises.”

Not missing, just fishing

Not missing, just fishing

The Oregonian reported that a man reported missing by his wife last week was located Saturday. But he says he wasn’t missing — just following his wife’s wishes to go away. William Peterson told police he and his wife had an argument and she told him to get out. So, Peterson spent the week fishing and camping in Bend. His wife, Pam Peterson, said that the argument with her husband happened months ago, and that she forgot about telling her husband he could always leave. Apparently, her husband had not forgotten, she said. Peterson, 53, was reported to have left his home on June 6. Pam Peterson, told police her husband left on an overnight fishing trip without saying where he was going. He had done that before, but when he failed to appear at work she reported him missing.  Cornelius Police Cmdr. Ed Jensen said the search for Peterson involved the U.S. Forest Service, as well as law enforcement officers from Linn, Lane and Marion counties. He estimated that thousands of dollars were spent on the search.

Dying to become a bride?

Dying to become a bride?

The Telegraph reported that five people have been arrested in China for digging up the corpse of a young woman to be a “ghost bride” for a man killed in a car crash. The men were caught after unearthing the remains of a teenage girl who had poisoned herself after failing her university entrance exams last year, a newspaper in Xianyang in China’s Shaanxi province reported. In rural China, superstitious villagers have for centuries sought out the bodies of recently deceased women to be ghost brides for young men who die single. Marriage ceremonies are conducted for the two corpses, and the bride is placed in the same grave as her husband. Last year, a gang in southern China was arrested for strangling young women to sell as ghost brides when the supply of female corpses in their area ran short.

click to enlarge

click to enlarge

In other news, MSNBC reported Tuesday that Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor is defending her membership in an elite all-women’s club, telling senators the group doesn’t discriminate unfairly by gender even though men can’t belong to the club. She said the club “involves men” in many of its activities. No word on why a “wise Latina female” should be subject to such questioning when everyone knows that her very existence makes her more intelligent and more capable than most people, and white men in particular.  But perhaps some Americans are still struggling with the ethereal nature of “hope and change” based discrimination and haven’t adjusted to the finer points the new world Obama is making for us.

(C) 2009 InebriatedPress.com

Source articles:

Obama troubled by Iran but sees change
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31390176/ns/world_news-mideastn_africa/

“Missing” Cornelius man was taking break from his wife
http://www.oregonlive.com/washingtoncounty/index.ssf/2009/06/missing_cornelius_man_was_taki.html

Teenage girl dug up to be ‘corpse bride’
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/china/5541242/Teenage-girl-dug-up-to-be-corpse-bride.html

Sotomayor defends women’s club membership
Judges’ code forbids joining groups that discriminate by sex, race, and religion
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31390593/ns/politics-white_house/

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Beware of: Falling Computers, Bacteria Laced Skin Care Products, and the Obama Administration

> Home Computer Injuries Leap
> FDA warns against using Clarcon skin products
> U.S. Representative tells China not to believe Obama on Budget

Inebriated Press
June 11, 2009

Risky computer behavior

Risky computer behavior

HealthDay News reported on Tuesday that from 1994 to 2006 there has been a 732 percent increase in home computer injuries nationwide.  Research shows that a growing number of people are tripping over cables and getting hit by falling equipment.  And Associated Press reported Monday that the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) is warning consumers not to use skin products made by Clarcon because of high levels of disease-causing bacteria.  Meanwhile, The Straits Times reported Tuesday that Representative Mark Kirk (R-IL) told Chinese leaders that the US budget deficit could be larger than predicted and the budget that the US government has put forward should not be believed.  Inebriated reporters heavily medicated with Jack Daniels, put forth their view of truth and lies.

Someone named Suzi

Someone named Suzi

“Who gives a rats ass what Republicans say about the budget or the FDA says about skin care products or whether computers are falling from the sky.  Life is risky and if you’re going to be alive for a while, you assume some risks of a personal and financial nature, what the hell.  Anyway, you can’t believe most things that politicians and the government say,” said Suzi Blaktape-Mostly, an occasional reporter when wearing clothing and deciding to behave respectable.  “It’s all one big crap shoot and the administration is lying about the budget and the Republicans are telling tales to the Chinese.  So what?  FDA officials are probably getting fewer kickbacks under this administration so they’re squeezing the skin care companies by talking the bacteria thing.  And no computer has fallen from the sky near me.  I think it’s people getting hurt during rough sex that are using computer injury as an excuse because it’s easier to explain.  At least that’s what I do.”

Someone named Rachael

Someone named Rachael

Not everyone sees it like Blaktape-Mostly.  “The Republicans are telling it the way it is, whether that’s to the Chinese or the American people.  The Obama administration is spending trillions with no revenue stream, and that’s a fact.  And the FDA is trying its damndest to stop people from harming themselves with bad products.  It’s what they do and why the agency exists.  As far as computer injuries go, it just makes sense that if there are more PC’s around then the likelihood of people bumping into them or tripping over the cables is just going to increase,” said Rachael Holddmi-Tiet, an occasional columnist when she’s not working iron at Mikes Steel Mill and BBQ Strip Club.  “It’s true that politicians and government officials stretch the truth, but the Obama administration is setting a whole new standard for misdirection and outright falsehood.  I can’t believe that Obama and his minions are so stupid that they believe they can spend trillions of dollars and have a healthy budget and an inflation free economy.  So that means they have to be lying about it.  Of course I admit I still think that logic can prevail and that people aren’t all morons, so I give common sense a chance.  Maybe that’s the flaw in my thinking.”

Beware of killer computers!HealthDay News reported that computers are everywhere in the home these days — the office, the kid’s room, maybe even on the kitchen table. And that, according to new research, has led to more people showing up in emergency rooms with computer-related injuries. That increase has not been slight: From 1994 to 2006, injuries caused by people tripping over computer wires or getting hit by falling equipment rose from about 1,300 a year to 9,300 a year, an increase of 732 percent nationwide. Children under the age of 5 had the highest injury rate. The leading cause of injury for small children, and for adults over 60, was tripping or falling over computer equipment. But while most injuries were to the extremities such as the arms or legs, young children were five times more likely than other age groups to sustain a head injury.

FDA WarningAssociated Press reported that the Food and Drug Administration warned consumers Monday not to use skin products made by Clarcon because of high levels of disease-causing bacteria found during a recent inspection. Clarcon Biological Chemistry Laboratory Inc. of Roy, Utah, issued a voluntary recall of some skin sanitizers and skin protectants marketed under several different brand names, the FDA said in a statement. Consumers should not use any Clarcon products and should throw them away, the FDA said. Analyses of several samples of over-the-counter topical antimicrobial skin sanitizer and skin protectant products revealed high levels of various bacteria, including some associated with unsanitary conditions, according to the agency. Some of these bacteria can cause opportunistic infections of the skin and underlying tissues and could result in medical or surgical attention as well as permanent damage.

Obama budgetThe Straits Times reported that senior Chinese leaders have privately voiced fear over the soaring US budget deficit and are increasingly looking to diversify from the dollar, Representative Mr Mark Kirk said Monday after a trip to China that included talks with government officials and central bank chief Dr Zhou Xiaochuan. Mr Kirk’s assessment differed with that of Treasury Secretary Mr Timothy Geithner, who said last week on a separate visit that Chinese leaders had expressed ‘justifiable confidence’ on the future of the recession-hit US economy. Mr Kirk said that Chinese leaders were sharply critical in private of the US Federal Reserve’s policy of ‘quantitative easing’ – a form of flooding the financial system with cash, which critics deride as printing imaginary money. Government officials estimate a deficit of 1.841 trillion US dollars for the 2009 budget. 

Lying fun!Mr Kirk, a former diplomat who remains an active reservist in the US Navy, is seen as a rising star in the Republican Party and is eyeing a run next year for Mr Obama’s former US Senate seat in Illinois. He said he told the Chinese that the budget deficit could be even bigger than predicted, due in part to the rising costs to the US economy of health care. “One of the messages I had – because we need to build trust and confidence in our number one creditor – is that the budget numbers that the US government has put forward should not be believed,” Mr Kirk said. “Congress is actually going to spend quite a bit more,” he said. China is the largest creditor to the United States with some 700 billion dollars invested in Treasury bonds.

The nest may be empty ...

The nest may be empty ...

In other news, CNN reported Tuesday that parents adjusting to the last of their children leaving home, find that at first they’re depressed, but then couples spend more time with friends, have impromptu dates and more sex. “I absolutely miss my kids,” said Jane Shure, a 54-year-old mother of two from Philadelphia, who officially became an empty nester in August 2007.  “But I’m enjoying a really full life now.” Sara Gorchoff, Ph.D., a postdoctoral researcher at UC Berkeley, says a fall Sunday with the kids can now become a chance to go hiking together; raucous family meals turn into intimate dinners for two. And sex can regain some of the old abandon of the pre-children days.  No word on how ’empty nesters’ feel about Obama’s budget numbers or bacteria laden skin care products, but my guess is that more of them are in emergency rooms claiming to have been injured by computers rather than from having sex with reckless abandon.  But I’m only guessing.  There’ll probably be a stimulus funded study coming out to tell us the facts any day now.  Just as soon as the tattoo removal in L.A. is completed.

