Tag Archives: social engineering

White House Sex Chat Line, Assisted Suicide for the Healthy, and New Legalized Rape Law

> Journalists calling in for Obama conference get sex chat line
> Swiss clinic to help healthy woman kill herself
> Afghan President establishes law sanctioning marital rape

Inebriated Press \ Division of Rant (with Pretzels)
April 6, 2009

Miss Sex Chat & Miss Legal Rape

Miss Sex Chat & Miss Legal Rape

Agence France Presse (AFP) reported last Thursday that journalists in the U.S. calling a toll-free number to join a conference call with President Obama in London, instead had their call answered with the line “Do you feel like getting nasty?” — as a sultry voiced Swank magazine sex-chat woman picked up their call.  And Times Online reported last Friday that the Swiss assisted-suicide clinic Dignitas was criticized after revealing plans to help a healthy woman to die. The clinic’s founder described suicide as a “marvelous opportunity” that should not be restricted to the terminally ill.  Meanwhile, Afghan President Karzai provoked international outrage with a draconian Taleban-era law that explicitly sanctions marital rape.  Pundits are debating whether the White House sex chat line can offset the trillions in new Obamanomic spending enough that they’ll want to remain in the country, or if they should just rape their wives and commit suicide instead.

White House Operator

White House Operator

“I have to hand it to Obama, I’d never have thought of putting a sex chat line in the White House.  He’s one-upping Clinton who used to rent out the Lincoln Bedroom for orgies.  If Obama instructs the travel office to offer a package to the public with sex-chat followed by a hooker-rendezvous in the Lincoln Bedroom, I’ll bet he can rake in a lot of bucks and offset part of the $12 trillion in spending that he’s initiated in the last 60 days,” said Zack Loft-Basement, a chief-of-staff wanna-be and occasional user.  “But if Obama doesn’t get spending under control and give some tax relief to business in order to truly stimulate the economy, we’re going to end up with hyper inflation and draconian taxation.  My wife will get really frigid I’ll be left to rape her and kill myself — all according to acceptable laws of course — but still, it’d be a real bother.”

Someone named Cathy

Someone named Cathy

Not everyone thinks the way Loft-Basement does.  “I have mixed feelings about the White House sex chat line, just like I did the Condi Rice nude calendar to help fund the State Department, and Bill Clinton selling nude pic’s of Hillary to fund her run for president.  It just seems like maybe we’re going too far and should just cut some costs or something,” said Cathy Scot-Ireland-Tissue, a genius in her own mind and a sex tramp in the minds of others.  “And anyone who condones raping women for any reason should be assigned to an assisted-suicide clinic and be removed from the land of the living.  I do have to wonder about the clinic that plans to help healthy people kill themselves though.  Do you suppose they’ve considered maybe recommending some mental health counseling instead?  I don’t like to be on anti-depressant drugs either, but it seems a bit drastic to just off yourself.”

AFP reported that journalists based in the United States got a shock last Thursday when they dialed a toll-free number to join a conference call with senior officials accompanying US President Barack Obama in London. The number turned out to be a sex chat line inviting callers to use their credit card numbers. “Do you have any hidden desires?” a sultry voiced woman asked. “Well, do you feel like getting nasty? Then you came to the right place — brought to you by the girls of Swank magazine,” she said. Reporters finally got through to the two officials in London — National Security Advisor James Jones and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton — when they gave up on the US “800” number and instead dialed an international number. The White House did not offer an explanation when asked how it sent the wrong number in an email listing both numbers — one for journalists in the United States and the other for those overseas.

Purveyor of Death

Purveyor of Death

Times Online reported that the founder of the Swiss assisted suicide clinic Dignitas was criticized yesterday after revealing plans to help a healthy woman to die alongside her terminally ill husband. Ludwig Minelli described suicide as a “marvelous opportunity” that should not be restricted to the terminally ill or people with severe disabilities. Critics said that the plans highlighted the risks of proposals to legalize assisted suicides in Britain for people in the final stages of a terminal illness.

