Tag Archives: obama

Legalizing Marijuana for Tax Money, Obama Endangering America, and More Soldiers Getting Knocked Up

> California Government Broke, May Legalize Marijuana for New Tax Revenue
> Former U.S. V.P. says Terrorist attack more likely under Obama administration
> Growing Number of Servicewomen Getting Pregnant

Inebriated Press
May 12, 2009

At least it's not Crack!

At least it's not Crack!

The Christian Science Monitor reported Friday that California government officials say it is time to consider decriminalizing marijuana and imposing big revenue-generating state taxes on it.  And Sunday, The Washington Times reported that former Vice President Dick Cheney said that the Obama administrations dismantling of many of the policies and protections instituted by the Bush administration after the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks, makes the country more vulnerable to another attack.  Meanwhile, the UK Daily Star reported Sunday that Britain will not allow pregnant servicewomen to serve in areas of “danger” and that at least 133 Brit service women have been sent home from Afghanistan and Iraq after getting pregnant. Others are becoming pregnant in Britain so they can’t be shipped to serve in other countries or at sea. Some people say, you do whatever it takes to get what you want in the short-term, regardless the long-term risk.

Someone named Emma

Someone named Emma

“It’s about now, everything really is, and you can’t do anything in the future if you’re killed in Iraq anyway, so get knocked up and stay home, you can always dump the kid in an orphanage.  And the key to fixing California’s budget crisis now is to legalize drugs – addictive ones are the best – and then tax them like crazy, we can always get the federal government to fund an anti-drug program later,” said Emma Hipflex-Microfibre, a geneticist and part-time dancer down at the Twist and Shout DNA Lounge.  “As far as Obama dismantling anti-terrorism strategies, prosecuting CIA officials for protecting the country and all of that; well, like he said, he won the election so he can do what he wants.  It’s an extension of his apology tour and shows that when he said there was no war against terror and that there were merely some people in other countries dissatisfied with America, that he actually believes that.  He’s got a 90% approval rating among Democrats and that’s his base.  Also the Arab’s like him better than Bush, and that’s important to him.  Who cares that only 17% of Republicans like him and that business is afraid of him.  If the U.S. is attacked again it’ll probably be a bunch of American’s at work like last time, and most of them are Republicans or conservatives anyway.  Obama’s got nothing to lose.”

Someone named Adriana

Someone named Adriana

Not everyone agrees with Hipflex-Microfibre.  “Near-term considerations are important, yes, but you can’t ignore the long-term ramifications of decisions being made today.  That’s true whether it’s Obama setting the stage today for a terrorist debacle tomorrow, the legalization of drugs today so governments are addicted to the tax revenue and end up drug pushers tomorrow, and a military force that appears the proper size today, but is suddenly slashed when a chunk of the soldiers are voluntarily knocked up and out of commission tomorrow.  We can’t afford to behave like this,” said Adriana Nodoze-Spasm, an aluminum welder and part-time medium who twitches a lot and hasn’t slept since Obama’s inauguration due to the visions she’s been having.  “I’m a hell of a welder and can stick together most metals under almost any condition, but I can’t weld that kind of logic into a solid piece of rationality that is structurally sound.  I’m not saying that some of this crap won’t work near-term, but it’s the long-term that has me concerned.  And I eat right, work out and stay in shape, so I’m planning to be around in the long-term.  We’ve got to think smarter about this shit.”

Do it, Smoke it, Tax it

Do it, Smoke it, Tax it

The Christian Science Monitor reported that California’s governor said it was time to debate legalizing marijuana, and a new nationwide poll suggests a majority of voters favor decriminalizing the drug. California Assemblyman Tom Ammiano, (D) from San Francisco, has proposed legislation to begin treating marijuana like alcohol – giving anyone over 21 the right to use it but taxing it heavily. Taxing marijuana, supporters of Mr. Ammiano’s bill say, could bring the cash-strapped state $1.3 billion annually. Already the state collects about $18 million annually from medical marijuana. In a poll released last Wednesday by Zogby International, 52 percent of voters said they would support legalizing, taxing, and regulating marijuana use. According to the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA), marijuana is the most commonly used illicit drug in the country. “It’s hard to say that using marijuana will ruin your life when the last three American presidents are admitted marijuana users,” said Paul Armentano, deputy director of the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws (NORML).

Don't worry, Obama has things under control

Don't worry, Obama has things under control

The Washington Times reported that former Vice President Dick Cheney on Sunday said that the country is more vulnerable to a potential terrorist attack since the Obama administration took power. Mr. Cheney said that administration’s dismantling of many of the policies and protections instituted by President George W. Bush after the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks — including the planned closing of the Guantanamo Bay detention camp in Cuba and halting controversial prisoner interrogation techniques — have made the country more vulnerable to future attacks. “That’s my belief,” Mr. Cheney said on CBS’ “Face the Nation.” “I think to the extent that those [Bush-era] policies were responsible for saving lives, that the administration is now trying to cancel those policies … means in the future we’re not going to have the same safeguards we’ve had for the last eight years.”

New tactics for a new world

New tactics for a new world

The former vice president defended controversial interrogation techniques such as waterboarding, saying that it had been an effective tool in extracting useful information from suspected terrorists such as Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, who is accused of helping carry out the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks Washington and New York. “He did not cooperate fully in terms of interrogations until after waterboarding,” Mr. Cheney said. “Once we went through that process, he produced vast quantities of invaluable information about al Qaida.” Mr. Obama in January banned the practice on prisoners by U.S. interrogators. Mr. Cheney said he believes it’s his duty to speak out against the Obama administration “because I think the issues that are at stake here are so important.”

Hard men are good to find, or something like that

Hard men are good to find, or something like that

The Daily Star reported that at least 133 Brit servicewomen have been sent home from Afghanistan and Iraq after getting pregnant. 102 of British servicewomen returned early from Iraq between January 1, 2003 and February 28 of this year because they were expecting. And at least 31 female squaddies were flown home from Afghanistan for the same reason. Some are becoming pregnant before leaving Britain and others while on their mid-tour two-week rest and recuperation break. Many will have conceived by romping while on operations – potentially breaking forces’ rules. Pregnant women cannot be sent to Iraq or Afghanistan, nor can they go to sea in the Royal Navy. The shocking numbers were released by the Ministry of Defence (MoD) after a Freedom of Information request by the Daily Star Sunday. An MoD spokesman said: “All our forces are expected to behave within the Armed Forces Code of Conduct. If women become or discover they are pregnant on operations they are returned to the UK at the first  opportunity for their own wellbeing and to preserve  effectiveness.” Sex between servicemen and women in Iraq or Afghanistan could lead to misconduct charges if it caused a drop in military efficiency. Some observers say sex on tour cannot be stopped.