(C) 2009 InebriatedPress.com

Source articles:

Computers Causing Injuries in the Home
http://news.yahoo.com/s/hsn/20090609/hl_hsn/computerscausinginjuriesinthehome

FDA warns against using Clarcon skin products
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090609/ap_on_go_ot/us_clarcon_recall

China airs fears: congressman
http://www.straitstimes.com/Overcoming%2BThe%2BStorm/Latest%2BStories/Story/STIStory_387854.html

Sex and other perks of empty nesting
http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/06/09/o.end.empty.nest.syndrome/index.html

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Microsoft puts Porn in Motion, Chinese Laugh at U.S. Treasury Secretary, and Inmate Escapes new “Anti-Prison” on Day One

> Microsoft’s New Search Engine Puts Mouse-Over Motion in Porn Searches
> Chinese Students Burst Out Laughing During Geithner Speech on Strength of US Dollar
> New $45 Million Warm-Fuzzy Prison has Break-Out First Day It’s Open

Inebriated Press
June 4, 2009

Giving the kids what they've been looking for.

Giving the kids what they've been looking for.

Fox News reported on Tuesday that Bing, Microsoft’s new search engine that went live over the weekend, allows anyone — of any age — to mouse over explicit porn videos on a search page and play them without leaving the search engine or going to the actual website.  Internet safety experts say it’s an easy way for kids to beat “nanny software” designed to keep them from viewing Internet porn.  And Reuters reported on Monday that students at Peking University broke into laughter when U.S. Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner told them that all of China’s U.S. dollar and bond investments were safe; and that there is no fear of inflation.  Meanwhile, NBC Washington reported Monday that a new prison called the “New Beginnings Youth Center” is described as an “anti-prison” because it’s not as harsh and rigid as a traditional prison.  In fact it’s so friendly that the first day it was open an inmate escaped.  Pundits are debating the strength of U.S. monetary policy, new user-friendly prisons, and Microsoft’s new pro-porn initiative. 

Someone named Celeste

Someone named Celeste

“It seems to me that living an illusion followed by capitulation on any issue is the political and social trend of this new age. It’s being used extensively by the Obama administration and being emulated in other areas of American life and culture.  Just as the Obama’s Treasury pretends that creating a $12 trillion dollar deficit by printing money hand-over-fist won’t create inflation, and eventually will give in to harsh reality and do anything China tells us to do; so too, we create the illusion of prison security and let inmates escape the first day of operation, and just give in to the power of criminal rights over those of the innocent,” said Celeste Milky-Wayy, a proctologist who would rather be an astronomer, but likes her current wage scale better.  “You can see more evidence of that in Microsoft’s new pro-porn web browser that allows anyone running a web search who turns up a porn video, to view it and listen to it by  merely mousing over the image.  Basically it’s Microsoft’s way of saying ‘what the hell, the kids will view porn anyway, maybe they’ll like us and use more of our products if we enable them’.  I’m sure that the hit count on bing.com went through the roof when kids paused sexting long enough to let their friends all know about the Microsoft’s new web search feature.  Apparently the hope and change that Obama is bringing is capitulation to all of our desires for free cash, no inflation, easy-to access porn and on-demand prison exits.  Looks like only the Chinese know such logic is completely crazy.”

Someone named Janice

Someone named Janice

Not everyone sees it the way Milky-Wayy does.  “President Obama saved our ass after the terrible Bush years that were spent wastefully by protecting us from radical Muslims and other silly crap,” said Janice Janice-Janice, an unemployed bartender who likes things in threes.  “The U.S. is on sound financial footing thanks to massive government spending, and the prison inmates will all behave better if they can leave the facility to see a movie or rob a convenience store from time to time — our country is all about freedom and rights you know.  And kids of any age should be allowed to view porn if they want to, so they learn what they should be doing.  If they don’t learn about this stuff we’ll be wasting all the condoms we’re handing out in elementary school, and the birth control patches we’re giving 11-year-old girls.  Unfettered freedom for children, criminals and the federal government is best for America.  The only other thing we need to do to make sure it all works, is get the conservatives to shut up and bust their ass and provide the goods and services that the rest of us need.  It’s what they like to do anyway, so why not let them?  Better still, MAKE them.  Barack can’t change America if things remain the same.” 

bing.com

bing.com

Fox News reported that your kids may get a bang out of Bing — and that’s not a good thing, Internet safety experts warned on Monday. Bing, Microsoft’s new search engine (www.bing.com), went live in the U.S. this weekend, aiming to challenge and possibly unseat industry titan Google. But bloggers and Internet safety experts quickly discovered that one of Bing’s “features” is that it takes only a few clicks for anyone — of any age — to view explicit pornographic videos without even leaving the search engine. In its bid to beat Google, Microsoft has unveiled a slate of convenient features for Bing, including an “autoplay” tool that lets users preview videos simply by hovering a mouse over them. That asset may become a liability, because users can get a taste of porn videos on Bing instead of having to go to a smutty Web site — an innovation other search engines have yet to offer. Technology blogger Loic Le Meur noticed the issue early Monday after testing video search on Bing. What he found was a cornucopia of pornography that he said transformed the search engine into its very own pornographic Web site. “You are now on a porn site without leaving Bing. Amazing,” Le Meur wrote on his blog.

Geithner: No worries! Trust me ... er ... who's laughing? Everyone?

Geithner: No worries! Trust me ... er ... who's laughing? Everyone?

Reuters reported that U.S. Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner on Monday reassured the Chinese government that its huge holdings of dollar assets are safe and reaffirmed his faith in a strong U.S. currency. A major goal of Geithner’s maiden visit to China as Treasury chief is to allay concerns that Washington’s bulging budget deficit and ultra-loose monetary policy will fan inflation, undermining both the dollar and U.S. bonds. “Chinese assets are very safe,” Geithner said in response to a question after a speech at Peking University, where he studied Chinese as a student in the 1980s. His answer drew loud laughter from his student audience, reflecting skepticism in China about the wisdom of a developing country accumulating a vast stockpile of foreign reserves instead of spending the money to raise living standards at home. China is the biggest foreign owner of U.S. Treasury bonds. U.S. data shows that it held $768 billion in Treasuries as of March, but some analysts believe China’s total U.S. dollar-denominated investments could be twice as high. The Beijing-based Global Times greeted Geithner by publishing a survey of Chinese economists who called big holdings of U.S. debt “risky.” Geithner also offered strong backing for a bigger Chinese role in international policymaking.

New anti-prison, or not, maybe ...

New anti-prison, or not, maybe ...

NBC Washington reported that a youth escaped Saturday from the New Beginnings Youth Center in Laurel, Md. — embarrassing the $45 million juvenile facility that just opened on Friday. The New Beginnings Youth Center in Laurel, Md., was described as an “anti-prison” in many of the warm and fuzzy stories written about it leading up to its opening on Friday. On Saturday the kid escaped by scaling a fence. It appears officials knew that fencing would be a problem, according to the Washington Post. The old Oak Hill facility had razor wire on its fence, but that wasn’t part of the new home. It turned out to be a bad move. A day before the facility opened, Schiraldi and David Muhammad, chief of committed services, said they had brought in young men to try to scale the fences and made modifications based on what they observed. Schiraldi said he planned to place prickly shrubbery, possibly rose bushes, near the fence so inmates would not be tempted to flee. Prickly shrubbery? Something tells us the kids in this facility have seen far worse in their lives than a little prickly shrubbery. So after Saturday’s escape, razor wire was added to the new facility’s fence. So much for the anti-prison.

Must be a mistake, no one can snort this!?

Must be a mistake, no one can snort this!?

In other news, Fox News reported Tuesday that two suitcases carried by a woman who was about to fly from Chile to Spain were virtually made of cocaine, police said. Detective Leandro Morales at the Santiago airport said the drug “was not hidden in the luggage. This time the suitcases were the drug.” The suitcases were made of a substance combining cocaine with resin and glass fiber, Morales told The Associated Press. A “chemical process” could be used to separate out the drug, Morales said, adding that the suitcases were heavier than their contents. The 26-year-old Argentine woman was arrested. No word on how the woman feels about the likelihood of U.S. inflation or mouse-over web porn, but I’ll bet  if she’s sent to lock-down, she’ll happily sign-up for the anti-prison prison.  Unless those prickly rose bushes make her nervous.

