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Q & A with Bob & Joan: Can Something Be Done About the National Debt and Does Anyone Really Care?

The “Bob and Joan Chronicles” of Inebriated Press
May 27, 2009
 
Q.
 
Bob,
 
Some of you conservatives are whining about Obama’s trillions in new spending and the massive deficit being created, as though it should actually matter to Americans.  Well no one cares about the deficit or the risk of hyper inflation, and even if you say you do, it doesn’t matter because you’re irrelevant. There’s nothing that an individual can do.  It’s a practical impossibility.
 
You should just shut up and enjoy the ride like everyone else.  What do you think you’re accomplishing by telling other people you care about it?  You’re wasting your time you dumb ass.
 
Hugs and kisses,
 
Joan
 
A.
 
My Dearest Joan,
 
Your warm and thoughtful words regarding my time management and the concern I have about America’s debt and the risk of future economic collapse, touches me deeply, and your statement telling me to shut-up because I’m irrelevant, is both kind and loving encouragement.  How I long to set aside petty questions and gently caress your back, neck and shoulders, easing your present tensions, and then softly kiss the bridge of your nose as only I can.  But alas, such is not my mandate.  I must address your misunderstanding about the level of concern among Americans, and most importantly, the power of the individual.
 
Most Americans are worried about the national debt and many are concerned that President Obama is fiscally irresponsible.  In a recent Washington Post/ABC News poll, nearly nine in ten Americans (87 percent) said they were either “very” (59 percent) or “somewhat” (27 percent) concerned about the size of the federal budget deficit.  While many Americans like President Obama personally, they don’t like many of his policies and are worried about his spending and the risky national debt.  Whether elected officials will respond to these concerns or be voted out of office remains to be seen, but more and more citizens are telling them exactly how they feel, and have even begun public protesting – as displayed on April 15th in “tax day rally’s” against the “tax and spending” of both major Parties.  Public pressure will continue to grow as we near the elections in the fall of 2010.  The liberal Democrats controlling Congress and the White House are proving they are who the conservatives said they were.  And American voters are paying attention and have begun reacting against them.  All is not lost on the fiscal front.  Momentum is changing.

Now, about your belief that the individual is irrelevant and that effort by one person — such as myself — to make change is a practical impossibility.  The United States of America was founded on the inalienable rights of the individual.  Rights that the nation’s founders believed were endowed upon individuals by their Creator, and among those rights were the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.  Initially those words and others in the U.S Constitution and Bill of Rights were conceptual constructs.  Until individuals — farmers, millers, merchants and others – irrelevant people mostly, took up arms and made theory a reality.  Many believed it was impossible for irrelevant rabble to defeat the British Empire, yet the fools did it.  And it was a pipe dream as well as a practical impossibility that any nation would actually try to put men on the moon, yet silly irrelevant Americans – many of them toiling in obscurity – accomplished the mission, and placed a number of their own citizens there.   During World War II, individuals from all around America rolled into Paris freeing it from the Nazi’s.  Individual men and women crossed America, carving out life and civilization in the fields, plains and mountains — building cities, towns, states.  They fought disease, floods, drought, and countless challenges.  They built a new nation – based on the rights of the individual.  And what of the individual and American invention?  How about Alexander Graham Bell, Thomas Edison, Benjamin Franklin, Samuel Morse, George Washington Carver, the Wright Brothers, Bill Gates, and others.  Much more could be written about what common irrelevant Americans have accomplished. 

The irrelevant founded America.  They are its life-blood.  The individual is the heart of America’s constitution.  Protecting those rights and freedoms is important to us.  The impossible is what America is as a nation.  And the impossible has been accomplished from time to time by Americans, often to the surprise and disbelief of other nations.  The freedom, power and rights of the individual are why many Americans are Americans.  The fatalistic belief that the individual is irrelevant is why some American’s gave up being Europeans and left for the ‘New World’.  I and other American’s aren’t inclined to become Europeans today – even though there are some of us who want to become Western European Socialists.  The American electorate has lost its way before and found its way back.  We elected Jimmy Carter and then Ronald Reagan.  We can do it again.

And so, my fine and gentle Joan, I’m here to tell you that the battle for traditional “common sense” America is not over.  “Irrelevant individuals” still believe that they can make a difference — as they have for generations.  And as long as traditional Americans continue to believe that by their actions they will have an impact, they will in fact have an impact.  The 87% who said they were concerned about the national debt, can change the direction of this country.  Those individuals are not really irrelevant.  I am among them.