Others say sex plus violence is the biggest rush of all.

Babe without babe, some just soldier on

Babe without babe, some just soldier on

“You will never separate sex and violence, and that’s true whether it’s in the movies or on the battlefield.  They go together like adrenaline, testosterone and estrogen — it’s the bodies minefield and procreation system all lumped together, the way nature intended,” said a passing soldier and part-time healthcare philosopher who volunteered for duty in Iraq five years ago, and volunteers for duty daily to help female soldiers get knocked up.  “Until you’ve survived battlefield conditions fighting side by side and then get tucked in together safely in a quiet place in the peace that falls after the fight, you have no idea what sex can really be like.  It’s a whole new level of orgasm.  Live hard, fight hard, screw hard. That’s what I say, and to those babes who sign up for a piece of that, I say hooah and let’s saddle up!”

In other news, The Arizona Republic reported Saturday that the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) launched a hiring push in January and is still looking for employees. Phoenix spokesman Manuel Johnson said the organization considers all kinds of candidates for positions ranging from administrative to managerial, technical and lab work. Accountants, engineers, lawyers and scientists are among the most sought-after candidates. There are only about 12,500 in the world, and the agency usually hires between 800 and 1,000 nationally every fiscal year, Johnson said. Depending on the region to which they are assigned, new agents can take home between $61,100 and $69,900 annually. No word on how they feel about legalizing marijuana, dumbing down America’s terrorist defense system or how many FBI agents get knocked up each year, but if you’re looking to stay in the U.S. and bust some crooks, you may be the person they’re looking for.  Hooah and go saddle up!

(C) 2009 InebriatedPress.com

 

Source articles:

A marijuana tax as the next new revenue stream?
http://news.yahoo.com/s/csm/20090508/ts_csm/apot

Cheney: Obama endangers the nation
http://washingtontimes.com/news/2009/may/10/cheney-says-obama-endangers-nation/

ARMY GIRLS CAUGHT IN BATTLE OF THE BULGE
http://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/view/80115/Army-girls-caught-in-battle-of-the-bulge/

Do you have what it takes to join the FBI?
http://www.azcentral.com/business/articles/2009/05/08/20090508biz-fbi0509.html?&wired

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Obama Enjoys Anti-American Rants, Cheerleaders Enjoy Strip Clubs, and NATO runs Catch-and-Release Pirate Program

> Nicaraguan President rips America, Obama quietly takes notes
> High School cheerleaders take field trip to strip club
> NATO rescues fishermen from pirates, then frees the hijackers

Inebriated Press
April 22, 2009

HunksFox News reported Saturday that at the Summit of the Americas this past weekend, Nicaraguan President Daniel Ortega ripped the U.S. as a terrorist nation for over 50 minutes, while President Obama sat listening quietly and taking notes.  And MSNBC reported last Friday that an Ohio teacher took a group of high school cheerleaders on a field trip to a male strip club.  Meanwhile, Fox News reported Saturday that NATO forces rescued 20 fishermen from pirates in the Gulf of Aden, but let the Somali hijackers go because they had no authority to arrest them.  Pundits are debating trends in leadership based on anti-Americanism, pro-pirate anti-hijacking, and sex-based field trips for underage schoolchildren. 

Someone named Maggie

Someone named Maggie

“The adults are all gone from American government and education, and all that’s left are people with the emotional equivalent of children, lacking both common sense and even the tiniest grasp of reality,” said Maggie Mae-Mooreless, an accountant and weightlifter who doubles as a hot blonde when she feels like it.  “Obama enjoyed Ortega’s rant against America because he felt like he was a kid again back in Jeremiah Wright’s church where he listened to him rant against the U.S. for twenty years.  Or, maybe it was like hanging with his Chicago neighbor Bill Ayers the Pentagon bomber who held fundraising events for Barack at his home where they talked treason. It probably felt like homecoming.  As far as NATO releasing pirate hijackers after catching them and then freeing their captives — that’s just beyond stupid.  Only the cheerleaders who want to hang with male stripers have a clue what they’re really doing.”

Ahmadinejad

Ahmadinejad

Not everyone agrees with Mae-Mooreless.  “There is nothing wrong with Obama admitting that America is a terrible country, responsible for all of the evil in the world, I’ve been saying that for years,” said Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, sharing an anti-American mind meld with Nicaraguan President Daniel Ortega, but adding a few racial aspersions against the Jews.  “Bill Ayers is a patriot of the highest order and everyone should be bombing the Pentagon and preaching poetic anti-American diatribes in churches, synagogues and Mosques.  And then of course beheading infidels and other people I disagree with; taking money from hard working citizens who earn it and handing it around to those who don’t.  Basic bedlam and chaos, for god sake.  Prepping the way for the 12th Imam and Islam dominating the world and all that.  I wouldn’t mind a cheerleader or two to encourage this stuff.  Somali’s would do, they’ve got the right attitude.”

Hil & Obi

Hil & Obi

Fox News reported that at the Summit of the Americas this past weekend President Obama endured a 50-minute diatribe from socialist Nicaraguan President Daniel Ortega that lashed out at a century of what he called terroristic U.S. aggression in Central America and included a rambling denunciation of the U.S.-imposed isolation of Cuba’s Communist government. Obama sat mostly unmoved during the speech but at times jotted notes. The speech was part of the opening ceremonies at the fifth Summit of the Americas here.

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said, “I thought the cultural performance was fascinating.” Asked again about the Ortega speech, Clinton said: “To have those first class Caribbean entertainers all on one stage and to see how much was done in such a small amount of space, I was overwhelmed.” A senior administration official declined to criticize Ortega, saying the president wanted to focus on the future. Ortega’s speech, indulgent even by regional standards, also mocked the very summit he was attending and helping to open. Later, at a photo opportunity with Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper, Obama held his tongue when asked what he thought about Ortega’s speech. In his 17-minute address to the summit, Obama misspoke on the sequence of events in Cuba.