(C) 2009 InebriatedPress.com

Source articles:

Microsoft’s New Search Engine Puts Porn in Motion
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,524019,00.html

Chinese students laugh at Geithner’s assurances (about Dollar)
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/2262284/posts

Inmate Escapes Day After “Anti-Prison” Opens
http://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/So-Much-for-the-Anti-Prison.html

Chile Police Discover Suitcases Made of Cocaine
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,524537,00.html

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Filed under Humor, Imbibers' Choice

China attacks Space Shuttle; Pelosi says CIA Lied to Congress; and Boy Scouts train to Fight Terrorists

> Shuttle Atlantis dodges Chinese anti-missile Material
> House Speaker Pelosi says CIA lied to Congress
> Boy Scouts of America training Children to fight Terrorists, combat Border Violence

Inebriated Press
May 18, 2009

Explorer Team, Boy Scouts of America

Explorer Team, Boy Scouts of America

SPACE.com reported last Wednesday that Chinese anti-satellite space junk zoomed past the shuttle Atlantis and the attached Hubble Space Telescope, narrowly missing them. And ABC News reported Thursday that U.S. Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, D-California, accused the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) of lying to Congress about enhanced interrogation techniques.  Meanwhile, The New York Times reported Wednesday that the Boy Scouts of America is training thousands of young people in skills used to confront terrorism, illegal immigration and escalating border violence.  Pundits are debating how best to defend against attacks in space, in Congress and on the US-Mexican border.

Harlequin Romance-Softcover or reasonable facsimile

Harlequin Romance-Softcover or reasonable facsimile

“Last November 52.9% of Americans lost their minds and elected as president a community organizer with no governing or management experience, to lead the USA against terrorism, economic challenges and to work with nations who eye us with both good and bad intent.  Thank god the Boy Scouts have their shit together and are planning to defend the country against increased terrorist attacks, Mexican border violence and Chinese anti-missile space defense.  At least they have training, experience, and know how to take action,” said Harlequin Romance-Softcover, a hot blonde paralegal whose intentions can often be read like a book.  “And as far as Pelosi’s claims that the CIA lied to Congress over enhanced interrogation techniques, here’s how I see it: the CIA is in the business of spying, not lying; while Congress and Pelosi in particular, have turned lying into an art form.  The great trifecta of Obama, Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nevada), are Politian’s whose phrases are steeped in falsehood and innuendo.  I’ll take CIA’s word over theirs any day.  Ask any Boy Scout, they’ll back me up.”

Some guy

Some guy

Not everyone agrees with Romance-Softcover.  “Conservatives are a bunch of Boy-Scout-do-gooders always screwing around — helping old ladies across the street, promoting personal responsibility and self reliance and bullshit like that.  Anyone who knows anything understands that the government is here to take care of us if we just do whatever it says.  And after the Obama Apology Tour of 2009, all nations and peoples now love and respect the US, so there’s no war on terror, no more border problems and China holds so much of our debt that they have to like us,” said Nimm Rodd-Dimm, an Obama government appointee with an undisclosed job description and IQ.  “And of course the CIA lied.  Nancy Pelosi is as solid as the California budget — she is from Berkeley you know — and we can always count on her to tell us what we need to know, when we need to know it, and then explain what it’s supposed to mean.  She doesn’t make all those coast-to-coast air-flights costing hundreds of thousands of dollars, just because she enjoys flying and being a big shot you know.  It’s so she can check out the CIA from the air and keep an eye on them.  She knows about this stuff.  Ask anyone from Code Pink, they’ll back me up.”

Shuttle & Hubble: no Chinese for us please

Shuttle & Hubble: no Chinese for us please

SPACE.com reported that NASA on Wednesday tracked a piece of space junk leftover from a Chinese anti-satellite test in 2007 that zoomed past the shuttle Atlantis and the attached Hubble Space Telescope, which astronauts plucked from orbit earlier in the day. The satellite debris flew about 1.7 miles (2.8 km) ahead and a bit below Atlantis.  The debris was about 492 feet (150 meters) below and just over 2.4 miles (4 km) outside the shuttle’s orbital plane. Earlier Wednesday, they used the shuttle’s robotic arm to grab Hubble and secure it in their cargo bay so it can be upgraded and repaired. Atlantis and Hubble are currently flying about 350 miles (653 km) above Earth in an orbit that has a higher risk of space debris hits, in part because of the Chinese anti-satellite test, in which China intentionally destroyed the weather satellite Fengyun 1C in 2007. The risk of a piece of space junk seriously damaging Atlantis is about a 1-in-229 chance in its current orbit. In the event that the Atlantis suffers a serious strike and cannot return to Earth, NASA has primed the shuttle Endeavour to launch a rescue mission to retrieve the stranded astronauts.

Pelosi

Pelosi

ABC News reported that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., accused CIA briefers on Thursday of lying to her and other lawmakers about the use of enhanced interrogation techniques, such as waterboarding, and said she had only been informed of their use five months later. A report released last week directly contradicted Pelosi’s recollections of the briefing. The Director of National Intelligence’s report indicated that the speaker was in fact briefed about such techniques including waterboarding, an interrogation tactic that simulates drowning. The DNI report said then-House intelligence Chairman Porter Goss, Pelosi — who was the top Democrat on the House intelligence committee — and two aides were told about “the particular EITs that had been employed” on terror suspect Abu Zubaydah.  Pelosi’s remarks that such statements are lies provoked a stern reaction from Republican lawmakers. “It’s outrageous that a member of Congress should call a terror-fighter a liar,” said Sen. Kit Bond, R-Mo., the vice chairman of the Senate intelligence committee. “It seems the playbook is, blame terror-fighters. We ought to be supporting them.”

It's about honor, character, doing what's right

It's about honor, character, doing what's right

The New York Times reported that the Explorers program, a coeducational affiliate of the Boy Scouts of America that began 60 years ago, is training thousands of young people in skills used to confront terrorism, illegal immigration and escalating border violence — an intense ratcheting up of one of the group’s longtime missions to prepare youths for more traditional jobs as police officers and firefighters. “This is about being a true-blooded American guy and girl,” said A. J. Lowenthal, a sheriff’s deputy in Imperial County California, whose life clock, he says, is set around the Explorers events he helps run. “It fits right in with the honor and bravery of the Boy Scouts.”

Explorer training, which leaders say is not intended to be applied outside the simulated Explorer setting, can involve chasing down illegal border crossers as well as more dangerous situations that include facing down terrorists and taking out “active shooters,” like those who bring gunfire and death to college campuses. In a simulation here of a raid on a marijuana field, several Explorers were instructed on how to quiet an obstreperous lookout. “Put him on his face and put a knee in his back,” a Border Patrol agent explained. “I guarantee that he’ll shut up.” Membership in the Explorers has been overseen since 1998 by an affiliate of the Boy Scouts called Learning for Life, which offers 12 career-related programs, including those focused on aviation, medicine and the sciences.

Some people say that a knee in the back is occasionally more important than a pat on the back.

Typical bunch of Inebriated Press columnists at staff meeting

Typical bunch of Inebriated Press columnists at staff meeting

“You can’t coddle terrorists, college campus shooters, border smugglers or liberals on parade,” said an Inebriated columnist, drifting past our table at the Ham Hock and Hollyhock Club on the way to the john.  “You have to kick their ass and bring them down before they do the same to you.  Liberals think they can help the terrorists self esteem by bending over backwards and letting them screw us and our country, and that they’ll like us better then.  That’s bullshit; they don’t care about anyone but themselves, and will screw us over if we let them.  If they’re doing crazy stuff because they’re psychologically messed up, they’re messed up, and nothing we’re going to do will change that.  If they get in our face, we take them down.  It’s not how I want it, but its reality, and we’re all ahead if we see things the way they really are, and do what we have to do. And speaking of that, where’s the damn toilet, I got stuff I need to do and by damn I intend to do it.”

Chinese prostitutes in need of U.S. study

Chinese prostitutes in need of U.S. study

In other news, ChattahBox reported last Wednesday that the United States will be conducting a $2.6 million dollar study in China, in an attempt to teach prostitutes in the area to drink less on the job. The National Institute of Alcohol Abuse (NIAA) believes it is important to stave off the rampant alcoholism that permeates the female sex industry, in an attempt to allow more accountability within a rather dangerous trade. According to the mission statement released by the NIAA, the study proposes “to develop, implement, and evaluate a venue-based alcohol use and HIV risk reduction intervention focusing on both environmental and individual factors among venue-based FSWs (Female Sex Workers) in China.”  No word on why it’s better to cut the U.S. defense budget so we can spend $2.6 million American taxpayer dollars on the drinking habits of Chinese hookers, but then maybe I don’t understand because I’m more like a Boy Scout than a politician, and my appreciation for personal responsibility and self reliance has my value system all messed up.

