Tag Archives: Statism

Japanese Girls like Tough Guys, Florida’s New Underwear Law, and Media’s View of Obama as God

> Women in Japan crazy about Shogun Warlords: “picture-perfect masculinity”
> City in Florida passes new law requiring underwear
> Newsweek Editor on Obama: “He’s sort of God”

Inebriated Press
June 16, 2009

Busted

Busted

The Mainichi Daily News reported Saturday that young women are flocking to landmarks from the Warring States period, and college girls are buying up samurai-themed products. There is a constant shortage of men’s “armor” underwear and 80 percent of the buyers are women.  And Florida’s St. Petersburg Times reported that the Brooksville City Council has passed new rules that require people to wear clothes that “fit properly” and the wearing of underwear.  Enforcement of the new rules is in question.  Meanwhile, The New Republic reported that longtime Newsweek editor Evan Thomas told MSNBC’s Chris Matthew’s that Barack Obama stands above the country, above the world, as a “sort of God”.  Pundits are debating the power of underwear and Obama’s godhood.

Someone named Andrea

Someone named Andrea

“Pardon me if I don’t believe that Obama is God or that underwear in any form is destined to give me power I don’t currently have.  I understand the idea that putting great faith into something or someone can cause change in that it alters our perspectives and influences our behavior, but power and godhood from panties or a community organizer is a bit of a stretch,” said Andrea Aloha-Alabaster, a pastry chef and sensuous Hawaiian without a birth certificate who plans to run for government office some day.  “Political power is given by the people to a leader in the same way states grant authority to the federal government.  At least that’s how it’s supposed to work.  The federal government should not impose its will upon the states, unless the states grant it that right.  And no president should impose their will, or act like a god, unless the citizens establish that power within the presidency — and they have not.  Obama is no god, and my underwear, although silky and comfortable when I wear them, grants me no greater power than I carry already as an American citizen and an intelligent and cogent human being.  I am as I should be, let government and elected leaders be as they should be.  Now enough of the bullshit.”

Power underwear

Power underwear

Not everyone sees it the way Aloha-Alabaster does.  “When I have on my red underwear and garters with black stockings I wield power over men that I don’t have if I just wear my pink panties with the days-of-the-week on them.  There’s no question in my mind that the right underwear gives me power well beyond that of a typical person on a Tuesday.  And Barack Obama is way more than an organizer; he clearly is a god, maybe THEE god, because no typical organizer without government or business experience could have been elected president of the United States.  He must be god — or a demon — I’m pretty sure he’s the god thing,” said Cassy Sassy-Leather, a pole polisher down at the Hot Lace and Cool Leather Lounge.  “And power simply accrues to those who wield it indiscriminately unless they’re restricted.  No one is restricting Barack, so he’s on his way to ruling as god on earth.  And the federal government is absorbing states rights and assuming their power.  It’s no big deal; it’s just the way things work if no one stops it.  See this black bra and these red satin panties?  Watch me walk past those guys over there.  They’d kiss my ass and worship me if I asked them.  I’m like a god with these on in here.  Only Obama can get his ass kissed more than I can, but then he actually is god so you have to expect that.”

On the hunt for picture-perfect masculinity

On the hunt for picture-perfect masculinity

The Mainichi Daily News reported that young women are flocking to significant landmarks from the Warring States period, and college girls are buying up samurai-themed products. Sales of historical books are up, and there have been efforts to revive the publication of paperbacks on warlords. On weekends, Jidai Shobo, a bookstore specializing in historical books in Tokyo’s Chiyoda Ward, is packed with groups of young women. Stationery and mobile phone accessories with family crests of feudal lords line the shelves, with figurines of Sanada Yukimura, the most popular of the warlords, and others also for sale. “I like Kato Kiyomasa,” says customer Izumi Sekine, 34, of a warlord who served the shogun Tokugawa Ieyasu. “There’s an almost picture-perfect masculinity about him.”  More unorthodox products have seen a boost in sales as well. There is a constant shortage in stock of Sido brand underwear or men’s “armor” underwear, which cost a considerable 9,240 a pair. According to Tokyo-based manufacturer Rogin, about 80 percent of buyers are women. Researcher Tetsuaki Higashida from the Dentsu Communication Institute suggests that women are attracted to the masculinity of these warlords, compared to the more passive modern men that they know.

Can't work in this town girl

Can't work in this town girl

The St. Petersburg Times reported that if you want to work for the city of Brooksville, be sure that you use deodorant, that your clothes fit properly and that you cover up your wounds and tattoos. And, for goodness sake, wear underwear. If not, you could violate the city’s new dress code. The Brooksville City Council approved a dress and appearance policy by a count of 4-1 this month, with only Mayor Joe Bernardini casting the dissenting vote. He questioned how the code would be interpreted and enforced. “They said you had to wear undergarments,” Bernardini said, “but who’s going to be the judge of that? Sometimes when it comes to certain people going bra-less, it’s obvious. But who’s staring to see if that person doesn’t have underwear on?” City department heads and managers will be required to interpret and enforce the dress code.

