Tag Archives: executive power

Google Poised to Rule, Obama Poised to Dominate, and Robber’s Cash-Stash-Snatch Cache

> Google pursues agenda in D.C. using Obama connection
> Obama tells Republicans to bury Rush Limbaugh and “get along”
> Robbery defendant hid cash in her vagina

Inebriated Press
January 28, 2009

googleThe Los Angeles Times reported Saturday that after the inauguration took place in Washington D.C. last week, that Google Inc. officially became a political power player. And The New York Post reported that President Obama warned Republicans that they better stop listening to conservative radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh if they “want to get along.”  Meanwhile, West Virginia’s The Inter-Mountain paper reported that Randolph County investigating officer J.A. Burns recovered money from a robbers home, finding $21,060 “stashed in various places around the house,” including $1,690 concealed in Sarah Wallace’s vagina. Pundits are debating the growing power of Google, Obama and a cash-stash in today’s tricky economy.

Xaviera Hollander

Xaviera Hollander

“You can’t underestimate the power of cash in a down economy when it comes to landing deals, buying political power, or just crushing your enemies the way Obama is doing — although the power of a vagina to create wealth, families or just store money shouldn’t be underestimated either,” said Xaviera Hollander, a vaginal economist and former hooker.  “If I’m Google and I bought my way into Obama’s campaign and transition team, now that he’s in power you’re damn right I’m going to cash in.  Think of the power and influence of Obama 2.0 running on Google’s global infrastructure — for both Obama and Google. The combination of high tech media and communications, plus money and political power, is invincible.  You can screw less people and still do whatever you want.  It worked for me when I wrote for Penthouse.”

CIA Chief limbers up

CIA Chief limbers up

Not everyone thinks money, technology and vaginal awareness alone equals power.  “In the end you still have to make things work to be a successful executive or elected official.  Power, money, smooth talk and access to women’s vagina’s will only get you so far,” said Leon Panetta, former Chief of Staff to vagina-lover Bill Clinton, now power-lover Barack Obama’s Director of the CIA.  “Clinton only got off the hook for lying to a grand jury and having sex with interns in the Oval Office because the economy was in good shape.  People didn’t care who he banged or lied to as long as they could pay their bills and stash some money in their 401k’s.  Barack has to be careful with how fast he crushes his enemies like Rush Limbaugh while counting on Senate-leader Harry Reid to pull crafty legislation out of his ass, and House-leader Nancy Pelosi to pull budgetary dollars out of her vagina.  And even with me running the CIA I can only give Barack intel on his enemy’s, I can’t arrange mysterious deaths for all his enemies, some people could catch on and cause trouble.  This isn’t Putin’s Russia or the Clinton White House you know… not yet anyway.”

Obama 2.0 + Google = Orwell's 1984?

Obama 2.0 + Google = Orwell's 1984?

The Los Angeles Times reported that another inauguration took place in Washington this past week — Google Inc. officially became a political power player. In October, Google was only hours from being sued by the Justice Department as a Web-search monopolist. Today, less than three years after it made its first Washington hire, the Internet giant is poised to capitalize on its backing of President Obama and pursue its agenda in the nation’s capital. Google’s executives and employees overwhelmingly supported Obama’s candidacy, contributing more money than all but three companies or universities. Google Chief Executive Eric Schmidt campaigned for Obama and was one of four Googlers on his transition team. He is now likely to get his calls to the White House returned.

“Google is not just a benign corporate entity. It has a variety of special interests,” said Jeff Chester, the executive director of the Center for Digital Democracy, who has sparred with Google over data-privacy issues. “They’re in a great position to push their agenda through with the support of the president and the Democrats in Congress.” Competitors worry about Google’s close relationship with the Obama administration, said Bill Whalen, a research fellow at Stanford University’s Hoover Institution. White House officials did not respond to requests for comment.

090128-barack-powerThe New York Post reported that President Obama warned Republicans on Capitol Hill Friday that they need to quit listening to radio host Rush Limbaugh if they want to get along with Democrats and the new administration.  “You can’t just listen to Rush Limbaugh and get things done,” he told top GOP leaders, whom he had invited to the White House to discuss his nearly $1 trillion stimulus package. A White House official confirmed the comment. That wasn’t Obama’s only jab at Republicans Friday. In an exchange with Rep. Eric Cantor (R-Va.) about the proposal, the president shot back: “I won,” according to aides briefed on the meeting. 