The Zurich University Clinic has found that more than a fifth of people who had died at Dignitas did not have a terminal condition. Mr Minelli admitted that some of the people who had been helped to die at the clinic had been psychiatric patients with schizophrenia and bipolar disorders. A spokesman for Care Not Killing, a campaign opposed to any weakening of the law on euthanasia or assisted suicide, said that Mr Minelli’s comments showed why any legalization of assisted dying would open a “Pandora’s box of nightmare scenarios”.

Sweet rapable girl

Sweet rapable girl

Times Online also reported that President Karzai of Afghanistan provoked international outrage last Thursday with draconian Taleban-era restrictions on women and laws that explicitly sanction marital rape. A leaked copy of the laws obtained by The Times details new strictures for Afghanistan’s Shia minority. Women are banned from leaving the home without permission. A wife has the absolute duty to provide sexual services to her husband, and child marriage is legalized. Opponents of the Afghan President accused him of selling out basic human rights for women in return for the votes of hardline Shia conservatives for the presidential election in August. The legislation is based on the Shia family code first brought before Parliament two years ago, to the horror of women legislators who make up more than a quarter of the assembly. Women MPs said that they had been powerless to challenge the passage of the Bill. “The majority of the men agreed to support the laws without any discussion,” said Azita Raffat, an MP from Badghis province. “The law says it is the right of men to have sex — even by force.”

Pioneer

Pioneer

Some people say that the new law which sanctions forced marriage of young girls and their subsequent rape accurately suits Darwinistic tendencies of nature and that confused moralists and Judeo-Christians have a twisted view of humankind that makes them think that all individuals should have rights and be afforded a modicum of dignity.

Assisted Suicide Toon“The strong survive and the weak perish.  Draconian rape and child marriage law, and Sharia law, these stem from religion and atheistic Darwinism and combine to form a perfect synergy of relativistic power-based control, as natural as the tsunami, the hurricane, and swarms of locusts,” said I.B. Humpin-Daley, a part time cleric and full time vagrant who likes Obama’s style and lack of substance.  “The pansy assed American religious types who say shit like ‘everyone is created equal and are endowed by their creator with inalienable rights like life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness’ are morons.  Their time has passed.  Obama has proven it by his approach to the leaders at the G-20.  He patted the Brit Queen on the ass and handed her an iPod, then went and bowed deeply and kissed the ring of the Saudi King.  He’s got this shit figured out. Muslim power and Sharia law are coming to America in the form of hope and change.  It’s about power baby, power.  And America is surrendering it to everybody else.  Why else would Hillary tell the Mexicans that their drug war was Americas problem, or Obama tell the G-20 that the worlds economic crisis was Americas fault?  He didn’t sit for 20 years with Jeremiah Wright’s anti-American diatribes and learn nothing you know.  Damn straight.  He’s acting on his beliefs.”

USA Sharia Law Pioneer

USA Sharia Law Pioneer

In other news, the New York Post reported on Thursday that President Obama has nominated Harold Koh to be the State Department’s legal advisor.  Koh believes that judges should interpret the U.S. Constitution according to other nations’ legal “norms.” And that Sharia law applies to disputes in US courts. He also says that the United States constitutes an “axis of disobedience” along with North Korea and Saddam-era Iraq. According to the Post Koh, a self-described “activist,” would plainly promote his views aggressively once at State. He’s not likely to feel limited by the letter of the law — in 1994, he told The New Republic: “I’d rather have [former Supreme Court Justice Harry] Blackmun, who uses the wrong reasoning in Roe [v. Wade] to get the right results, and let other people figure out the right reasoning.” No word on how he feels about raping young girls or killing healthy people but in this new era of hope and change, all bets are off.