(C) 2009 InebriatedPress.com

Source articles:

Chinese Space Junk Buzzes Shuttle, Hubble Telescope
http://news.yahoo.com/s/space/20090514/sc_space/chinesespacejunkbuzzesshuttlehubbletelescope

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi: CIA Lied to Me
http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/story?id=7586530&page=1

Scouts Train to Fight Terrorists, and More
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/14/us/14explorers.html?_r=3&hp

US To Pay $2.6 Million For Chinese Prostitution Study
http://chattahbox.com/world/2009/05/13/us-to-pay-26-million-to-chinese-prostitution-study/

United States presidential election, 2008 [Obama=52.9%, McCain=45.7%]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_presidential_election,_2008

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China Demands Citizens Smoke, Van Gogh Lost Ear over Hooker, and McDonald’s Happy Meal Condom Giveaway

> Chinese Government to Fine Citizens if Cigarette Smoking Target not Met
> German Historians Discover Van Gogh’s Ear Cut Off in Fight over Prostitute
> 7-Year-Old Girl Finds Condom in McDonald’s Happy Meal

Inebriated Press
May 6, 2009

Making quota for the good of the State

Making quota for the good of the State

Agence France-Press reported Monday that officials in central China have been told to smoke nearly a quarter million cigarettes this year.  If they fail to meet the target they’ll be fined. And the Daily Mail reported Tuesday that German historians have completed a 10-year study and determined that Van Gogh’s ear was cut off by a friend of his with whom he was having a dispute over a hooker.  Meanwhile, Associated Press reported Monday that police are investigating a 7-year old girl’s discovery of a condom in her McDonald’s Happy Meal.  Pundits are debating the risks and benefits of smoking cigarettes, fighting over hookers and a condom distribution system using Happy Meals.

Some kinda Hapi

Some kinda Hapi

“Any time you can get condoms or other forms of birth control to children at any age, it’s a benefit because it’ll reduce the risk of unwanted pregnancy.  In fact looking over the data on child pregnancy shows that since the news broke of the McDonald Happy Meal Condom Giveaway, 7-year old girls have reported zero pregnancies,” said Hapi Nuttcase, an intellectual giant and part time ACORN executive.  “Now if we can increase smoking in the U.S. it will add tax revenue that we need to help fund other health initiatives.  I’m lobbying cigarette manufacturers now to increase the amount of nicotine in cig’s so that they’re more addictive.  It’s an important key to a strong economy.  As far as loosing an ear over a hooker goes, it depends on how good the hooker is and why the guys couldn’t take turns.  It’s too bad Barack wasn’t there to help them work out a quota system so both artists could routinely get screwed without losing body parts.  Still, it’s to our benefit that he’s here now and is carefully managing the federal government’s screwing process of Americans.  For the first time in my life I’m proud of this country.  I guess I’ve got that in common with Michelle.”

Rhapsody, three times

Rhapsody, three times

Not everyone thinks the way Nuttcase does.  “It’s wrong to tax people for addictive habits, and that’s true whether you’re in China, the U.S. or someplace else.  It’s coercive and immoral.  If what they’re doing is really wrong, then make a law to ban it, otherwise, let them alone,” said Rhapsody Inblu, a sensual musician with classic beauty and uncommon common sense.  “And there isn’t a hooker in the world worth fighting over, no matter their looks or level of experience.  I mean ultimately an orgasm is an orgasm is an orgasm.  I suppose the path to getting there is the deal, but good as that might be, chopping an ear off instead of waiting in line is a bit drastic.  As far as condoms in Happy Meals go, what the hell, we put fluoride in our water.  Next it’ll be Lipitor and Viagra.  We’d have it already if it was up to the drug companies.  I can see a Pfizer-McDonald’s co-branding deal in the future.  And Happy Meal’s for adults with sex toys is probably the follow up.  With a name like ‘Happy Meal’ the possibilities are endless.”

Smoking Babe, or Babe Smoking. You make the call.

Smoking Babe, or Babe Smoking. You make the call.

Agence France-Press reported that officials in a county in central China have been told to smoke nearly a quarter million packs of locally made cigarettes annually or risk being fined, state media reports. The Gong’an county government in Hubei province has ordered its staff to puff their way through 230,000 packs of Hubei-produced cigarette brands a year. Departments that fail to meet their targets will be fined, according to the report. “The regulation will boost the local economy via the cigarette tax,” said Chen Nianzu, a member of the Gong’an cigarette market supervision team. China has 350 million smokers, of whom a million die of smoking-related diseases every year. More than half of all male doctors in China smoke.

Worth cutting an ear off over?

Worth cutting an ear off over?

The Daily Mail reported that history has always painted Vincent Van Gogh as the artist who cut off his ear. But according to researchers, history might have got the wrong man. They believe that, in fact, it was Paul Gauguin, an artist of almost equal renown, who cut off his friend’s ear. And the injury wasn’t inflicted for the sake of art – rather it was part of a feud over a prostitute. This theory is the masterpiece of German historians who have pored over the evidence for ten years. They believe the story about the self-inflicted wound was invented by the sword-wielding Gauguin just to protect himself. What is not disputed is that Van Gogh lost his ear when the two artists were living in the South of France in December 1888. The two were known to fight about art. Van Gogh believed an artist should paint what he saw, while Gauguin painted according to his memory. But on this occasion, they were fighting over a prostitute named Rachel, outside the brothel where she worked, the historians say. The academics say the accepted theory that Van Gogh cut off his own ear is based entirely on Gauguin’s story. Van Gogh never talked about it.

Fast food, fast sex ... now in child sized portions

Fast food, fast sex ... now in child sized portions

Associated Press reported that Swiss police said they are investigating a 7-year-old girl’s discovery of a condom in her McDonald’s Happy Meal. Fribourg state police said the mother called them after the girl discovered the condom among her French fries. Police said Monday they were investigating where the condom came from and how it got into the Happy Meal. They said an analysis was being done to determine if the condom posed a health risk. McDonald’s in Switzerland declined to comment because of the ongoing investigation.

Some say all-the-world’s a screwed up Happy Meal.

Nymph pausing in the cascade of time

Nymph pausing in the cascade of time

“There are so many sensual possibilities — involving taste, touch, sight, sound and smell — on the earth; not to mention the ‘great ideas’ of love, freedom, justice, beauty and truth.  Add to that exploration, science and philosophy, plus historical knowledge on civics and government learned through cause and effect.  And we have the resources, data and knowledge to create utopia, but look at the bullshit humankind has wrought,” said a playful nymph in an un-playful moment during a pause in the cascade of time.  “We have the stuff that dreams are made of, and instead of creating the dream we divine a nightmare — with dirty condoms in our Happy Meals, Socialists in the White House, and taxes on addictive and non-addictive habits.  Missing too, are the days when men would cut each other’s ears off over great sex.  Ah yes, we’ve even lost the pleasures of a simpler time.”

Googles' GoatIn other news, FOX reported Monday that last week Google brought in a herd of goats to mow the grass on its Mountain View, Calif. headquarters rather than using lawnmowers. The company said that it wanted to take a more “low-carbon” approach with the goats reducing the company’s contribution to air and noise pollution. The cost of hiring the 200-some goats is about the same price as mowing, but the goats were “a lot cuter to watch.” Turns out another tech company uses goat power to mow its property, Yahoo has also employed goats to graze their grounds.  No word on whether Google and Yahoo executives have been cutting each other’s ears off as they compete for the goats attention.  ‘Nuf said.  Eat your Happy Meal.  Spit out the rubbery stuff.

(C) 2009 InebriatedPress.com

Source articles:

China’s ultimatum: smoke or be fined
http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574,25426774-13762,00.html
 
The battle of Van Gogh’s ear: Artist didn’t chop it off – Gauguin attacked him in brothel row over woman
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1177205/The-battle-Van-Goghs-ear-Artist-didnt-chop–Gauguin-attacked-brothel-row-woman.html

Girl allegedly finds condom in ‘Happy Meal’
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30561605/

Google Goes Green With Goats
http://www.myfoxdc.com/dpp/dpg_original/dpgo_Google_Goats_Green_fc_20090504_2460969

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Black Car Ban, Hi-Tech Death Van, and the ‘Boob-Job Bandit’

> California plan may kill black cars
> China kills people in vans, harvests organs
> Boob Job Bandit get’s “Busted”

Inebriated Press
April 3, 2009

Boob JobMercury News reported last week that California is considering requiring automakers to use more reflective paint in an effort to battle global warming.  Car companies say this means the color black may end up banned in the state.  And the Daily Mail reported last week that China is using numerous “death van’s” to carry out executions around the country, and high-tech equipment preserves the victim’s organs for sale on the black market.  Meanwhile, the Metro reported earlier this week that a 30-year-old blonde who stole £8,000 worth of cosmetic surgery procedures was finally busted by police in California. Pundits are debating the benefits of fake boobs, organ traffiking and banning the color black.

Saving the world through distraction.

Saving the world through distraction.