The man who would change America

The man who would change America

The National Review reported that Rush Limbaugh responded to Obama’s comments by saying that Obama is attempting to marginalize him and isolate Republicans. Limbaugh said that Obama’s plan would buy votes for the Democrat Party, in the same way FDR’s New Deal established majority power for 50 years of Democrat rule, and it would also simultaneously seriously damage any hope of future tax cuts. He said Obama’s stimulus is aimed at re-establishing “eternal” power for the Democrat Party rather than stimulating the economy because anyone with a brain knows this is not how you stimulate the economy. Limbaugh said that if Obama can make him serve as a distraction, then there is that much less time spent debating the merits of the trillion dollar debacle.  Limbaugh reminded listeners that Obama was a student of Saul Alinsky while he was community organizing in Chicago. He said Rule 13 of Alinksy’s Rules for Radicals is: “Pick the target, freeze it, personalize it, and polarize it.”

West Virginia’s The Inter-Mountain paper reported that four defendants allegedly involved in the armed robbery of Mountain Valley Bank in Mill Creek in December will have their cases bound over to a grand jury. During his testimony, Randolph County Deputy J.A. Burns said he was dispatched to a hold-up alarm at Mountain Valley Bank in Mill Creek at 10:32 a.m. on Dec. 30. Burns said he arrived at the scene and began obtaining verbal statements from witnesses. Burns told the court that police officers later received a tip from a resident who had been listening to a scanner and heard that two suspects had been seen running into a house on Conrad Street in Mill Creek.

Cash stash snatch cache

Cash stash snatch cache

Burns said officers located several items at the residence including camouflage clothes, sunglasses, a loaded .32 caliber revolver, a tote bag and $21,060 in cash. He said 50 of the recovered bills were serial numbered “bait money” from the bank. He said the money was found stashed in various places around the house. He said Wallace also had $1,690 concealed in her vagina. During cross examination, Burns was asked if he had performed a cavity search of Wallace. He said no, that she had told him where she hid the money. 

The Chicago Way – An Early Adopter

The Chicago Way – An Early Adopter

In other news, WKMG Orlando reported Saturday that a Boston terrier stopped a rape attempt in Pompano Beach, sheriff’s deputies said. The Broward County Sheriff’s Office said a 46-year-old woman allowed a man inside her apartment Wednesday after he said he was a repairman. Once inside, however, the man attacked her. Her female dog then bit the man on the shoulder, and he fled the apartment, according to the sheriff’s office. No word on whether the man was really looking for vaginal cash or attempting to Google for influence, but the fact is the Boston terrier won. 

And winning is what matters. 

That’s why during the disagreement between Obama and Rep. Eric Cantor (R-Va.) over Obama’s trillion dollar proposal, the president shot back his election reminder: “I won.”  That’s the Chicago way.  Get used to it.

(C) 2009 InebriatedPress.com

Source documents:

Google ready to pursue its agenda in Washington


Robbery suspects’ cases go to grand jury

Xaviera Hollander – From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Limbaugh Responds to Obama

Sheriff: Dog Stopped Rape Attempt

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NASA Lander Dies, So Does Drilling for Oil and Definition of Terrorist

Mars lander appears to have finally passed away
Obama to use executive powers to block drilling leases
Obama to transfer men formerly known as terrorists, to US from Guantanamo, try them as criminals

Inebriated Press
November 12, 2008

BetaNews reported yesterday that NASA’s Phoenix Mars lander has not issued any transmissions in a week, and it appears that it has run out of energy and “died”.  The death wasn’t unexpected. And Mathaba News Network reported Monday that president elect Obama will use executive power to reverse Bush era directives, including blocking new oil drilling leases on land in Utah. This was also not unexpected.  In addition, UK’s Times Online reported that aides to Barack Obama said yesterday, that he will move swiftly to close Guantanamo Bay and ship the “terrorist suspects” to the U.S. mainland where they will be tried as criminals. This wasn’t unexpected either.  American’s who have feared that an Obama presidency will display the man represented by his past community activist days and liberal leanings, plus his radical friends and associates, are seeing the very thing they expected.  And so are liberals as they cling to faith in anti-god and anti-guns.

“The power of change is alive, well and dominating America, and the U.S. will not be the same when we’re through converting it into a progressive European styled socialist welfare state that’s tolerant of fascists, drug users and Russian domination, but stands against personal responsibility, traditional religious teachings and conservative values,” said Libby Archetype, a multi-cultural bisexual policy expert, at the Change for Any Reason Institute, and director of the Obama as God Project.  “The old ways of doing and thinking are gone, swept away by the waters of reasonless optimism, baseless enthusiasm and blind faith in The One. There are no terrorists, only petty criminals who need training in positive self esteem, and there is no energy problem, only oodles of sun beams waiting to replace fossil fuels on January 20th.  And Barack will bring the NASA lander back to life.  It isn’t dead; it’s just frozen in the past by lifeless Bush rhetoric and clumsy but somehow successful protection of the country after 9-11.  Barack will change everything.”