CheerleadersMSNBC reported that a Butler Tech school district spokesman says teacher Lori Epperson took four high school cheerleaders to a male strip club.  Epperson has resigned from her teaching position in southwest Ohio. Epperson told school officials she had gotten permission from the parents of the 17- and 18-year-olds to bring them to Club Masque in Dayton. She says the girls asked her to take them to the bar.
 

Pirates, born to be free, even of NATO

Pirates, born to be free, even of NATO

Fox News reported that NATO forces rescued 20 fishermen from pirates who launched the latest attack in the Gulf of Aden on Saturday, but let the Somali hijackers go because they had no authority to arrest them. The release underscored the difficulties of stopping the skyrocketing piracy scourge in the Horn of Africa, where sea bandits also seized a Belgian-flagged ship carrying 10 foreign crew near the Seychelles islands and started hauling it toward Somalia.

“There isn’t a silver bullet” to solve the problem, said Roger Middleton, a piracy expert at London-based think-tank Chatham House. He said it’s common for patrolling warships to disarm then free brigands because they have rarely have jurisdiction to try them.

Some people say that instead of searching for a silver bullet, a few lead ones will do the trick.

Someone named Stacy

Someone named Stacy

“Blow the bastards away on the high seas or hang them from the yard arm the old fashioned way, but for crying out loud, when you catch them in the act of piracy, you don’t free them, holy shit,” said Stacy Anne-Freeport, an auto mechanic and pro-American citizen who values freedom, independence and the American way of life.  “Get some good old fashioned common sense back and we’ll solve half the world’s problems in an afternoon.”

In other news, Fox News reported that Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad unleashed a blistering attack Monday against Israel and the United States, calling the Jewish state “racist” and lashing out at Americans for their support. Ahmadinejad called Israel the “most cruel and racist regime.” He followed by blaming the United States, Europe and Israel for the world’s financial crisis.  No word on whether Obama had anyone there taking notes for him, but when he sits down without conditions to chat about nukes with Ahmadinejad I’m guessing they’ll have plenty of anti-American ideas in common.

(C) 2009 InebriatedPress.com

Source articles:

Obama Endures Ortega Diatribe
http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/04/18/obama-endures-ortega-diatribe/

Strip club field trip
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30264815/

NATO Rescues 20 Fishermen From Pirates, Belgian Ship Seized
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,517042,00.html

Ahmadinejad Attacks Israel, U.S. at U.N. Racism Conference
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,517151,00.html

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Holy Shit! Obama Nails Queen Liz

> Michelle slaps Queen on Back
> Barack Nails Her Ass
> U.S. Surrenders to Russia

Inebriated Press Tabloid Division
April 7, 2009

Moments before sling-shot incident

Moments before sling-shot incident

Inebriated reporters climbing out of a dumpster behind a British pub after a night of heavy investigative journalism, have reported that U.S. President Obama and Queen Elizabeth went at it “hot and heavy” the evening before the G-20 meeting.  Earlier in the day First Lady Michelle slapped the Queen on her back hard enough to loosen her bra, and Russian President Dmitry Medvedev told reporters that Obama is willing to concede world power to peacenik Vladimir Putin and some old Soviets.  There has been some dispute over the Inebriated report.

Someone named Jane

Someone named Jane

“While there is some truth to the news that First Lady Michelle Obama slapped the Queen on her back causing her bra to slingshot across the room and out a side window, there is no truth to the story that the Queen and Barack had sexual intercourse in an effort to ‘firm up’ US-UK relations,” said Jane Fireside-Charcoal, a British public relations official and smoldering hot blonde.  “There have been reports by Royal sources of an internal nature suggesting a very cordial meeting held privately between the U.S. President and The Queen, but any suggestion that there were carnal activities of some nature is grossly misstated.  And comments related to blow jobs is strictly denied at the highest levels of government.”

Insiders claim otherwise.  “The removal of the Queens bra may have been accidental, but the ‘quality time’ that Barack spent with Liz involved more than a fire-side chat,” said Nasal Sinus-Stuart, of the Sinus-Stuart Clan and Handholding Enclave for Maidens and Hooligans.  “Servants said they heard a lot of moaning and groaning from behind the locked doors during the private meeting, and reports of chauffeurs outside hearing the Queen shout ‘they were right about you people, look at the size of that thing,’ tends to lend credence to the stories.  Now on the topic of American surrender to the Russians, I can’t say, such talk would be mere speculation.”

Another gratuitous Jane Pic

Another gratuitous Jane Pic

Media reported last week that President Obama spent the day of April 1st in a whirlwind of activity in London prior to the official start of the G20 meeting.  He had dinner with G20 nations’ leaders, held a joint press conference with Prime Minister Gordon Brown, met Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip, met with Russian’s President, Dmitry Medvedev, met with Chinese President Hu Jintao as well as with David Cameron, leader of the Conservative party in Britain.  It took until this week for reports of secret meetings to reveal that Obama had negotiated a formal surrender to the Russians and banged the old Queen.

The Obama administration and British officials continue to deny the secret activities ever took place.

Beyonce

Beyonce

“Come on lets face it, Barack is busy surrendering to the Iranians not the Russians, and he can have a piece of Beyonce’ ass anytime he wants it, why screw with an old woman just because she’s queen,” said White House spokesman Robert Gibbs, while chewing the side of his face and accidentally spitting blood on reporters.  “You people make me sick with all of your fake stories and stupid tabloid ‘revelations’.  The next thing you’re probably going to report is that Secret Service couldn’t find the Queens bra outside in the bushes when it shot out the window.  Well they didn’t.  MI5 found it. Ha!”