I hope this finds you cool where you want to be and warm where you need to be.

With the sweetest of wishes and most tender feelings toward you oozing from my core like moisture on my muscular pec’s in the heat of a summer night, I remain most affectionately yours,

Bob

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NASA Lander Dies, So Does Drilling for Oil and Definition of Terrorist

Mars lander appears to have finally passed away
Obama to use executive powers to block drilling leases
Obama to transfer men formerly known as terrorists, to US from Guantanamo, try them as criminals

Inebriated Press
November 12, 2008

BetaNews reported yesterday that NASA’s Phoenix Mars lander has not issued any transmissions in a week, and it appears that it has run out of energy and “died”.  The death wasn’t unexpected. And Mathaba News Network reported Monday that president elect Obama will use executive power to reverse Bush era directives, including blocking new oil drilling leases on land in Utah. This was also not unexpected.  In addition, UK’s Times Online reported that aides to Barack Obama said yesterday, that he will move swiftly to close Guantanamo Bay and ship the “terrorist suspects” to the U.S. mainland where they will be tried as criminals. This wasn’t unexpected either.  American’s who have feared that an Obama presidency will display the man represented by his past community activist days and liberal leanings, plus his radical friends and associates, are seeing the very thing they expected.  And so are liberals as they cling to faith in anti-god and anti-guns.

“The power of change is alive, well and dominating America, and the U.S. will not be the same when we’re through converting it into a progressive European styled socialist welfare state that’s tolerant of fascists, drug users and Russian domination, but stands against personal responsibility, traditional religious teachings and conservative values,” said Libby Archetype, a multi-cultural bisexual policy expert, at the Change for Any Reason Institute, and director of the Obama as God Project.  “The old ways of doing and thinking are gone, swept away by the waters of reasonless optimism, baseless enthusiasm and blind faith in The One. There are no terrorists, only petty criminals who need training in positive self esteem, and there is no energy problem, only oodles of sun beams waiting to replace fossil fuels on January 20th.  And Barack will bring the NASA lander back to life.  It isn’t dead; it’s just frozen in the past by lifeless Bush rhetoric and clumsy but somehow successful protection of the country after 9-11.  Barack will change everything.”

Not everyone agrees with Archetype.  “Any decision to stop the search and development of oil while we continue developing new sources of energy is misguided, and any change to prosecuting men found on a battlefield to the same as a guy with too many parking tickets, is a perversion of both justice and common sense,” said Rock Hardd-Core, a muscle-bound philosophy professor often confused for someone else.  “I’m not arguing that we shouldn’t do something with the guys on Guantanamo, I’ve got plenty of ideas I can share but you can’t put them in print. But the notion that suddenly terrorists and war combatants’ are petty criminals with the rights of a U.S. citizen is absurd.  The Mars lander has died alright, and so has the last vestige of plain thinking and American logic.  God help us all.  No not that one, the Real One.”

BetaNews reported that Phoenix spacecraft appears to have finally passed away, although not before accomplishing its main NASA missions around exploring the terrain and weather conditions of the so-called “Red Planet.” On Monday, managers of the NASA spacecraft announced they are suspending any operations related to the vehicle until next spring, given that they haven’t received any transmissions from it for a week. The death of the Phoenix wasn’t unexpected, since the Martian winter had set in and the Phoenix’s solar panels had started to generate less energy. Still, NASA managers had hoped to eek out a few more weeks of performance from the craft. But right after the Phoenix completed its last major experiment on October 27, an unanticipated dust storm struck, and on-board batteries — already strained by running the experiment — started to give way. The space vehicle put itself into a low-energy safe mode, and then stopped sending signals. The Phoenix started to come back to life intermittently on October 30, but never managed to completely recharge its batteries, finally fading away.

Mathaba News Network quoted John Podesta, head of Obama’s transition team: “There’s a lot the president can do using his executive authority without waiting for congressional action.” The article went on to explain that President-elect Barack Obama will likely use his executive powers after taking office to block new drilling leases on environmentally sensitive land in Utah and to allow federal funding of stem-cell research, putting a quick mark on policy making. Podesta said Obama is “a transformational figure” and that the support he received among voters in some Republican states and conservative counties gives him a mandate to pursue his agenda aggressively.