“The only real way to save the world from the dangers of global warming and flat-chested women, is to ban all dark colors and harvest the organs of people we don’t like and sell them to fund breast implants,” said Hu Yu-Kiddn, an unemployed philosopher and fruitopian, currently Al Gore’s biggest fan.  “Most of the problems we will face in the future will be due to the end of the ice age and the decline in the size of women’s breasts in the industrialized countries. If we will detonate nuclear devises in earth’s atmosphere in such a way that the sun is blocked out, we may be able to save the earth by returning it to the ice age when humankind didn’t exist.  Lacking that, it’s important that the size of women’s breasts expand so we can keep our minds off our problems.  It may seem like a small thing, but let’s face it, the fate of the planet hangs in the balance.”

"The Power of Silicon"

"The Power of Silicon"

Not everyone buys what Yu-Kiddn is selling.  “I won’t argue about the benefits of breast size, because I control most men within the tri-state area since I bumped my knockers up to double-D’s, but blocking out the sun to save the earth is completely nuts,” said Alicia Ann Maidrite, a buxom blond rocket scientist and part-time hooker, whose book ‘The Power of Silicon’ has been translated into 50 languages.  “And whether it’s okay to harvest organs in the back of vans for sale in the black market, I’m not sure.  I’ve done shit in the backs of vans of questionable legality involving human organs and selling a service, but I didn’t actually chop off any organs, at least not most of the time.”

Black and dangerous

Black and dangerous

Mecury News reported that California’s Air Resources Board (ARB) has been mulling the relationship between automobile color and greenhouse gases.  This started a rumor that California was about to ban cars painted black. The board considered requiring reflective car paints and windshields. The premise was that a cooler car would require a driver to use less air conditioning, which would require less gasoline, which would mean fewer greenhouse-gas emissions. Several groups, including the Alliance of Automobile Manufacturers, which lobbies for the big automakers, complained that a draft proposal to change the car-painting process to make vehicles more reflective would “eliminate a significant number of vehicle colors” because darker colors absorb more heat. Even the ARB itself, in a PowerPoint presentation on the paint proposal, stated, “Jet black remains an issue,” though it never said the color should be banned. The board will vote at its June meeting on making car windshields and other glass surfaces more reflective. The new regulations would add up to $50 to the price of new car. 

About to lose his parts.

About to lose his parts.

The Daily Mail reported that after trials of a mobile execution service were launched quietly three years ago – then hushed up to prevent an international row about the abuse of human rights before the Olympics last summer – these vehicles are now being deployed across China. The number of executions is expected to rise to a staggering 10,000 people this year (not an impossible figure given that at least 68 crimes – including tax evasion and fraud – are punishable by death in China). According to undercover investigations by human rights’ groups, the police, judiciary and doctors are all involved in making millions from China’s huge trade in human body parts.

Developed by Jinguan Auto, which also makes bullet-proof limousines for the new rich in this vast country of 1.3 billion people, the vans appear unremarkable. They cost £60,000, can reach top speeds of 80mph and look like a police vehicle on patrol. Inside, however, the ‘death vans’ look more like operating theatres. Inside each ‘death van’ there is a dedicated team of doctors to ‘harvest’ the organs of the deceased. The injections leave the body intact and in pristine condition for such lucrative work. After checking that the victim is dead, the medical team first remove the eyes. Then, wearing surgical gowns and masks, they remove the kidney, liver, pancreas and lungs. Little goes to waste, though the heart cannot be used, having been poisoned by the drugs. The bodies cannot be examined. Corpses are driven to a crematorium and burned before independent witnesses can view them.

Historical precedent means it’s okay.

Historical precedent means it’s okay.

The Nazis used adapted vans as mobile gas chambers from 1940 until the end of World War II. With the ‘cargo’ dead, all that remained was for gold fillings to be hacked from the victims’ mouths, before the bodies were tipped into the graves. Now, six decades later, just like the Nazis, China insists these death vans are ‘progress’. The vans save money on building execution facilities in prisons or courts.

Arrested development

Arrested development

The Metro reported that a serial ‘Boob-Job Bandit’ has surrendered in court after being caught stealing cosmetic surgery procedures totaling more than £8,000. The 30-year-old blonde was tracked down by police using a serial number on her removed breast implants. Yvonne Jean Pampellonne allegedly replaced her breast implants and received liposuction at a clinic in California using a false identity to pay for the operations. She reportedly had the procedures but failed to show up to any follow up appointments. Her old breast implants were crucial to the investigation, meaning a surgeon at the Pacific Center For Plastic Surgery could track down her real identity from her previous surgeon. The boob-job thief will face court in Orange County, Southern California in May on charges of commercial burglary, grand theft and identity theft.

Bad build, bad sex

Bad build, bad sex

In other news, Reuters reported this week that obese men who undergo gastric bypass surgery will not only lose weight; their sex lives are likely to improve, too, new research shows. Dr. Ahmad Hammoud of the University of Utah in Salt Lake City, who led the study said obesity in men has been linked to low testosterone levels, high levels of estrogen, impaired fertility, and worse sexual quality of life. In the study Hammound found that two years after the men who’d had weight loss surgery had dropped an average of nearly 17 points from their BMI. Their estrogen levels had fallen significantly, while their testosterone levels had gone up. And all showed improvements on each of the four measures of sexual quality of life the researchers looked at: they were less likely to avoid sexual encounters, have difficulty with sexual performance, have little sexual desire, or report not enjoying sex.  No word on how they feel about organ traffiking, stolen boobs or the return of the ice age, but at least they’re having fun now.  And for many people, now is what it’s all about.

(C) 2009 InebriatedPress.com

Source articles:

Bunch of hot air? California isn’t banning black cars
http://www.mercurynews.com/ci_12013592?source=most_emailed

China’s hi-tech ‘death van’ where criminals are executed and then their organs are sold on black market
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1165416/Chinas-hi-tech-death-van-criminals-executed-organs-sold-black-market.html?ITO=1490

‘Boob-Job Bandit’ steals breast implants
http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?Boob-Job_Bandit_steals_breast_implants&in_article_id=596384&in_page_id=2

Weight loss enhances obese men’s sexual well-being
http://www.canada.com/health/sexual-health/Weight+loss+enhances+obese+sexual+well+being/1385709/story.html

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Radioactive Chinese Balls; Russian Arctic Military Force; and, Drug Tests for Welfare Recipients

> Chinese Search for Missing Caesium-137 Ball
> Russia plans to create Arctic military force
> States consider drug tests for welfare recipients

Inebriated Press
April 1, 2009

Chinese BallBBC News reported last week that Chinese officials are hopeful that they’ve found a missing ball of deadly radioactive material that was lost when workers at a cement plant demolished an old factory. And Breitbart reported that Russia is planning to create a dedicated military force to protect its interests in the Arctic.  Meanwhile, Associated Press reported that lawmakers in at least eight states want recipients of food stamps, unemployment benefits or welfare to submit to random drug testing.  Some unemployed pundits say rules on welfare should be relaxed, the U.S. should give Russia whatever they want, and at certain times each month their balls may be radioactive if not Chinese.

Harold, or a reasonable facsimile

Harold, or a reasonable facsimile

“I was up all night drinking and thinking about the need for Obama to enlarge the stimulus package so I can get plenty of cash and have my balls tested for radioactivity,” said Harold Izad-Azwipe, an occasional writer of irrelevance and intrigue, whose missive ‘Chinese Dogs and Barking Acrobats’ is required reading by the Russian Arctic Totalitarian Security Team (RATS-Team).  “You can’t be too careful about stuff like that, what with the Chinese losing their radioactive balls and Russians planning to conquer the Arctic.  And this crap about drug testing the unemployed just isn’t fair.  How we blow our welfare money is our own business.  Let the government control private sector salaries and bonuses and leave us government dependents alone.  We give the Obama administration power you know, the least they can do is let us blow taxpayer cash the way we feel like.”

Someone named Anne

Someone named Anne

Not everyone thinks like Izad-Azwipe.  “The Russians have no more claim on the Arctic than Canada or the U.S., and if the Chinese collect enough radioactive material and have the balls, they’ll take the Arctic and no one will be able to stop them,” said Anne Maine-Monolith, a restaurateur, provocateur and downright hot piece of womanhood.  “People had better watch those crazy Russians though; they’re always up to something.  I’m not sure if the Chinese have radioactive balls or not, but some of them walk kind of funny.  Maybe that’s just some drugs talking, good thing I run my own business and aren’t subject to drug tests.  Ha.”

BBC News reported last Friday that Chinese officials say that potentially deadly radioactive material lost in north-western Shaanxi province may have been found at a steel mill. Officials told the BBC that they had detected what may be the missing Caesium-137, adding that it may have been melted down. The Caesium-137, encased in lead, was lost this week when workers at a cement plant demolished an old factory. The material was part of a measuring instrument and is extremely dangerous. Caesium-137 is a radioactive isotope, formed mainly through nuclear fission. The smallest amount can cause infertility, cancer and even death. The BBC’s Quentin Sommerville in Beijing says China has an appalling record on industrial safety – there are around 30 cases of radioactive material being lost every year.