(C) 2009 InebriatedPress.com

Some barely related source articles:

G20 Summit Eve: Obama met with Queen and Presidents of Russia, China
http://www.examiner.com/x-5890-Obama-Administration-Examiner~y2009m4d2-G20-Summit-Eve-Obama-met-with-Queen-and-Presidents-of-Russia-China

Michelle Obama Places Hand on The Queen. World Almost Ends.
http://www.nypress.com/blog-3807-michelle-obama-places-hand-on-the-queen-world-almost-ends.html

U.S.- Russian Nuclear Talks Reject Past Leaders’ Policies, Officials Say
http://www.globalsecuritynewswire.org/gsn/nw_20090402_2551.php

President Obama loves Beyonce, ‘SNL’
http://popwatch.ew.com/popwatch/2009/01/obama-beyonce-j.html

Beyonce ‘a model for Obama girls’
http://www.google.com/hostednews/ukpress/article/ALeqM5iQvlE9n67hnmRNIshQCd3dzhFceg

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White House Sex Chat Line, Assisted Suicide for the Healthy, and New Legalized Rape Law

> Journalists calling in for Obama conference get sex chat line
> Swiss clinic to help healthy woman kill herself
> Afghan President establishes law sanctioning marital rape

Inebriated Press \ Division of Rant (with Pretzels)
April 6, 2009

Miss Sex Chat & Miss Legal Rape

Miss Sex Chat & Miss Legal Rape

Agence France Presse (AFP) reported last Thursday that journalists in the U.S. calling a toll-free number to join a conference call with President Obama in London, instead had their call answered with the line “Do you feel like getting nasty?” — as a sultry voiced Swank magazine sex-chat woman picked up their call.  And Times Online reported last Friday that the Swiss assisted-suicide clinic Dignitas was criticized after revealing plans to help a healthy woman to die. The clinic’s founder described suicide as a “marvelous opportunity” that should not be restricted to the terminally ill.  Meanwhile, Afghan President Karzai provoked international outrage with a draconian Taleban-era law that explicitly sanctions marital rape.  Pundits are debating whether the White House sex chat line can offset the trillions in new Obamanomic spending enough that they’ll want to remain in the country, or if they should just rape their wives and commit suicide instead.

White House Operator

White House Operator

“I have to hand it to Obama, I’d never have thought of putting a sex chat line in the White House.  He’s one-upping Clinton who used to rent out the Lincoln Bedroom for orgies.  If Obama instructs the travel office to offer a package to the public with sex-chat followed by a hooker-rendezvous in the Lincoln Bedroom, I’ll bet he can rake in a lot of bucks and offset part of the $12 trillion in spending that he’s initiated in the last 60 days,” said Zack Loft-Basement, a chief-of-staff wanna-be and occasional user.  “But if Obama doesn’t get spending under control and give some tax relief to business in order to truly stimulate the economy, we’re going to end up with hyper inflation and draconian taxation.  My wife will get really frigid I’ll be left to rape her and kill myself — all according to acceptable laws of course — but still, it’d be a real bother.”

Someone named Cathy

Someone named Cathy

Not everyone thinks the way Loft-Basement does.  “I have mixed feelings about the White House sex chat line, just like I did the Condi Rice nude calendar to help fund the State Department, and Bill Clinton selling nude pic’s of Hillary to fund her run for president.  It just seems like maybe we’re going too far and should just cut some costs or something,” said Cathy Scot-Ireland-Tissue, a genius in her own mind and a sex tramp in the minds of others.  “And anyone who condones raping women for any reason should be assigned to an assisted-suicide clinic and be removed from the land of the living.  I do have to wonder about the clinic that plans to help healthy people kill themselves though.  Do you suppose they’ve considered maybe recommending some mental health counseling instead?  I don’t like to be on anti-depressant drugs either, but it seems a bit drastic to just off yourself.”

AFP reported that journalists based in the United States got a shock last Thursday when they dialed a toll-free number to join a conference call with senior officials accompanying US President Barack Obama in London. The number turned out to be a sex chat line inviting callers to use their credit card numbers. “Do you have any hidden desires?” a sultry voiced woman asked. “Well, do you feel like getting nasty? Then you came to the right place — brought to you by the girls of Swank magazine,” she said. Reporters finally got through to the two officials in London — National Security Advisor James Jones and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton — when they gave up on the US “800” number and instead dialed an international number. The White House did not offer an explanation when asked how it sent the wrong number in an email listing both numbers — one for journalists in the United States and the other for those overseas.

Purveyor of Death

Purveyor of Death

Times Online reported that the founder of the Swiss assisted suicide clinic Dignitas was criticized yesterday after revealing plans to help a healthy woman to die alongside her terminally ill husband. Ludwig Minelli described suicide as a “marvelous opportunity” that should not be restricted to the terminally ill or people with severe disabilities. Critics said that the plans highlighted the risks of proposals to legalize assisted suicides in Britain for people in the final stages of a terminal illness.

The Zurich University Clinic has found that more than a fifth of people who had died at Dignitas did not have a terminal condition. Mr Minelli admitted that some of the people who had been helped to die at the clinic had been psychiatric patients with schizophrenia and bipolar disorders. A spokesman for Care Not Killing, a campaign opposed to any weakening of the law on euthanasia or assisted suicide, said that Mr Minelli’s comments showed why any legalization of assisted dying would open a “Pandora’s box of nightmare scenarios”.

Sweet rapable girl

Sweet rapable girl

Times Online also reported that President Karzai of Afghanistan provoked international outrage last Thursday with draconian Taleban-era restrictions on women and laws that explicitly sanction marital rape. A leaked copy of the laws obtained by The Times details new strictures for Afghanistan’s Shia minority. Women are banned from leaving the home without permission. A wife has the absolute duty to provide sexual services to her husband, and child marriage is legalized. Opponents of the Afghan President accused him of selling out basic human rights for women in return for the votes of hardline Shia conservatives for the presidential election in August. The legislation is based on the Shia family code first brought before Parliament two years ago, to the horror of women legislators who make up more than a quarter of the assembly. Women MPs said that they had been powerless to challenge the passage of the Bill. “The majority of the men agreed to support the laws without any discussion,” said Azita Raffat, an MP from Badghis province. “The law says it is the right of men to have sex — even by force.”

Pioneer

Pioneer

Some people say that the new law which sanctions forced marriage of young girls and their subsequent rape accurately suits Darwinistic tendencies of nature and that confused moralists and Judeo-Christians have a twisted view of humankind that makes them think that all individuals should have rights and be afforded a modicum of dignity.