(C) 2009 InebriatedPress.com

Source articles:

Journalists get shock with ‘sexy’ White House call
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20090402/od_afp/uswhousenatomediasexoffbeat_20090402223328

Dignitas founder plans assisted suicide of healthy woman
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article6021947.ece

President Karzai’s Taleban-style laws for women put troop surge at risk
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/asia/article6025362.ece

OBAMA’S MOST PERILOUS LEGAL PICK
http://www.nypost.com/seven/03302009/postopinion/opedcolumnists/obamas_most_perilous_legal_pick_161961.htm?page=0

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Filed under Division of Rant (with Pretzels), Humor, Op-Ed

Driver calls 911 during arrest; Effort to protect kids from snow; and Experts say remove fat kids from families

> Driver Dials 911 While Fighting Officers
> Children Banned from Snowy Parks
> Take Fat Kids from Parents, say Experts

Inebriated Press
February 4, 2009

090204floridahighwaypatrolWFTV Orlando reported Monday that a driver under arrest for speeding on Interstate Highway 4 called 911 for help while fighting a Florida Highway Patrol officer. And the UK Telegraph reported Monday that Camden Council in North London decided to lock its parks because the snow was slippery and children could fall and hurt themselves.  Meanwhile, Australia’s Herald Sun reported Monday that experts are telling authorities that the state should take posession of children by removing them from families with parents who allow them to become too fat.  Pundits are debating the nature of personal responsibility and the nanny state, while others think it’s high time that government rules all aspects of peoples lives.

Someone named Debbi

Someone named Debbi

“When Barack Obama gets a couple of trillion-dollar stiumulus packages out of the way so ACORN can get more funding, and he can focus directly on the social engineering of individuals, he’ll solve the all world’s problems by telling each of us what to do and how to live.  What a relief that will be,” said Debbi Door-Knob Heathcliff, a biped of unknown origin, who lives off the State the way nature intended.  “Parents don’t know how to raise children and the cops can’t be allowed to arrest people with whom they disagree.  We aren’t responsible for our actions or our children, only the State and bureaucrats are smart enough to define reality and the rules needed in order to exist in it.  I slipped on the ice once and if the State had been there to tell me where to walk I wouldn’t have bruised my ass.  Barack has a lot of stuff to fix.  Good thing he’s a light-bringer god.”

Clearly suicidal

Clearly suicidal

Not everyone agrees with Debbi.  “Life is about survival of the fittest and government intervention represents nothing more than failed attempts to control an accident.  Anybody who tells you otherwise is selling someting,” said Butch Malone-Halfpike, a Taekwando instructor and inventor of the Double Helix Flamethrower, recently banned by the Boy Scouts.  “Let the kids slip on the snow and over-eat, for crying out loud that’s what kids do.  And if you can create a diversion by calling 911 when the cops are trying to arrest you, more power to you.  It’s your version of reality versus theirs.  Who’s to say they’re right?  Screw it, do what you want to as much as you can for as long as you can.  Protect kids from snow?  Holy shit!”

Quick, call 911

Quick, call 911

WFTV Orlando reported that they obtained the 911 call made by a driver as he was being taken down by a trooper along busy I-4 near the Beachline over the weekend.  The Florida Highway Patrol released the tape of the 911 call where the suspect can be heard screaming for help, even though the video shows him resisting arrest the whole time. Investigators told Eyewitness News the man was following too closely behind a trooper on I-4. He eventually went around him and the trooper clocked him going 72 in a 65 and pulled him over, but the driver didn’t want to give up his license, insurance and registration. The driver, Kevin Allen, can be seen swinging his arms in the air when a state trooper tried to arrest him. The trooper struggled to slam him to the ground while another trooper ran up to help and the two then struggled to get him under control.

In the 911 call Allen made minutes before the takedown, he told dispatchers the troopers were attacking him. Allen was eventually cuffed and arrested. He’s facing charges of battery on a law enforcement officer, resisting arrest and reckless driving, because he didn’t think he deserved a speeding ticket. “He told the troopers afterwards, it was a matter of principle, that he felt he did nothing wrong, decided to batter a law enforcement officer to prove his point,” Sgt. Kim Miller said.