The Times Online reported that Barack Obama will move swiftly to close Guantanamo Bay as soon as he takes office, his aides said Monday, in a clear and early sign of how determined he is to break with President Bush. Mr Obama is planning to ship dozens of terrorist suspects from the camp to face criminal trial in the US. He is looking at creating a new “terrorism court” on the US mainland to try up to 80 terror suspects, including Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, the self-confessed September 11 master-mind. Mr Obama said last week that he would close the camp “as quickly as we can do prudently”. The move will face stiff opposition from many Republicans on Capitol Hill and a substantial number of Americans who strongly oppose bringing terror suspects to US soil with traditional rules of evidence that give those being prosecuted the presumption of innocence.
 
Some pundits argue that everyone is innocent because ethics are relative and law is subjective and arbitrary; as such they say, it can not be legally enforced.

“The true nature of life is evolutionary and changing as particles and matter spin about in a chaotic mass of time, chance, revolution and maybe-mightbe; Darwin taught us that, and we should know better than to attempt to put constraints on human nature, or try to bring order from chaos” said Misty Sunbeam-Notbright, a scholar of extraordinary clarity and vibrancy, whose only vice is her authoritarian bent to bully everyone into doing what she wants, and her intolerance of ideas not her own.  “There is no such thing as good or evil, there is no truth or lie, all is universal oneness, and discomfort is just the occasional friction of growth and newness as we evolve into greater beings.  Hand me that med bottle will you, I seem to have evolved a cold sore and man does it sting.”

In other news, Times Online reported last Friday that gun stores across the United States are reporting a massive surge in sales as buyers rush to stockpile firearms in case of a ban under soon-to-be President Obama. “He’s a gun-snatcher,” Jim Pruett, owner of Jim Pruett’s Guns and Ammo in northwest Houston, told the newspaper. “He wants to take our guns from us and create a socialist society policed by his own police force.”  Obama’s much reported remark that “bitter” small town Americans “cling to guns and religion” seems to have resonated with some citizens, and they’re cling to god and guns more tightly than ever. No word on how the left explains the evolution of citizens who have a sudden need to protect themselves and their rights, but perhaps it’s a case of “anti-transformational” discord that Obama and his suspects formerly known as terrorists, have elicited.  Or maybe common sense isn’t dead after all.

(C) 2008 InebriatedPress.com

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Secret U.S. Order on Al Qaeda, $14 Bra Saves Lives, and Victim Turns Table on Robber

Since 2004 US military has used a secret order to attack Al Qaeda world-wide
Woman stabbed in chest, saved by underwire bra
Victim breaks free, wrestles gun away and shoots robber

Inebriated Press
November 11, 2008

The New York Times reported Sunday that since 2004 the United States military has used broad, secret authority to carry out nearly a dozen previously undisclosed attacks against Al Qaeda and other militants, in Syria, Pakistan and elsewhere.  And Australia’s News Limited reported Saturday that an English barmaid is alive to tell the story of how a $14 bra saved her life when she was stabbed in the chest by a mugger.  Meanwhile Florida’s St. Petersburg Times reported Saturday that a Tampa man was tied up and robbed, but after breaking free from the restraints and wrestling the gun away, the man fatally shot one of two robbers.  Pundits debate the ethics of defending oneself using secret orders, attacker’s weapons and women’s underwear.

“It’s every individual’s right and responsibility to defend themselves and their property using any means necessary, be that the right to fight back any-place at any-time against those you know are out to hurt you; to using attackers weapons against them, and wearing women’s undergarments,” said Thomas Knight-Trane, a personal trainer and self defense expert, who believes in shooting first and asking about underwire bras and satin panties later.  “I will not be among the passive sheep-to-the-slaughter crowd and sit around hoping somebody will bail me out.  Anybody who takes me on will get it right back.  I’m going down fighting.  Heck most of these attackers and terrorists are cowards and are surprised when the victim fights back.  Turning the tables gives you the element of surprise half the time.  The rest I leave to the Smith & Wesson .357 heat I carry in my underwire bra holster.”

Not everyone agrees with Knight-Trane.  “A violent response to violence just perpetuates it and makes the person defending themselves no better than the attacker,” said Stacy Lawmann-Discord, an animal rights activist who packs heat of a different kind inside her underwire bra; if you get my drift.  “What we need is more kindness and gentleness to all people and animals.  If we respond to terror attacks with kindness and gifts, the criminals and terrorists will soften their attitudes about us.  It seems to be working between the US and North Korea.  We keep giving in to their threats and they haven’t launched a missile into Japan.  We should probably give money to the United Nations to distribute to Al Qaeda so that they are more easy-going about things too.  I’m so against fighting and war.  But don’t touch any of my shit.  My brothers in SWAT.”