Assisted Suicide Toon“The strong survive and the weak perish.  Draconian rape and child marriage law, and Sharia law, these stem from religion and atheistic Darwinism and combine to form a perfect synergy of relativistic power-based control, as natural as the tsunami, the hurricane, and swarms of locusts,” said I.B. Humpin-Daley, a part time cleric and full time vagrant who likes Obama’s style and lack of substance.  “The pansy assed American religious types who say shit like ‘everyone is created equal and are endowed by their creator with inalienable rights like life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness’ are morons.  Their time has passed.  Obama has proven it by his approach to the leaders at the G-20.  He patted the Brit Queen on the ass and handed her an iPod, then went and bowed deeply and kissed the ring of the Saudi King.  He’s got this shit figured out. Muslim power and Sharia law are coming to America in the form of hope and change.  It’s about power baby, power.  And America is surrendering it to everybody else.  Why else would Hillary tell the Mexicans that their drug war was Americas problem, or Obama tell the G-20 that the worlds economic crisis was Americas fault?  He didn’t sit for 20 years with Jeremiah Wright’s anti-American diatribes and learn nothing you know.  Damn straight.  He’s acting on his beliefs.”

USA Sharia Law Pioneer

USA Sharia Law Pioneer

In other news, the New York Post reported on Thursday that President Obama has nominated Harold Koh to be the State Department’s legal advisor.  Koh believes that judges should interpret the U.S. Constitution according to other nations’ legal “norms.” And that Sharia law applies to disputes in US courts. He also says that the United States constitutes an “axis of disobedience” along with North Korea and Saddam-era Iraq. According to the Post Koh, a self-described “activist,” would plainly promote his views aggressively once at State. He’s not likely to feel limited by the letter of the law — in 1994, he told The New Republic: “I’d rather have [former Supreme Court Justice Harry] Blackmun, who uses the wrong reasoning in Roe [v. Wade] to get the right results, and let other people figure out the right reasoning.” No word on how he feels about raping young girls or killing healthy people but in this new era of hope and change, all bets are off.

(C) 2009 InebriatedPress.com

Source articles:

Journalists get shock with ‘sexy’ White House call
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20090402/od_afp/uswhousenatomediasexoffbeat_20090402223328

Dignitas founder plans assisted suicide of healthy woman
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article6021947.ece

President Karzai’s Taleban-style laws for women put troop surge at risk
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/asia/article6025362.ece

OBAMA’S MOST PERILOUS LEGAL PICK
http://www.nypost.com/seven/03302009/postopinion/opedcolumnists/obamas_most_perilous_legal_pick_161961.htm?page=0

Comments Off on White House Sex Chat Line, Assisted Suicide for the Healthy, and New Legalized Rape Law

Filed under Division of Rant (with Pretzels), Humor, Op-Ed

New Drug Control’s Love and Hate; Hamas Converts Medical Supplies into Bombs; and Muslim Peace-nik Beheads Wife

Inebriated Press
February 20, 2009

The Love Drug do'in it's thang

The Love Drug do'in it's thang

Tufts Daily, a university newspaper, reported last week that a new drug that can make people fall in and out of love is in the early stages of testing, and may create and control romantic emotions. And United Press International reported last week that members of the militant group Hamas used medicine bottles delivered to the Gaza Strip to make grenades.  Meanwhile, Muzzammil Hassan, founder of Bridges TV — designed to portray Muslims in a more positive light — was charged last week by police with murder for beheading his wife. Pundits are debating whether some things are really different than they seem, but remain confident that the trillion dollar bill that Obama signed into U.S. law is really a stimulus package and not the foundation for restructuring the U.S. into a socialist nation.

Someone named Suzie

Someone named Suzie

“Just because only 3 percent of spending in the Obama Plan takes place in 2009 and all the rest occurs in later years and the federal government will grow 30 percent in size, doesn’t mean that Obama really intends to change America even though he’s said that’s his plan all along,” said Susi Q-Tipp, a part-time welder and stripper at the Happy Hooker Lounge and Machine Works.  “And the provisions creating a healthcare czar, funding a nation-wide computer system to collect and track every citizens health records, and establish a panel to review all health related doctors decisions and rank them, doesn’t mean he has any intention of creating a national healthcare system.  Besides, once the love drug is available and in our water supply we’ll love everything he does.  And what’s wrong with converting some medical supplies donated to Hamas into bombs, or beheading a spouse if that’s part of your culture.  Easy come, easy go, I say. Live and let die.”

090220-obamaacorn-b-w1Not everyone agrees with Q-Tipp.  “I suppose a drug could be created that makes me fall in-to and out-of love based on how much I take and when, but I still can’t shake the notion that Obama’s plan to change America is exactly what he intends to do, since he’s said that’s his plan and continues to say so,” said Tom Thumb-Naill, an accountant and nay-sayer who spends an inordinate amount of free time managing financial risk and accumulating condoms ‘just in case’. “Terrorists convert medical supplies into bombs and a Muslim beheads his wife after creating a TV station to help sell Westerners the idea that Islam is a peaceful religion.  What a big surprise.  Experts say Obama’s plan will not stimulate the economy and that it will have to work itself out on its own, while Obama’s plan will jack up the federal governments’ size and cost, while creating new funding for ACORN and other leftist pet initiatives.  That’s supposed to be a surprise too?  He is who he told Joe the Plumber he is: an income redistributionist; and he’s using the Plan to slide around income while opening up new interpretations via his Executive Orders, and shifting the U.S. Census Bureau to the White House so it can restructure the vote for 2012.  A Socialist restructuring a country to get what he wants into perpetuity is surprising to you?  Ha. Same old same old.”

090220-romance1-b-wThe Tufts Daily reported that a new drug that can make people fall in and out of love is in the early stages of testing, and its development may be a one-way ticket to controlling romantic emotion. The idea for this drug — and prospective vaccine — is based on the research of neuroscientist Dr. Larry Young. Young worked with animals called prairie voles, which are among the small minority of mammals — less than five percent — who share humans’ propensity for monogamy. When a female prairie vole’s brain is artificially infused with oxytocin, a hormone that produces neural rewards comparable to those created by substances such as nicotine and cocaine, she will quickly become attached to the nearest male. A related hormone, vasopressin, creates urges for bonding and nesting in male voles.

The research also revealed that male voles with a genetically limited vasopressin response were less likely to find mates. Young’s corresponding research found that men with a similar genetic tendency were less likely to commit. Theoretically, if used to its fullest potential, the new drug could effectively harness these chemicals and be used to make people experience emotions of love. Conversely, it could also be used to prevent people from feeling such sentiments simply by receiving an injection of the substance. Even if Young were able to construct a drug that worked perfectly for humans, there are a number of ethical questions that come into play when dealing with an emotion as fragile and peculiar as love.