Risky behavior

Risky behavior

The Telegraph reported that children have been banned from playing in snow-covered parks after health and safety officers deemed them too dangerous. Camden Council in North London decided to lock all of its gated parks because the snow has made paths slippery. It meant that children enjoying a day off because of school closures could not take advantage of the deepest snow for 20 years in at least four popular parks. A spokesman for the council said that grit put down on the pathways on Sunday had not been enough to cope with the heavy snowfall overnight, so the parks had been closed on safety grounds. A spokeswoman for the Council said: “Our priority is caring for vulnerable residents and making the roads safe.”

Quick, take them from their parents!

Quick, take them from their parents!

The Herald Sun reported that child protection authorities should take fat kids into care, experts say, citing a 110cm 40kg four-year-old girl who watched TV for six hours a day. “Jade”, an imaginary girl comprised of several real cases also had tantrums when she was denied food, a report in the Medical Journal of Australia says. The example has obesity experts calling on child protection authorities to take extremely obese children from parents who allow them to become too fat. And a leading child psychologist in Melbourne has backed the call, saying that parents who allow children to become morbidly obese are guilty of child abuse. Dr Shirley Alexander and colleagues from Westmead Children’s Hospital in NSW said the number of obese children had doubled or tripled in many countries in recent years, and doctors needed to act. Melbourne child psychologist Dr Michael Carr-Gregg said taking children from their parents should only be done in extreme cases.

Some people say that common sense is now so uncommon that the term should no longer be used.

090204snowbabe“Once American’s elected a community organizer with less than one-term in the U.S. Senate and no business or governing experience as the President of the United States, I knew that common sense had finally died,” said Missy Moon-Pie, a sweet brunette with big eyes and a creamy filling.  “Of course experts and the government are going ban snowy parks and take fat kids away from their parents.  That’s just the start of things.  Once the regular folks abandon clear thinking and start dialing 911 when they’re being arrested for reckless driving, all that you’ve got left is the KGB, Nazi’s and dictators trying to  bring things under control. That’s why liberalism always ends up becoming totalitarianism.  It’s as natural as out-of-control astroids being grabbed by a planets gravity and crushed in the atmosphere.  Chaos begets domination and power always corrupts.  Stupidity just aids and abeds the process.”

Damn smoker, that'll teach'em

Damn smoker, that'll teach'em

In other news, the UK Mail Online reported Monday that a Sudanese man has been sentenced to 30 lashes for smoking on a domestic Saudi Arabian Airlines flight. Wearing just a thin shirt, he will be flogged by a policeman wielding a reed. The strokes are meant to inflict painful welts that bleed and bruise. The man was arrested when the aircraft landed in Jeddah and handed over to  police. The man apologised in court – and to prove his penitence presented evidence that he was attending a clinic to help him kick his heavy smoking habit. But the judge was keen to make an example and gave a sentence designed to serve  as a deterrent. Under Saudi’s Sharia or Islamic law, flogging is common for a number morals offences ranging from adultery to being alone in the company of an unrelated  person of the opposite sex.  No word on what kind of beatings parents with fat kids get, or what kind of lashing a child who disobeys the rules and plays in slipery snow ought to receive.

(C) 2009 InebriatedPress.com

Source articles:

Driver Calls 911 While Resisting Officers On I-4
http://www.wftv.com/news/18621731/detail.html?1

Children banned from snow-covered parks by health and safety brigade
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/topics/weather/4434768/Children-banned-from-snow-covered-parks-by-health-and-safety-brigade.html

Take fat kids into care, say experts
http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,24995715-2862,00.html

Man sentenced to 30 lashes after flouting no smoking ban on Saudi Arabian flight
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1134323/Man-sentenced-30-lashes-flouting-smoking-ban-Saudi-Arabian-flight.html

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