Russian SoldiersBreitbart reported Friday that Russia is planning to create a dedicated military force to help protect its interests in the disputed Arctic region. The presidential Security Council has released a document outlining government policy for the Arctic that includes creating a special group of military forces. The report was released this week and reported by Russian media on Friday. Russia, the United States, Canada and other northern countries are trying to assert jurisdiction over the Arctic. The dispute has intensified amid growing evidence that the shrinking polar ice is opening up new shipping lanes and allowing natural resources to be tapped.

Another gratuitous Anne pic

Another gratuitous Anne pic

Associated Press reported Thursday that Lawmakers in at least eight states want recipients of food stamps, unemployment benefits or welfare to submit to random drug testing. The effort comes as more Americans turn to these safety nets to ride out the recession. Poverty and civil liberties advocates fear the strategy could backfire, discouraging some people from seeking financial aid and making already desperate situations worse. Those in favor of the drug tests say they are motivated out of a concern for their constituents’ health and ability to put themselves on more solid financial footing once the economy rebounds. But proponents concede they also want to send a message: you don’t get something for nothing.

Nine out of ten Obama supporters say they want something for nothing, and most guys interviewed said they want chicks for free.

Russian chicks for free?

Russian chicks for free?

“I want something for nothing, chicks for free, and naturally for the government to pay for my MTV,” said Blu Dong-Wan, an unemployed half-wit that just missed being appointed U.S. Attorney General by President Obama, and would have been if he’d had more consonants in his name.  “The Russians can have the Arctic if they want it, and the Chinese can have as many balls between their legs as radioactivity will generate.  What do I care?  I’m part of the new America.  Give Barack a couple more years and everyone will be like me.  I’m the leading edge baby: the new citizen.”

Edd, the New Citizen

Edd, the New Citizen

In other news, Scripps Interactive reported Friday that a man accused of pouring chili on his girlfriend and ripping off her bra following an argument involving television watching is facing charges, according to a Martin County Florida Sheriff’s Office report released Friday. The 26-year-old victim told investigators her boyfriend, with whom she has two children and is nine weeks pregnant, came home Thursday evening and wanted to watch TV in their bedroom. She asked him to watch TV in the other room.  At that point, “Edd … grabbed at (the victim’s) bra which tore off of her,” the report states. “Edd then poured … chili … on (the victim)”.  No word on how Edd feels about the Russians or Chinese, but he probably believes he’s on America’s leading edge: the new citizen.  God help us all.

(C) 2009 InebriatedPress.com

Source articles:

Chinese ‘find’ radioactive ball
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7967285.stm
 
Russia plans to create Arctic military force
http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D976C8E01&show_article=1

States consider drug tests for welfare recipients
http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/S/STATES_WELFARE_WITH_STRINGS?SITE=WBBMAM&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT

Stuart man accused of pouring chili on girlfriend during argument
http://www.tcpalm.com/news/2009/mar/27/stuart-man-accused-pouring-chili-girlfriend-during/

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China marries Iran, Saudi’s say 10-year-old girls should marry, and there’s a new St. Pauli Girl for beer drinkers to lust after

> Report: Iran signs oil deal with China
> Saudi cleric: it’s an injustice to NOT marry girls aged 10
> Breaking news: A new St. Pauli Girl has been chosen!

Inebriated Press
January 21, 2009

St. Pauli Girl Van Derham

St. Pauli Girl Van Derham

Breitbart reported last week that Iran and China signed a $2 billion agreement that allows Chinese development of an Iranian oil field. The two countries did a similar deal in December 2007, and despite U.S. concerns, their commitment to one another continues to grow.  And Mail Online reported last week that Saudi Arabia’s most senior cleric said 10-year-old girls are ready for marriage, and people who say they’re too young are being “unfair” to them. Meanwhile, BrandFreak reported last week that German beer company St. Pauli Girl, has selected Slovakian model Katarina Van Derham, to appear as their faux German barmaid in future promotions. The quest for oil, beer and fine women — of all ages — rolls on like the timeless traditions of communist-dictatorships, drinking and underaged sex. 

“There’s no stopping Communists and Islamofascists from hooking up for mutual benefit, or slowing Muslim men from marrying baby girls or blowing themselves or others to bits,” said Misty Mae-Morningside, a barmaid and holder of the ‘2009 Beer Babe’ title down at the Shady Hollow Stripper Bar and Welding Helmet Lounge.  “I don’t know whether it’s in their DNA or part of the Middle Eastern education system, but screwing helpless girls and blowing up innocent women in the marketplace is like a damned tradition over there. The Chinese just need the oil so they don’t give a shit one way or another.  As far as the new Pauli Girl goes, she’s hot, but hasn’t got nothin’ on me.”

Wife to-be of 50-year-old Guy

Wife to-be of 50-year-old Guy

Some people say there are traditions that should end.  “Marrying-off 10-year-old Saudi girls or giving birth control patches to 11-year-old U.S. children at King Middle School in Maine, is as wrong as Communists and Islamofascists working together to strengthen themselves against the free West,” said Mabel Matron-Ironside, a shopkeeper and pro-establishment Virginian, whose only regret in life is that the South didn’t win the U.S. Civil War.  “Just because you call underage marriage a tradition doesn’t make it right, and just because you believe in sexual freedom that doesn’t mean you should slap chemical patches on school children so they avoid pregnancy but inherit a bunch of drug related side-effects.  Doesn’t anyone think through this stuff?  I’m not sure whose fault it is, but I’m guessing it’s those damn Yankees up North.  Son’s of bitches.”

090121_iran_oilBreitbart reported that Iran’s official news agency says the country has signed a $1.76 billion deal with China to develop the North Azadegan oil field in southwestern Iran near the Iraq border. The IRNA report says the deal was signed between the National Iranian Oil Company and the China National Petroleum Corp. Iran’s Oil Minister Gholam Hossein Nozari says the field has an estimated 6 billion barrels of crude oil and will produce 75,000 barrels of oil per day for 25 years. In December 2007, China’s biggest refiner, Sinopec, signed a $2 billion agreement with Iran to develop another Iranian oil field, the Yadavaran. The deals illustrate China’s strong business ties with Iran despite U.S. pressure over the Iranian nuclear program.

Sheikh Abdul-Aziz Al Sheikh

Sheikh Abdul-Aziz Al Sheikh

The UK Mail Online reported that ten-year-old girls are ready for marriage, according to Saudi Arabia’s most senior cleric. Sheikh Abdul-Aziz Al Sheikh, the country’s grand mufti, told Al Hayat newspaper that those saying ten or 12-year-old girls are too young to marry are being ‘unfair’ to them. Al Sheikh’s comments come at a time when Saudi human rights groups have been pushing the government to put an end to marriages involving the very young and to define a minimum age for marriage. In the past few months, Saudi newspapers have highlighted several cases in which young girls were married off to much older men or very young boys.

The report followed a ruling by a court in Oneiza in central Saudi Arabia last month that dismissed a divorce petition by the mother of an eight-year-old girl whose father married her off to a man in his 50s. Newspaper reports said the court argued that the mother did not have the right to file such a case on behalf of her daughter and said that the petition should be filed by the girl when she reaches puberty. There are no statistics to show how many marriages involving children are performed in Saudi Arabia every year.

Van Derham

Van Derham

BrandFreak reported that continuing a 26-year tradition of finding stunning women who look great in German barmaid’s attire to represent its signature beer, St. Pauli Girl has selected Katarina Van Derham as its new bar wench for 2009. The Slovakian model’s selection is unique in that the beer brand partnered with Maxim.com for an online vote. Her bio states: “Van Derham grew up in a small village in the woods of Slovakia, a communist country at the time. She moved to the United States at age 22, without any intention of becoming a model.” Van Derham has already appeared in ad campaigns for AT&T, Dodge and the Rockstar Energy Drink. In regards to her new role as a faux German barmaid, she says, “I am very honored and look forward to meeting St. Pauli Girl fans all over the country.”

Some people say that as long as you have fans you can do whatever you want.

St. Pauli Girl

St. Pauli Girl

“Let’s face it, success is driven by popularity. Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is popular with Jew haters, the Chinese are popular with Iran’s government because they need cash and political support, young girls are popular with old men and St. Pauli girl is popular with men of all ages.  It’s popularity that gives you money, power and freedom — unless you’re a Muslim girl of course — then you’re just screwed,” said Strawberry Dackari, a sweet tasting drink that will nonetheless leave you heaving and with a hangover if you imbibe too much.  “I may be nothing more than the figment of your imagination or a combination of alcohol, sugar and fruit, but I know about popularity.  It got an unknown community organizer elected to the most powerful position in the world.  Brand Obama will rule the globe and he can do whatever he wants. I’ll bet St. Pauli Girl is his if he wants her.  I wonder what he really does want … I mean besides power? I suppose time will tell.  It usually does.”