090220_peaceful_muslims_behead-b-wUPI reported that members of the militant group Hamas used medicine bottles delivered to the Gaza Strip to make grenades, an Israeli Defense Ministry official said. The official said Hamas created the explosive devices to use them against Israeli forces, The Jerusalem Post reported Friday. The bottles were sent by Israel for humanitarian aid, the official said.

“This is another example of Hamas’s cynical use of humanitarian supplies to attack Israel,” the official said. “Israel facilitates the transfer of the supplies to the Gaza Strip, and Hamas uses the supplies to create weapons.” Israeli forces located several of the undetonated homemade grenades in northern Gaza while taking part in military action against Hamas last month.

Muzzammil and AAsiya when she still had her head

Muzzammil and AAsiya when she still had her head

The Buffalo News reported last week that Orchard Park police are investigating a particularly gruesome killing, the beheading of a woman, after her husband — an influential member of the local Muslim community — reported her death to police last Thursday. Muzzammil Hassan, founder of Bridges TV, is charged with murder in the beheading of his wife, Aasiya Hassan. Hassan is CEO of Bridges TV, which he launched in 2004, amid hopes that it would help portray Muslims in a more positive light. The killing apparently occurred some time late last Thursday afternoon. Authorities say Aasiya Hassan recently had filed for divorce from her husband.

Some people say that the West needs to be more tolerant of other cultures and their beliefs.

090220-radicalislam-b-w“It is common for people in Muslim countries to saw the heads off of people they disagree with, and even family members who have shamed them; this is good and proper behavior for a people who should be dominating the world,” said Ima Kikyourazz-Squared, a cleric and weapons trafficker who does both at the same time.  “The West has been so intolerant of our culture that we must wipe Israel and America off the face of the earth, so help us god, so that totalitarian freedom will reign.  We’re pleased that Obama is closing Guantanamo and dumbing down the U.S. rules of engagement so that fewer of us will experience discomfort if we’re arrested and taken to U.S. court.  It seems silly that some in the U.S. don’t understand our plans or Obama’s when we’ve both made ourselves clear.  Still, that’s what separates the stupid from the strong.  And we are strong.  Want to surrender your necks to our blades now or do it during Obama’s second term?”

Healthy Penis

Healthy Penis

In other news, NBC Bay Area reported last week that San Franciscans are rejoicing over their favorite mascot — the Healthy Penis.  The campaign began in 2002 after the San Francisco Department of Health conducted several focus groups to see how best to raise awareness about syphilis in the city and how best to persuade gay men to get screened. The city says the campaign was a huge success because it led to a significant decrease in syphilis cases. The Healthy Penis was later introduced in Los Angeles, Portland, Philadelphia, Seattle, Santa Clara County and in Winnipeg, Canada but in a less provocative way we’re told.

090220-healthypenis4-b-w1The campaign has expanded to include an African-American penis named Byron the Penis and a Hispanic penis named Pedro the Penis as well. The original penis Clark is heading up the campaign and is still the most recognizable penis in the city. Phil the Sore is also back in the campaign trying to cause all the havoc that syphilis causes. Maybe the scariest part of it all is that the three penises have Facebook and My Space pages, while Phil has his own regularly updated Twitter page. No word on how much funding the Penis campaign will receive from Obama’s “stimulus package” but why give a shit now.

(C) 2009 InebriatedPress.com

Source Articles:

Love Potion #1: New drug could control love’s presence
http://www.tuftsdaily.com/1.1375307-1.1375307

Medicine bottles used for Hamas grenades
http://www.upi.com/Top_News/2009/02/13/Medicine_bottles_used_for_Hamas_grenades/UPI-50051234556744/

Prominent Orchard Park man charged with beheading his wife
http://www.buffalonews.com/437/story/578644.html

The City Welcomes Back Its Favorite Mascot
http://www.nbcbayarea.com/around_town/the_scene/Welcome-Back-Healthy-Penis.html

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Obama collectable flips off America, Beyonce to play JFK’s Marilyn Monroe to Barack; and Seattle man tries to sacrifice girlfriend

> Obama Coffee Cup Raises More Than Questions
> Beyonce and Barack hot for each other, Michelle issues threat
> Charges filed in man’s attempted ‘sacrifice’

Inebriated Press
February 2, 2009

Finger of Leadership

Finger of Leadership

The Denver Channel reported last week that a commemorative coffee cup sold by 7-Eleven shows the new president and a group of supporters with a hand in the background extending a middle finger.  And HipHop Crunch reported last week that Michelle Obama has threatened to ban Beyonce from the White House after learning that Barack is ga-ga for her and she caught Beyonce flirting with him during an inauguration dance.  Meanwhile, a Seattle man has been arrested for attempting to slit his girlfriends throat and sacrifice her on an alter he set up in their apartment.  Pundits are debating the nature of sex and presidential power, and the things we do for love.

Marilyn 2.0

Marilyn 2.0

“I’ll sacrifice that bitch if I catch Beyonce f***ing around with my man and pretending she’s Marilyn Monroe to JFK in this White House,” said someone claiming to be Michelle Obama, as she sat sharpening a Bowie Knife on the back of her hand, and accidentally starting a sofa on fire with her glare.  “We’re here, we got power and we’re going to live like royalty and change America into what we want.  And there’s no woman coming in here singing birthday songs and getting a piece of Barack’s ass they way Monroe did with Kennedy.  We may be bringing liberal politics back to this House, but we’re not bringing the backroom sex games.  I’ll bust both their asses with my bare hands if I catch them; don’t you doubt me now.”

Not everyone is worried about sex in the White House.  “Barack is president and he can flip-off whomever he wants and take whatever piece of ass he feels like – he’s the Man baby, he’s the Man,” said a passing troll with lint in his pockets and probably his brain.  “Once you got the power you do what you want and you remind people you got it.  That’s why Barack told the Republicans’ to remember that he won the damn election, and they’d better not forget it.  Michelle is his woman and if he wants some on the side, he’s free to get it.  ‘Celle better fall in line or she’ll be on the outside looking in.  Her name’s not got ‘president’ in front of it.  Who’s the bitch here anyway?”

