Tag Archives: Holocaust

Rogue Stem Cell Clinics, Abortion Gift Certificates, and Time Traveling

Clinics exploit hope with unproven stem cell therapies
Planned Parenthood is offering gift certificates for the holidays
Scientists snatch supernova echo from the 1500’s

Inebriated Press \ Division of Rant (with Pretzels)
December 5, 2008

081205-rogue-clinicsReuters reported yesterday that rogue clinics around the world are exploiting hope and ignorance by offering unproven stem cell therapies, a group of stem cell experts said in a new report. And the Chicago Tribune reported Wednesday that Planned Parenthood is offering gift certificates in $25 increments during the holidays, to be used for buying contraceptives or paying for abortions.  Meanwhile, Scientific American reported yesterday that scientists at the Subaru Telescope say they’ve traveled into the past and seen echoes of an event witnessed by astronomer Tycho Brahe in 1572.  Pundits are debating whether society is going forward, backward, or if it’s just more of the same, but with a high tech flavor.

Supernova

Supernova

“‘Whatever is has already been, and what will be has been before; and God will call the past to account’ — Solomon wrote that in Ecclesiastes, and he knew what he was talking about way before snake-oil salesmen plied their trade with unproven elixir they said would heal all your ills — the same as the stem cell people are doing today,” said Rachael Ray-Fiberglass, a part-time chef and full-time auto-body repair expert, who likes cooking up fun in old Chevy’s.  “There’s nothing new about what’s going on in today’s world. It’s as old as human nature itself.  I have little doubt that the Aztec’s handed out certificates that gave benefits to citizens who sacrificed their children for the holidays, and we know scams of all kinds have been going on forever.  People elected Obama for his change mantra and now he’s stocking the cupboards with Clintonites.  Nothing new is going on here.  Sure the country has moved further left and we’ll get higher taxes and a weaker military, but that’s been a Democrat thing for years. Everything is the same, only the trappings are different.”

Germany 1945

Germany 1945

Not everyone agrees with Ray-Fiberglass.  “Today’s civilization has advanced well beyond the barbaric days of snake oil and artery bleeding for healing, and no free woman should have to carry an unwanted child to term; we’ve outgrown old modalities. For crying out loud get over it,” said Angel Golden-Rapunzel, who looks like her first name and frequently makes men drool but never notices.  “We should be using every tool and technology at our disposal to advance medicine and social enjoyment, by altering our genes, relaxing our beliefs about genocide and the value or devaluation of human life, and get on with the creation of a new age and a master race.  Hitler was pretty aggressive and probably should have toned it down a little, but he made significant advancements toward improving humanity through proper breeding and casually getting rid of undesirables. There’s nothing to fear here.  Some old things might be new again, but they’ve been updated for the better, with a modern approach and progressive philosophy.  If we could go back in time and get Adolph’s views on things, you can bet most of today’s true scientists would do it. The guy had foresight.”

Reuters reported that rogue clinics around the world may be exploiting hope and ignorance by offering unproven stem cell therapies, a group of stem cell experts said in a report released on Wednesday. The International Society for Stem Cell Research released guidelines for researchers and regulators, and a guidebook for patients that criticized some clinics. “The International Society for Stem Cell Research is very concerned that stem cell therapies are being sold around the world before they have been proven safe and effective,” the guidelines said. “The direct-to-consumer portrayal of stem cell medicine is optimistic and unsupported by published evidence,” Timothy Caulfield of the University of Alberta and colleagues wrote. For researchers and regulators, the group advises tough oversight and independent review. “Regulators have a responsibility to prevent exploitation of patients in their jurisdictions, and where necessary, to close fraudulent clinics and take disciplinary action against the doctors involved,” said Dr. George Daley of Children’s Hospital Boston.

Abortion at 10 weeks, Kansas 2008

Abortion at 10 weeks, Kansas 2008

The Chicago Tribune reported that Planned Parenthood is offering gift certificates in $25 increments available online and at 35 Indiana clinics, which can be used for health services, contraceptives and abortions. Betty Cockrum, president and CEO of Planned Parenthood of Indiana, characterizes the response to the gift certificates as “pretty robust, and generally very favorable.” She estimates that “about a dozen” certificates have sold since they became available Nov. 25. Planned Parenthood of Illinois plans to sell similar gift certificates starting Monday. PPIN’s move has enraged various anti-abortion organizations. Jim Sedlak, vice president of the American Life League and executive director of Stop Planned Parenthood, a group based in Stafford, Va., condemns the certificates as a continuation of Planned Parenthood’s “annual attacks on the Christian community at Christmastime.”
 

Time or Space?

Time or Space?