090121-google-apps

St. Google Girl?

In other news, the Cincinnati Enquirer reported last week that in the Cincinnati area, where legend holds that trends come 10 years late, “sexting” arrived well ahead of time. Teens there are taking nude photos of themselves or others, sending them on their cell phones or posting them online. Some teens do it as a joke. For others, it’s the new bold pickup line to get a date. A year ago, a 19-year-old Goshen cheerleading coach was charged and prosecuted for a misdemeanor, contributing to the unruliness of a child, for taking a topless photo of herself and a 15-year-old girl. A Glen Este Middle School boy was taken to juvenile court during the last school year for taking explicit photos of his girlfriend. “It’s ‘Kids Gone Wild,’ with technology being provided by the parents,” according to Jim Brown, school resource officer at Glen Este High School. No word on how Saudi clerics feel about this, but since these incidents involve girls older than 10 and the issue isn’t marriage to 50 year-old men, it’s kind of hard to decide which society the suicide bombers should attack.

(C) 2009 InebriatedPress.com

Source articles:

Report: Iran signs oil deal with China
http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D95N2SAO0&show_article=1

It’s an injustice to NOT marry girls aged 10, says Saudi cleric
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1115624/Its-injustice-NOT-marry-girls-aged-10-says-Saudi-cleric.html

Important breaking news: A new St. Pauli Girl has been chosen!
http://www.brandfreak.com/2009/01/important-breaking-news-a-new-st-pauli-girl-has-been-chosen.html

Maine Middle School May Drug 11 Year Old Girls with Birth Control Patches
http://www.naturalnews.com/022934.html

Teens bare all on phones
http://news.cincinnati.com/article/20090113/NEWS0102/901130326

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Rigging Miss Asia, the Return of Chest Hair, and Heart Found at Car Wash

> Hong Kong rigs beauty contest to assure winner
> Hairy male chests get popular with women
> Human-sized heart found at car wash

Inebriated Press
December 23, 2008

Miss Asia or not

Miss Asia or not

Times Online reported last week that Hong Kong’s Asia Television (ATV) admitted that it had falsified viewer voting figures in a beauty contest so a 23-year-old Hong Kong student named Eunis Yao would win.  Hong Kong has been slowly transitioning into China’s fold, and the rigging of elections is seen as an important step in it’s progress.  Meanwhile, The Daily Beast reported that after many years of hairless male chests being the most popular, hairy-chests are making a comeback.  All this plus the finding of a human-sized heart making a surprise appearance at a carwash, are in the news and stirring the wonder of the holiday season into a steamy broth that smells kind of funny.

“I lost my heart at a car wash once when there was this girl named Wendy who used to dry off the cars wearing a wet T-shirt,” said an Inebriated reporter having a flash-back and getting drool on his notebook.  “She was a real hotty and could have won a Hong Kong beauty pageant without cheating.  I asked her out on a date but she was ahead of her time and wouldn’t go out with me because my chest was smooth and hairless.  If only I could have foretold the future that day, I could have glued some fur on.”

Hugh Jackman with chest

Hugh Jackman with chest

Not everyone has lost their heart, rigged an election or bemoaned the lack of chest hair.  “A guy can be hairy or hairless and if they’re smart, funny and nice to me, I’ll go out with them,” said Missy-Mae Hartt-Throbb, a bastion of femininity and human perfection, who hides it behind a blue Wal-Mart vest down at the store six days a week.  “I used to work at the Heavy Petting Cougar Cage, a strip club and plumbing supply store, but guys kept pretending they were giving me their heart when all they really wanted was a piece of my ass.  I got tired of it after a while and traded it for work at a department store.  I still get some of the same action but I can dress warmer.”

Burt Reynolds and chest admirer

Burt Reynolds and chest admirer

The Times Online reported that Hong Kong, central to China’s slow transition from dictatorship to democracy, has become the scene of a scandal about that most modern of democratic institutions: the television viewer poll. Last week an executive of Asia Television (ATV) admitted that his channel had falsified viewer voting figures in the beauty contest. The Miss Asia pageant was won by a 23-year-old Hong Kong student named Eunis Yao after votes were counted from mobile telephone text messages and the internet – but it has since emerged that she was not, in fact, the true choice of the people. They did not disclose who the real winner had been, but the nationality of the second and third-placed competitors provides fuel for speculation: could the vote fixing reflect official pressure to follow up China’s spectacular summer Olympic successes by crowning a Chinese beauty as the winner?

Jesse Klein, ponderer of hairy chests

Jesse Klein, ponderer of hairy chests

The Daily Beast reported that the real signifier of masculinity lies in chest hair. And it’s making a comeback. According to writer Jessi Klein, after many years of drought, chest hair has returned with a vengeance as the sign of sex appeal and virility. Mad Men star Jon Hamm (aka Don Draper) is entertainment’s tall drink of testosterone du jour. Clive Owen, the brooding, British Sin City hunk has unabashedly displayed his sexily untamed man fur. Aussie Hugh Jackman (the newly anointed Oscar host and People‘s latest “Sexiest Man Alive” pick) is only a hair or two behind his X-Men alter-ego Wolverine, and he is all the hotter for it. Klein wrote that when she meets a guy for the first time, she has no problem with his eyes wandering south for a second to check out her rack—that’s when she steals a glance at the little slip of landscape peeking out from the collar of his shirt. Is it heavily forested, gently grassy, or just a desert-like stretch of flesh, with nary a hair in sight to provide shade?

Harrison Ford displays heart

Harrison Ford displays heart

MSNBC reported that a human-sized heart found at a southwestern Michigan car wash has investigators wondering whether it came from a person or an animal. The organ was discovered in a corner of a manual wash bay at Soapy’s Car Wash, Paw Paw police said. The owner of the business found it Monday on the floor of the bay. Police first took the heart to an animal clinic, where a veterinarian was unable to determine its origin. The next stop was a local cardiologist, who said that while it was “consistent in size to a human heart,” he could not make a conclusive determination as to its source, said police Chief Patrick W. Alspaugh. The chief took the organ to Lansing’s Sparrow Hospital, where forensic scientists were to examine it. “If it’s a human heart, that prompts the question, ‘Then where’s the body?'” asked Alspaugh.  

Some people say that it takes a lot of heart to get along in today’s world.

Tom Selleck, just because

Tom Selleck, just because

“Times are tough for a lot of people and it isn’t always easy to be cheerful, raise your kids to show respect and have common sense, and keep beauty contests and elections fair,” said John Bush, a hairy chested contractor and family man, often ignored by politicians unless they need more of his income in taxes.  “But it’s important that we keep standing up for our values, working hard and even play hard once in a while.  That’s the kind of stuff that built this country and made America the freest and strongest nation in the world, and provided the most opportunity to the most people in history. I don’t like some things going on today, but I’m going to keep working hard and stand up for what I believe in.  I’m an American.  And that’s what American’s do.”

In other news, Gizmodo reported that the USB Group recently announced a new USB drive that saves data and tells the future.

Fortune telling USB drive

Fortune telling USB drive

The drive contains a little floating “stars say yes” and “stars say no” predictor of the future — kind of like the old 8-Ball toy globe.  So now you can back up your files and ask your drive if the Chinese girl will win the beauty contest and if your date will have chest hair.  No word on whether anyone really cares what it says, but what the heck, it is Christmas time and we should all have a little fun — even if it’s just silliness being spouted by Inebriated Press or sold by the USB Group.

(C) 2008 InebriatedPress.com

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Institutionalizing Chinese Muckrakers, Oprah at 200, and Assisted Suicide Television

> Trouble-making Chinese citizens are dispatched to mental institutions
> Oprah Winfrey says she weighs 200 pounds
> Assisted suicide to be shown on television for first time

Inebriated Press
December 11, 2008

Ms. Fear of Working Out

Ms. Fear of Working Out

The New York Times reported Monday that Chinese officials have found a cost-effective way of dealing with whistle-blowers and other annoying citizens: ship them to the nearest psychiatric hospital for a two year stint and forcibly medicate them. And the Baker City Herald reported Tuesday that Oprah Winfrey says she has a “fear of working out” and has “fallen off the wagon” and gained 40 pounds, toping out at 200. Meanwhile the U.K. Telegraph reported yesterday, that British television is going to broadcast the death of a man committing assisted suicide at a Swiss euthanasia clinic.  Pundits are debating the societal benefits of drugging complainers, abandoning healthy diet and exercise, and made-for-TV death.

“We’re now living in an era where all things are relative and can be redefined every fifteen minutes.  That means that everything has entertainment possibilities, but dissent by citizens claiming common sense is no longer acceptable.  People who try to behave normally — in the 1980’s sense of the word — stress out and end up abandoning diet and exercise and balloon into walruses.  The smart people are flexible and use these times as opportunities for change — like Barack Obama,” said Missy Moore-Mayhem, a fashionable healthcare worker, whose rebuilt body and mind contain traces of her past, but is mostly modern, fresh and untouched by common-place reality. 