090202-finger-of-711The Denver Channel reported that a commemorative coffee cup sold by 7-Eleven features a photo of the new president, the White House, and a group of supporters. In the background, among some upraised hands on the cup, is a hand displaying the middle finger.  Wayne Harrison the Senior Web Editor said they went to 7-Eleven and bought a cup, so they could study it. While there, they asked four customers what they thought. All four said it was definitely the middle finger. An informal poll around the newsroom resulted in a more mixed response. Some said it was middle finger, several others said it was the index finger, and a few said it could be either one.

Michelle waives one finger?

Michelle waives one finger?

HipHop Crunch reported that first Lady Michelle Obama has a message for Beyonce: You Shoulda Put A Ring On It–Step Off My Man! According to a scoop featured in the February 9 issue of The National Enquirer, Mrs. Obama recently threatened to have Beyonce Knowles-Carter banned from The White House after picking up on some quiet flirtation between the singer and President Barack Obama during the inauguration. “Beyonce has spent months gushing over President Obama,” says an Enquirer snitch, “And when she was in the same room with him, she couldn’t tear her eyes away from him.” Tabloid spies believe Beyonce may have a crush on the Commander-In-Chief–and that’s an accusation that has left Michelle Obama, 45, incensed. “Before things got out of hand, Michelle got word to Beyonce to tone things down or risk being banned from The White House in the future … She’s had a sore spot for Beyonce ever since a March 2007 fundraiser in New York City when her husband was all googly-eyed over Beyonce and asked for her autograph.”

Old tradition back in Seattle?

Old tradition back in Seattle?

The Seattle Post-Intelligencer reported that King County prosecutors filed assault charges Wednesday against a Seattle man accused of attempting to “sacrifice” his live-in girlfriend. According to police, Oumar Lam’s 26-year-old girlfriend arrived at their Queen Anne apartment Sunday to find him lying naked on a couch near a candle-lit altar. The woman told police she was seated on a bed when Lam attacked her from behind, pulling a pillowcase over her head and attempting to suffocate her. Pulling her head back, Lam, 31, allegedly sliced the woman’s throat while yelling in an unidentified language, according to court documents. She told police she attempted to break away from him as he pulled her toward the altar, at which he had apparently been praying for hours before her arrival. Police assert that Lam continued stabbing her during the struggle, cutting her chest, back and shoulder before she was able to dial 911. The woman, police said in court documents, “was extremely fearful that Lam was trying to kill her as part of a sacrifice.” The woman underwent emergency surgery at Harborview Medical Center after the incident and is expected to survive. Bail has not been set in the case for Lam, who remains in the King County Jail.

Some people say, sometimes love can hurt like hell.

Love hurts ...

Love hurts ...

“Having Beyonce trying to take your man, or your guy trying to slit your throat, is the price we women have to pay sometimes for the love we get to share,” said Emmy Hashish-Largess, an incense sales rep and blonde with black roots, whose occasions into consciousness are rarer than they used to be.  “Life can be hard sometimes and nobody and nothing is perfect.  If you can get to be first lady with a guy who wants to sleep around a little, hey you still got what you got and he ain’t go’in no where.  And maybe the guy you like wants to sacrifice you ’cause he loves you and his faith.  You got trade-offs.  I’m not saying it’s easy, but who said that life is?”

In other news, the Detroit Free Press reported last week that a Detroit woman and her seven children ages 9-18 are suing the Detroit Police Department for $15 million, because they allege officers attacked them without provocation in their home earlier this month. Tasha Flowers said last Thursday that approximately 14 police officers barged into her home in the 19000 block of Shrewsbury about 7:30 p.m. on Jan. 3 without a search warrant, demanding to know where drugs and guns were. After she explained she didn’t have any, she said they twisted her arm and tried to handcuff her, while her children and two of their friends were there. The following day, a police officer came back with $25 gift certificates to Wal-Mart and Target, $100 in cash and the promise to bring a cashmere coat because he felt bad about the alleged attack, Flowers said.

090202-sacrifice-pro-choiceNo word on whether the officers where flirting with Beyonce or thinking about sacrificing Flowers, but I guess an unprovoked attack by the cops is what some people have to endure to have the police support we need in a free society … or some bullshit like that.

(C) 2008 InebriatedPress.com

Source articles:

Obama Coffee Cup Raises More Than Questions
http://www.thedenverchannel.com/politics/18595829/detail.html#

Michelle Obama Beyonce White House Ban: Beyonce Accused Of Flirting With President Obama
http://hiphop.popcrunch.com/michelle-obama-beyonce-white-house-ban-beyonce-accused-of-flirting-with-president/

Charges filed in man’s attempted ‘sacrifice’
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/397830_assault29.html

Detroit Police Sued for $15 Million
http://www.freep.com/article/20090130/NEWS01/901300325/Detroit+woman+sues+police+for+$15+million

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Google Poised to Rule, Obama Poised to Dominate, and Robber’s Cash-Stash-Snatch Cache

> Google pursues agenda in D.C. using Obama connection
> Obama tells Republicans to bury Rush Limbaugh and “get along”
> Robbery defendant hid cash in her vagina

Inebriated Press
January 28, 2009

googleThe Los Angeles Times reported Saturday that after the inauguration took place in Washington D.C. last week, that Google Inc. officially became a political power player. And The New York Post reported that President Obama warned Republicans that they better stop listening to conservative radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh if they “want to get along.”  Meanwhile, West Virginia’s The Inter-Mountain paper reported that Randolph County investigating officer J.A. Burns recovered money from a robbers home, finding $21,060 “stashed in various places around the house,” including $1,690 concealed in Sarah Wallace’s vagina. Pundits are debating the growing power of Google, Obama and a cash-stash in today’s tricky economy.

Xaviera Hollander

Xaviera Hollander

“You can’t underestimate the power of cash in a down economy when it comes to landing deals, buying political power, or just crushing your enemies the way Obama is doing — although the power of a vagina to create wealth, families or just store money shouldn’t be underestimated either,” said Xaviera Hollander, a vaginal economist and former hooker.  “If I’m Google and I bought my way into Obama’s campaign and transition team, now that he’s in power you’re damn right I’m going to cash in.  Think of the power and influence of Obama 2.0 running on Google’s global infrastructure — for both Obama and Google. The combination of high tech media and communications, plus money and political power, is invincible.  You can screw less people and still do whatever you want.  It worked for me when I wrote for Penthouse.”