Scientific American reported that it’s not every day we get a chance to time travel. But astronomers say they’ve done a little traveling into the past. In November of 1572, legendary astronomer Tycho Brahe peered up at the night sky. He saw what looked like a strangely bright star in the constellation Cassiopeia. It was brighter even than the nearby planet Venus. He studied that bright new star for five months, until it faded away. But what Brahe saw wasn’t a new star. It was actually an old star undergoing the brilliantly bright death of a supernova. Scientists at the Subaru Telescope in Japan recently analyzed what could be called echoes of this more than 400-year-old event. Light from the original supernova bounced off dust particles in the interstellar clouds and eventually reached us here on earth more than four centuries later. They published their research in the December 4th issue of the journal Nature.

Some people say that whether light is old or new, shedding some of it on current trends with a bit of common sense gleaned from history, is the best way to advance society.

Misunderstood visionary leader

Misunderstood visionary leader

“We need to use caution when we begin to protect heinous killers on death row, and terrorists who indiscriminately behead those they disagree with, because we call ourselves civilized; but then create human embryos and destroy them for the stem cells, or destroy them because they are inconvenient or imperfect,” said a passing troll, often mistaken for a Republican right-winger.  “I’m not saying there isn’t a time and place to consider this, but when we become casual about it, and we shuffle genes and weak or powerless members of society like so many playing cards, we begin to walk a path where taking the lives of the innocent to benefit those in control leads to oppression and an authoritarian version of utopia.  Protection of the sick and the weak is what makes society what it is. It’s where we derive compassion and understand unconditional love.  Improvement through change can be made, but costs and tradeoffs are always present.  Abandoning love of life with both its strengths and weaknesses, and replacing it with economic or socially engineered efficiency and design, ultimately becomes oppressive and totalitarian.  Oh what the hell, hand me the Jack Daniels, I’ve had enough of this shit for one day.”

Curves that hurt

Curves that hurt

In other news, Sweden’s The Local reported Wednesday, that a Swedish woman injured in a car accident has had her disability benefits withdrawn after the country’s social insurance agency determined her large bust was to blame for the pain. “My breasts have been large since I got them. But I didn’t have any problems with pain before the car accident,” Jessica Andersson said. Andersson learned last week that the Swedish Social Insurance Agency was cancelling disability payments for whiplash injuries she suffered in a car accident six years ago. The agency’s decision comes following an assessment from a doctor suggesting that Andersson could return to work if she had breast reduction surgery. Andersson is currently considering an appeal of the ruling to have her payments withdrawn. No word on whether she got her boobs naturally or from a rogue clinic, but sometimes personal change, just like society’s, hurts as much as it helps.

(C) 2008 InebriatedPress.com

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Rocket Ship Rides, Nuclear Iran, and Sperm Donor Extraordinaire

XCOR will put you in space for only $95,000
Experts warn Barack Obama of an impending nuclear Iran
Sperm donor fathers 46 children

Inebriated Press
December 4, 2008

XCOR Lynx

XCOR Lynx

XCOR Aerospace announced Tuesday that they have begun selling rides to the edge of space for just $95,000 per flight. Participants will fly aboard the Lynx, a two-seat suborbital vehicle. And the U.K. Times Online reported yesterday that Tehran is on course to produce a nuclear bomb in the first year of an Obama administration, a coalition of top think-tanks has warned.  Meanwhile, a Dutchman known as Europe’s most committed sperm donor says he’s fathered 46 children and is willing to keep at it. Pundits are debating the risk-reward profiles of being blasted into space by XCOR, being blasted off the face of the earth by Iranians, or guys just blasting away in an effort to support spermless women on a quest for the parenthood frontier.

“At some point in everyone’s life, we’re all on some kind of a search for adventure, power or procreation, it’s just the way human nature is,” said Hazel Rae Harlequin, an experimental scientist and occasional plumber, who often contemplates human existence, birth control and the laying of pipe; sometimes all at once. “I’d love to ride a rocket and have a couple kids but there’s no way that the Iranians should get to have a nuclear weapon.  If I sign up at XCOR and they blow me up, I’ll have understood the risk.  If I get kids from marriage or a sperm donor and they make my life a mess, it’s my own fault; I’ll have understood the risk.  But if the Iranians get nukes and start blowing up shit, that’ll only be my fault if I’m on the side of people who let them.  I won’t be on that side.  Common people, stop them.  If you don’t, you’ll share responsibility with them for the crazy shit that they do. Do you want that guilt? Do you want to live with blood on your hands?”

081204-sperm-crisisNot everyone agrees with Harlequin.  “Nothing is anyone’s fault; there are no moral absolutes or ethical responsibilities.  We do what we do, have a good time if we can, and die, that’s it,” said Harney O’Dickwadd, a professor of ethics from San Francisco, who despises common sense and head colds, but routinely refuses treatment for both.  “Whether you’re riding rockets into space, blowing up people you disagree with, or knocking up chicks with reckless abandon, it’s all the same.  If it was fun then that’s a reward worth the risk.  If you blow yourself up by accident, spread bad genes or disease, or something else happens that makes you unhappy, then it wasn’t worth it.  It’s all about me and having a good time.  I don’t care about anyone else.  I’m not responsible for anything I do.  And the U.S. government agrees.  They proved that by bailing out stupid mortgage lenders who mismanaged their businesses to the tune of $700 billion.  It’s the new morality baby.  Personal responsibility is dead, and is government approved.  I’m lovin it!”