Not everyone agrees with Archetype.  “Any decision to stop the search and development of oil while we continue developing new sources of energy is misguided, and any change to prosecuting men found on a battlefield to the same as a guy with too many parking tickets, is a perversion of both justice and common sense,” said Rock Hardd-Core, a muscle-bound philosophy professor often confused for someone else.  “I’m not arguing that we shouldn’t do something with the guys on Guantanamo, I’ve got plenty of ideas I can share but you can’t put them in print. But the notion that suddenly terrorists and war combatants’ are petty criminals with the rights of a U.S. citizen is absurd.  The Mars lander has died alright, and so has the last vestige of plain thinking and American logic.  God help us all.  No not that one, the Real One.”

BetaNews reported that Phoenix spacecraft appears to have finally passed away, although not before accomplishing its main NASA missions around exploring the terrain and weather conditions of the so-called “Red Planet.” On Monday, managers of the NASA spacecraft announced they are suspending any operations related to the vehicle until next spring, given that they haven’t received any transmissions from it for a week. The death of the Phoenix wasn’t unexpected, since the Martian winter had set in and the Phoenix’s solar panels had started to generate less energy. Still, NASA managers had hoped to eek out a few more weeks of performance from the craft. But right after the Phoenix completed its last major experiment on October 27, an unanticipated dust storm struck, and on-board batteries — already strained by running the experiment — started to give way. The space vehicle put itself into a low-energy safe mode, and then stopped sending signals. The Phoenix started to come back to life intermittently on October 30, but never managed to completely recharge its batteries, finally fading away.

Mathaba News Network quoted John Podesta, head of Obama’s transition team: “There’s a lot the president can do using his executive authority without waiting for congressional action.” The article went on to explain that President-elect Barack Obama will likely use his executive powers after taking office to block new drilling leases on environmentally sensitive land in Utah and to allow federal funding of stem-cell research, putting a quick mark on policy making. Podesta said Obama is “a transformational figure” and that the support he received among voters in some Republican states and conservative counties gives him a mandate to pursue his agenda aggressively.

The Times Online reported that Barack Obama will move swiftly to close Guantanamo Bay as soon as he takes office, his aides said Monday, in a clear and early sign of how determined he is to break with President Bush. Mr Obama is planning to ship dozens of terrorist suspects from the camp to face criminal trial in the US. He is looking at creating a new “terrorism court” on the US mainland to try up to 80 terror suspects, including Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, the self-confessed September 11 master-mind. Mr Obama said last week that he would close the camp “as quickly as we can do prudently”. The move will face stiff opposition from many Republicans on Capitol Hill and a substantial number of Americans who strongly oppose bringing terror suspects to US soil with traditional rules of evidence that give those being prosecuted the presumption of innocence.
Some pundits argue that everyone is innocent because ethics are relative and law is subjective and arbitrary; as such they say, it can not be legally enforced.

“The true nature of life is evolutionary and changing as particles and matter spin about in a chaotic mass of time, chance, revolution and maybe-mightbe; Darwin taught us that, and we should know better than to attempt to put constraints on human nature, or try to bring order from chaos” said Misty Sunbeam-Notbright, a scholar of extraordinary clarity and vibrancy, whose only vice is her authoritarian bent to bully everyone into doing what she wants, and her intolerance of ideas not her own.  “There is no such thing as good or evil, there is no truth or lie, all is universal oneness, and discomfort is just the occasional friction of growth and newness as we evolve into greater beings.  Hand me that med bottle will you, I seem to have evolved a cold sore and man does it sting.”

In other news, Times Online reported last Friday that gun stores across the United States are reporting a massive surge in sales as buyers rush to stockpile firearms in case of a ban under soon-to-be President Obama. “He’s a gun-snatcher,” Jim Pruett, owner of Jim Pruett’s Guns and Ammo in northwest Houston, told the newspaper. “He wants to take our guns from us and create a socialist society policed by his own police force.”  Obama’s much reported remark that “bitter” small town Americans “cling to guns and religion” seems to have resonated with some citizens, and they’re cling to god and guns more tightly than ever. No word on how the left explains the evolution of citizens who have a sudden need to protect themselves and their rights, but perhaps it’s a case of “anti-transformational” discord that Obama and his suspects formerly known as terrorists, have elicited.  Or maybe common sense isn’t dead after all.

(C) 2008 InebriatedPress.com

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