CIA Chief limbers up

CIA Chief limbers up

Not everyone thinks money, technology and vaginal awareness alone equals power.  “In the end you still have to make things work to be a successful executive or elected official.  Power, money, smooth talk and access to women’s vagina’s will only get you so far,” said Leon Panetta, former Chief of Staff to vagina-lover Bill Clinton, now power-lover Barack Obama’s Director of the CIA.  “Clinton only got off the hook for lying to a grand jury and having sex with interns in the Oval Office because the economy was in good shape.  People didn’t care who he banged or lied to as long as they could pay their bills and stash some money in their 401k’s.  Barack has to be careful with how fast he crushes his enemies like Rush Limbaugh while counting on Senate-leader Harry Reid to pull crafty legislation out of his ass, and House-leader Nancy Pelosi to pull budgetary dollars out of her vagina.  And even with me running the CIA I can only give Barack intel on his enemy’s, I can’t arrange mysterious deaths for all his enemies, some people could catch on and cause trouble.  This isn’t Putin’s Russia or the Clinton White House you know… not yet anyway.”

Obama 2.0 + Google = Orwell's 1984?

Obama 2.0 + Google = Orwell's 1984?

The Los Angeles Times reported that another inauguration took place in Washington this past week — Google Inc. officially became a political power player. In October, Google was only hours from being sued by the Justice Department as a Web-search monopolist. Today, less than three years after it made its first Washington hire, the Internet giant is poised to capitalize on its backing of President Obama and pursue its agenda in the nation’s capital. Google’s executives and employees overwhelmingly supported Obama’s candidacy, contributing more money than all but three companies or universities. Google Chief Executive Eric Schmidt campaigned for Obama and was one of four Googlers on his transition team. He is now likely to get his calls to the White House returned.

“Google is not just a benign corporate entity. It has a variety of special interests,” said Jeff Chester, the executive director of the Center for Digital Democracy, who has sparred with Google over data-privacy issues. “They’re in a great position to push their agenda through with the support of the president and the Democrats in Congress.” Competitors worry about Google’s close relationship with the Obama administration, said Bill Whalen, a research fellow at Stanford University’s Hoover Institution. White House officials did not respond to requests for comment.

090128-barack-powerThe New York Post reported that President Obama warned Republicans on Capitol Hill Friday that they need to quit listening to radio host Rush Limbaugh if they want to get along with Democrats and the new administration.  “You can’t just listen to Rush Limbaugh and get things done,” he told top GOP leaders, whom he had invited to the White House to discuss his nearly $1 trillion stimulus package. A White House official confirmed the comment. That wasn’t Obama’s only jab at Republicans Friday. In an exchange with Rep. Eric Cantor (R-Va.) about the proposal, the president shot back: “I won,” according to aides briefed on the meeting. 

The man who would change America

The man who would change America

The National Review reported that Rush Limbaugh responded to Obama’s comments by saying that Obama is attempting to marginalize him and isolate Republicans. Limbaugh said that Obama’s plan would buy votes for the Democrat Party, in the same way FDR’s New Deal established majority power for 50 years of Democrat rule, and it would also simultaneously seriously damage any hope of future tax cuts. He said Obama’s stimulus is aimed at re-establishing “eternal” power for the Democrat Party rather than stimulating the economy because anyone with a brain knows this is not how you stimulate the economy. Limbaugh said that if Obama can make him serve as a distraction, then there is that much less time spent debating the merits of the trillion dollar debacle.  Limbaugh reminded listeners that Obama was a student of Saul Alinsky while he was community organizing in Chicago. He said Rule 13 of Alinksy’s Rules for Radicals is: “Pick the target, freeze it, personalize it, and polarize it.”

West Virginia’s The Inter-Mountain paper reported that four defendants allegedly involved in the armed robbery of Mountain Valley Bank in Mill Creek in December will have their cases bound over to a grand jury. During his testimony, Randolph County Deputy J.A. Burns said he was dispatched to a hold-up alarm at Mountain Valley Bank in Mill Creek at 10:32 a.m. on Dec. 30. Burns said he arrived at the scene and began obtaining verbal statements from witnesses. Burns told the court that police officers later received a tip from a resident who had been listening to a scanner and heard that two suspects had been seen running into a house on Conrad Street in Mill Creek.

Cash stash snatch cache

Cash stash snatch cache

Burns said officers located several items at the residence including camouflage clothes, sunglasses, a loaded .32 caliber revolver, a tote bag and $21,060 in cash. He said 50 of the recovered bills were serial numbered “bait money” from the bank. He said the money was found stashed in various places around the house. He said Wallace also had $1,690 concealed in her vagina. During cross examination, Burns was asked if he had performed a cavity search of Wallace. He said no, that she had told him where she hid the money. 

The Chicago Way – An Early Adopter

The Chicago Way – An Early Adopter

In other news, WKMG Orlando reported Saturday that a Boston terrier stopped a rape attempt in Pompano Beach, sheriff’s deputies said. The Broward County Sheriff’s Office said a 46-year-old woman allowed a man inside her apartment Wednesday after he said he was a repairman. Once inside, however, the man attacked her. Her female dog then bit the man on the shoulder, and he fled the apartment, according to the sheriff’s office. No word on whether the man was really looking for vaginal cash or attempting to Google for influence, but the fact is the Boston terrier won. 

And winning is what matters. 

That’s why during the disagreement between Obama and Rep. Eric Cantor (R-Va.) over Obama’s trillion dollar proposal, the president shot back his election reminder: “I won.”  That’s the Chicago way.  Get used to it.

(C) 2009 InebriatedPress.com

Source documents:

Google ready to pursue its agenda in Washington
http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-fi-google24-2009jan24,0,5255660.story

PREZ ZINGS GOP FOE IN A $TIMULATING TALK
http://www.nypost.com/seven/01232009/news/politics/prez_zings_gop_foe_in_a_timulating_talk_151572.htm

Robbery suspects’ cases go to grand jury
http://theintermountain.com/page/content.detail/id/514551.html

Xaviera Hollander – From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xaviera_Hollander

Limbaugh Responds to Obama
http://corner.nationalreview.com/post/?q=OTU5MjE3MmQ0NWU1Zjc1YzYyMDE1NzNmZmM2MzYxMmI

Sheriff: Dog Stopped Rape Attempt
http://www.clickorlando.com/news/18555514/detail.html

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