Ms. Moore-Mayhem

Ms. Moore-Mayhem

“What Barack does and says at any one moment often contradicts with what he’s done and said in the past — even as recent as last week.  This confuses old traditionalists, and even supporters like Oprah Winfrey.  It’s important that going forward everyone just trusts him to do whatever he wants at any one moment.  The idea that consistency has value is dead now. It’s one of the first things Barack is formally changing in America.  The Chinese understand this modern concept and have had to institutionalize people who don’t get it.  And the Brit’s are gaining an understanding by not fearing suicide, and are using the Swiss death-program for entertainment.  The U.S. is a bit backward, but with Obama leading the way we’re gaining on the enlightened Chinese Communists and Western Socialist Europeans by leaps and bounds.”

Not everyone sees it the way Moore-Mayhem does.  “Locking-up whistle-blowers in nut houses who were trying to do good, and forcing medication into them is wrong.  And it may be okay to debate the issue of assisted suicide, but filming it and presenting it on television for entertainment backed by sponsorship advertising is twisted — what do you sell, a new pistol that fits in your mouth comfortably or an oven that leaks gas on purpose,” asked Stacy Comb-Carmichael, an organic food store owner and alfalfa grower, who remains stuck on old-fashioned food and ethics.  “We have to fight for what we believe in and what we want.  We have to champion the Chinese dissidents and corporate whistle-blowers, we have to diet and exercise in an ongoing effort to stay strong and healthy, and we have to stop ‘reality television’ of all kinds because it’s the most twisted kind of ‘reality’ of all.  Fight to cure disease and don’t fight to kill and sensationalize those who want to bail out of the battle.  Life can be hard.  But it is still good if we’ll fight for the best of it.  Common sense is still alive.  We have to act like it and not sit around bemoaning the trends.  Edmund Burke said, ‘The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.’ Some of this stuff is evil and we’re not doing anything.”

Agent of Change

Agent of Change

The New York Times reported that local officials in Shandong Province have apparently found a cost-effective way to deal with gadflies, whistle-blowers and all manner of muckraking citizens who dare to challenge the authorities: dispatch them to the local psychiatric hospital. In an investigative report published Monday by a state-owned newspaper, public security officials in the city of Xintai in Shandong Province were said to have been institutionalizing residents who persist in their personal campaigns to expose corruption or the unfair seizure of their property. Some people said they were committed for up to two years, and several of those interviewed said they were forcibly medicated. The article, in The Beijing News, said most inmates were released after they agreed to give up their causes.

The Baker City Herald reported that an embarrassed Oprah Winfrey says she’s “fallen off the wagon” of healthy living and has ballooned to 200 pounds. In January’s “O” magazine, Winfrey, 54, details her recent struggles with an out-of-balance thyroid and how the condition made her develop “a fear of working out.” She says she’s gained 40 pounds since 2006, when she weighed 160. Winfrey’s weight and height put her body mass index at 31.8, which is obese, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The CDC says people who are obese are at higher risk for chronic conditions such as high blood pressure, diabetes and high cholesterol.

Made for TV Suicide

Made for TV Suicide

The Telegraph reported that the final moments of a man suffering motor neurone disease who chose assisted suicide at a controversial Swiss euthanasia clinic are to be screened on British television for the first time. Craig Ewert, 59, a retired university professor, opted for assisted suicide rather than spend the rest of his life locked in a “living tomb.” The final moments of terminally ill patients have been broadcast on British television before, but never in the case of an assisted suicide. Television watchdogs expressed concern that the programme, Right to Die, which will be shown on Sky Real Lives, would promote euthanasia. 

Husband or lover?

Husband or lover?

In other news, a new study revealed that young women are more promiscuous than men.  The study of 2000 women in the UK, commissioned by More magazine, found that by the age of 21, women have had an average of nine sexual partners – two more than their male partner. It also found a quarter of young women have slept with more than 10 partners in the first five years since losing their virginity, compared with 20 per cent of young men. More than half of respondents said they were not in love with the person they lost their virginity to and only 32 per cent believed it was important to be in love with someone before they had sex with them. Of the women surveyed, 50 per cent admitted they had cheated on a partner and half of those had been unfaithful at least twice. Only 25 per cent said they had a partner who cheated on them. No word on how the Chinese or Oprah feel about this, but someone on the Obama Presidential Transition Team mumbled that all change is good change.

(C) 2008 InebriatedPress.com

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Intel: U.S. Clout Down, Risks Up

US clout down, risks up by 2025 -intel outlook

By Randall Mikkelsen
Reuters
Thu Nov 20, 2008

WASHINGTON, Nov 20 (Reuters) – U.S. economic and political clout will decline over the next two decades and the world will be more dangerous, with food and water scarce and advanced weapons plentiful, U.S. spy agencies projected on Thursday.

The National Intelligence Council analysis “Global Trends 2025” also said the current financial crisis on Wall Street is just the first phase of a global economic reordering.

The U.S. dollar’s role as the world’s major currency would weaken to become a “first among equals,” the report said.

The outlook is intended to inform U.S. President-elect Barack Obama of factors that will influence global events. It is based on a year-long global survey of experts and trends by U.S. intelligence analysts.

“The next 20 years of transition to a new system are fraught with risks,” said the report, which was more pessimistic about U.S. influence and the potential for conflict than the last outlook for 2020.

Thomas Fingar, chairman of the intelligence council and deputy national director of intelligence for analysis, said harmful outcomes were not inevitable.

“It is not beyond the mind of human beings, or political systems, (or) in some cases (the) working of market mechanisms to address and alleviate if not solve these problems,” Fingar told reporters. “We could have a better world in 2025.”

China and India, following a “state capitalism” economic model, were likely to join the United States atop a multipolar world and compete for influence, the report said.

Russia’s potential was less certain, depending on its energy wealth and internal investment. But Iran, Turkey and Indonesia were also seen gaining power.

POTENTIAL FOR CONFLICT

A world with multiple power centers has been less stable than one with a single or two rival superpowers, and there was a growing potential for conflict, the report said.

Global warming will be felt, and water, food and energy constraints may fuel conflict over resources.

“Strategic rivalries are most likely to revolve around trade, investments and technological innovation and acquisition, but we cannot rule out a 19th century-like scenario of arms races, territorial expansion and military rivalries,” the report said.

“Types of conflict we have not seen for a while — such as over resources — could reemerge,” it said.

Global wealth was seen shifting from the developed West to the energy-rich Gulf States and Russia, and to Asia, the rising center of manufacturing and some service industries.

Global rich-poor disparities would grow, leaving Africa vulnerable to increased instability.

A reordering of the world financial system was happening faster than the report’s authors envisioned, Fingar said. Last weekend’s Group of 20 summit of advanced and major developing countries in Washington showed work had begun, he said.

A shift away from an oil-based energy system will be underway or complete by 2025. Better renewable technologies such as solar and wind power offer the best opportunity for a quick and low-cost transition, the report said.

There was a greater, but still small, risk of nuclear attack, based on spreading technologies and the weakening of international nonproliferation systems.

If Iran were to acquire nuclear weapons, Fingar said, that could set off an arms race in the Middle East, which is considered in the report as an “arc of instability.”

The risk that militant groups would use biological weapons was greater than the risk of nuclear terrorism, the report said.

The appeal of terrorism could decline over the next two decades, particularly if Middle Eastern countries provide productive education and opportunities for their young people, the report said. But with a growing population, the pool of potential terrorism recruits is likely to be larger, and access to dangerous weapons will rise.

(Editing by Vicki Allen)
reuters.com

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NEWS: Rats: No Dog Meat Treats for Olympians

Dog meat off the menu during Beijing Olympics
Restaurant staff told to ‘patiently’ suggest other options for diners

Associated Press via MSNBC
July. 11, 2008

BEIJING – Canine cuisine is being sent to the doghouse during next month’s Beijing Olympic Games.

Dog meat has been struck from the menus of officially designated Olympic restaurants, and Beijing tourism officials are telling other outlets to discourage consumers from ordering dishes made from dogs, the official Xinhua News Agency reported Friday.

Waiters and waitresses should “patiently” suggest other options to diners who order dog, it said, quoting city tourism bureau Vice Director Xiong Yumei.

‘Fragrant meat’
Dog, known in Chinese as “xiangrou,” or “fragrant meat,” is eaten by some Chinese for its purported health-giving qualities.

Beijing isn’t the first Olympic host to slap a ban on the dish.

South Korea banned dog meat during the 1988 Seoul Olympics by invoking a law prohibiting the sale of “foods deemed unsightly.” After the Olympics, the ban was not strictly enforced.

Dog meat is also eaten in some other Asian countries, including Vietnam, the Philippines and Laos.

msnbc.msn.com

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