The New York Times reported that the United States military since 2004 has used broad, secret authority to carry out nearly a dozen previously undisclosed attacks against Al Qaeda and other militants in Syria, Pakistan and elsewhere, according to senior American officials. These military raids, typically carried out by Special Operations forces, were authorized by a classified order that Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld signed in the spring of 2004 with the approval of President Bush, the officials said. The secret order gave the military new authority to attack the Qaeda terrorist network anywhere in the world, and a more sweeping mandate to conduct operations in countries not at war with the United States. According to a senior administration official, the authority was spelled out in a classified document called “Al Qaeda Network Exord,” or execute order, that streamlined the approval process for the military to act outside officially declared war zones. The 2004 order identifies 15 to 20 countries, including Syria, Pakistan, Yemen, Saudi Arabia and several other Persian Gulf states, where Qaeda militants were believed to be operating or to have sought sanctuary, a senior administration official said.

Australia’s News.com reported that an English barmaid has told how a $14 bra saved her life when she was stabbed in the chest by a mugger. Victim Vicky Parsons, 26, said the point of the knife pierced her skin but the serrated blade caught on the wiring of a new bra. “The bra saved my life. It’s the best £6 ($14) I’ve ever spent,” she said. “One had a large sharp knife across my throat. I instinctively pushed it away and it cut my hand. He shouted, ‘Give me some money’ and I swore at him. Then he pushed the knife at my chest and ran off.” The shop that sold her the bra, Asda, said: “We’re delighted one of our bras saved Vicky. We would like to invite her to come in so she can replace the damaged item with a selection of new ones. This is our very own wonder bra.”

The St. Petersburg Times reported that late last Thursday night, two friends of Anthony Velez’s came to his apartment. They’d been there many times before, a neighbor said. This time, police said, they tied Velez up and robbed him. And this time, only one left alive. Velez, 21, fatally shot one of the men after breaking free from the restraints and wresting a gun away, Tampa police said. It happened about 11 p.m. at the Tuscany Point Apartments, 3350 W Hillsborough Ave. The other man fled on foot, and Velez suffered only minor injuries. The fugitive was identified by police as Ramon Antonio Varela, 34, with no known address. Varela is facing charges of felony murder, armed robbery with firearm and kidnapping. One of the Velez neighbors, Will Nieves, said Velez is a good guy, but too trusting. The two met when Velez moved into the apartments about a year ago. “I told him, ‘You’ve got to watch who you trust,” Nieves said. “In this world, not all that glitters is gold. Some people will hide behind a fake smile.’ ” 

Some people say that fake smiles, a bit of charm and the gift of gab, can get you all the way from community organizer into the highest office in the land.

“I guess folks are no longer interested in substance and the bottom line, and have a higher appreciation of well meaning but deceptive politicians who have no clue about what’s really going on in the world. Apparently we are to believe that first-term junior Senators who behave in a shallow left-wing manner, really know how to run things best and protect us from danger; and that they should be in charge because their chameleon-like ability enables them to dodge uncomfortable questions,” said some sarcastic guy still disgusted that a Vietnam vet with solid credentials, was beaten out of the U.S. presidency by a glib newbie sill wet behind the ears.  “I guess 53 percent of American voters forgot what happened to us on 9-11, and that it took guys like McCain to stop the terrorists so that we haven’t had another successful attack on our soil. If that’s the logic we’re going to have to live with over the next four years, then you better arm yourself to the teeth.  We’re going to have serious shit going on around here.”

In other news, World Net Daily reported Saturday that Arizona Supreme Court Chief Justice Ruth McGregor endorsed a demand from the Hispanic Bar Association to censor words and phrases such as “illegal aliens” and “illegal immigrants” and substitute “foreign nationals” in court documents. When a blog at Judicial Watch reported on the instructions, court officials threatened to sue the government-watchdog organization, prompting it to release a statement defending the story. No word on why the Court thinks we shouldn’t call illegal people illegal people or how much better things will be when all terms mean everything and nothing, but perhaps when ‘foreign nationals’ and ‘undocumented pharmacists’ (drug dealers) are running America, maybe then it’ll get clearer for those of us who still haven’t shaken off the last vestiges of common sense.

(C) 2008 InebriatedPress.com

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