Jules Klar, founder of Phoenix, Arizona-based RocketShip Tours, announced in a XCOR press release this week that his company is now selling rides to the edge of space for $95,000 per flight. Participants will fly aboard the Lynx, a two-seat suborbital vehicle being built by California-based XCOR Aerospace. XCOR Chief Test Pilot and three-time Space Shuttle Pilot and Commander, Rick Searfoss said the Lynx will carry people or payloads to the edges of space up to four times a day. Seated next to him in the co-pilot seat, participants will experience the thrill of a lifetime. The awe- inspiring view of the curvature of Earth, the thin blue mantle of the atmosphere below, and inky blackness of space above will provide participants with unforgettable memories beyond description. Klar said he was inspired by the revolutionary Lynx suborbital vehicle because it offers participants a unique and intimately personal experience. “You’re sitting in a cockpit in the co-pilot’s seat beside your astronaut pilot, with a panoramic view of the stars above and Earth below. It is the ride of your life!”

Ahmadinejad

Ahmadinejad

Times Online reported that Iran poses the greatest foreign policy challenge to Barack Obama, the U.S. President-elect, with Tehran on course to produce a nuclear bomb in the first year of an Obama administration, according to a coalition of top think-tanks. The warning came in a report entitled “Restoring the Balance”. The Middle East strategy for the President-elect was drafted by the Council for Foreign Relations and the Brookings Institution. Mr Obama must keep his promises of direct talks with Tehran and engage the Middle East region as a whole if he is to halt a looming crisis that could be revisited on the US, the experts said. Gary Samore, one of the authors, said that the level of alarm over the “hornet’s nest” facing the President-elect in the Middle East, and the need for the swift adoption of previously untested approach, had inspired the decision to write policy for him. “New administrations can choose new policies but they can’t choose next contexts,” Mr Samore said.

Help wanted

Help wanted

United Press International reported that a Dutchman known as Europe’s most committed sperm donor says he’s fathered 46 children and is willing to keep at it. “I do it because I know how hard it is for people who desperately want a child,” said Ed Houben, a tourism guide from Maastricht. One of the reasons Houben is so popular, he said, is because many men stopped donating sperm three years ago when the United Kingdom said donors no longer could remain anonymous. As a result, British women are going to other countries to find a sperm donor or having sperm samples sent to them, said Houben, noting women find out about him through the Internet and through word of mouth. Houben, who said he’s never had sex with any of his children’s mothers, recently held a party at his home for his children and their families. “The kids had the chance to play with their half-brothers and sisters, which was nice, said Houben.

Some people say that there’s way too much sex and violence in the world and that if XCOR could launch some common decency into the Middle East, they’d happily pay twice the $95,000.

“People spend way too much time worrying about sex and violence instead of living day-to-day with good common sense, a modicum of personal responsibility and just being nice to each other,” said a passing postal recipient, whose rippling biceps and muscular torso often distracts people from hearing what he’s saying. “I’m not a prude who believes that everyone has to think the way I do, or even a person who is against blowing up another nation if they deserve it.  But to call for the destruction of another country because they’re Jewish, like Iran has, or to use innocent taxpayers’ money to bail out millionaire CEO’s who mismanaged their company’s, is just wrong.  This story would have been so much better if it could have been written about sperm donors and fun trips on rockets without having to consider an Iranian prompted nuclear holocaust.  If the Iranian citizens won’t do it, then we have to take down President Ahmadinejad and his nuclear ambitions.  It’s as simple and as complicated as that.  A sad truth perhaps, but a truth just the same.”

In other news, Associated Press reported Monday that a Muslim graveyard in India has refused to bury nine gunmen who terrorized Mumbai over three days last week, leaving at least 172 people dead and wreaking havoc at some of its most famous landmarks. The men are not true followers of the Islamic faith, according to the influential Muslim Jama Masjid Trust, which runs the 7.5-acre (three-hectare) Badakabrastan graveyard in downtown Mumbai. “People who committed this heinous crime cannot be called Muslim,” said Hanif Nalkhande, a trustee. “Islam does not permit this sort of barbaric crime.” No word on how Nalkhande feels about Iran’s plan to wipe Israel off the face of the earth, or Dutchmen who donate sperm to the spermless, but perhaps the fact that a Muslim has declared other Muslims wrong when they indiscriminately killed other people, will offer some hope to those of us who just want to pursue a little bit of life, liberty and happiness, before we slip the surly bonds of earth and touch the face of God.

(C) 2008 InebriatedPress.com

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