"He's sort of God"

"He's sort of God"

The New Republic reported that Evan Thomas, a longtime editor at Newsweek, told Chris Matthews’s on MSNBC: “I mean, in a way, Obama’s standing above the country, above–above the world, he’s sort of God.” Such words would wreak havoc on any person’s ego, even Barack Obama’s. It also would enrage his enemies. After all, the president has told us that he is a mere student of history, and that he is. But history these days is no longer a discipline inclined to defend the truthfulness of its claims or the reasonableness of its arguments or the plausibility of its conclusions. More and more, history has become a competition between and among narratives, self-consciously disdainful of what we used to think of as fact. In this intellectual competition, the losers almost always win or, at least, they win the “moral argument.” Not in real history, mind you, but in many a Western professor’s classroom. And, sometimes, in an American president’s mind.

The truth is that Barack Obama has a penchant for narratives and yet an inclination to rise above them. Two grand but antithetical stories about the same problem, awaiting him and his Olympian skill for the discovery of “common ground”: That is Obama’s favorite script. He regards himself as a kind of unprecedented referee between histories and philosophies. He likes to think that he can see what others cannot see and that, therefore, they must come to him if they wish to live in peace and with meaning.

Obama: New GodIn addressing American intelligence and security professionals at the National Archives, the president aimed at bridging differences by showing that apparent contradictions are not contradictions at all and that everything will go together, if only for as long as he is speaking. National security that never compromises national values? No problem. National values that guarantee national security? Say it and it will be done. Yes, we have values that elevate and restrict us at once, the ideal of free men and women that procedurally protects also the guilty and the wicked–and never mind that, absent energetic domestic and international defenses, these principles would be outmaneuvered and outclassed on both fronts. And again at Notre Dame, the same above-it-all structure of rhetorical conciliation was applied by Obama to the subject of abortion. “Open hearts. Open minds. Fair-minded words.” Nice enough. But the debate on abortion will not be so tidily retired. All of this is rising above but not really reconciling anything. [Editors note: some people refer to Obama’s rhetorical approach as an exercise in “bullshit”; that’s a technical term]

Sex on the beachIn other news, Live Science reported on Friday that summer time sex is risky. With its warm nights, the summer season often brings out the best and the most adventurous feelings of love and lust. Why confine sex to the bedroom, or even the house, when there are beaches and pools and hot tubs to host our most private moments? A few reasons, as it turns out. Condom companies don’t test their products in such a condition, and therefore can’t vouch for their effectiveness when used in pools, hot tubs or other wet and wild setups. You might want to avoid water sex anyway, as improperly maintained pools, hot tubs and Jacuzzis can be breeding grounds for bacteria. And sand isn’t so good either.  According to researchers, 91 percent of the beaches they studied had detectable levels of enterococci (bacteria that can cause urinary tract infections, endocarditis, diverticulitis and meningitis), and 62 percent of them had traces of E. coli. No word on how masculinity-seeking Japanese women feel about summer sex but I’m sure that Obama’s national healthcare plan will have something to say on the subject.  And it’ll be right on target.  Because god always is.

(C) 2009 InebriatedPress.com

Source articles:

New wave of ‘history girls’ wooed by warlords’ masculinity
http://mdn.mainichi.jp/mdnnews/national/news/20090613p2a00m0na027000c.html

Brooksville’s new dress code requires deodorant, underwear
http://www.tampabay.com/news/politics/local/article1009923.ece

Narrative Dissonance
“I mean, in a way, Obama’s standing above the country, above–above the world, he’s sort of God.”
http://www.tnr.com/politics/story.html?id=cd70b25d-12b5-4f6f-8fd3-4a965be569f3

The Risks of Summer Sex
http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20090612/sc_livescience/therisksofsummersex

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Bailing the Bailout, Killing Girls over Short Skirts, and the Death of a Porn Legend

> Goldman Sachs wants out of Gov’t control, will pay back bailout funds
> Muslim father pays to have daughter killed over short skirt
> Porn Legend Marilyn Chambers Found Dead at 57

Inebriated Press
April 15, 2009

Insatiable Marilyn Chambers

Insatiable Marilyn Chambers

The Wall Street Journal reported yesterday that Goldman Sachs plans to raise investor funds and pay back U.S. bailout money so it can be free to run it’s own business without the federal government telling it what to do.  And MosNews reported Monday that a Muslim in Russia hired a killer to murder his daughter because she was wearing skirts that were too short.  Meanwhile, MediaBistro reported Monday that porn legend Marilyn Chambers was found dead in a mobile home where she was living.  Pundits are debating the risks of government control, Muslim mayhem and trailer park living.

Winged missive

Winged missive

“There are no inherent risks of having the federal government run your business and tell you what to do, because bureaucrats and elected officials know better than you do how to do everything; and all the fuss in the West about Muslim’s killing their kids or beheading people they disagree with is all overblown, it’s a cultural tradition that should be respected, even promoted,” said Emil Von Missive, a short statement of dubious nature existing on a diet that’s light on facts and lighter still on common sense.  “If bureaucrats and Islamofascists had been running Marilyn Chambers life she wouldn’t have been dead at age 57 and found in a trailer park in California where she was living.  She’d have been in public housing and the fifteenth wife of a Muslim extremist where she’d been productively popping out baby Muslim Nazi’s for the good of all humankind, god willing.  In fact one of her own progeny might have one day single handedly destroyed Israel and the West.  The freedom loving bastards.”

Someone named Lucy

Someone named Lucy

Not everyone agrees with Von Missive.  “The idea that a government is more capable than an individual in running a business, or that Islamofascists represent a ‘peaceful’ religion, is as ridiculous as the idea that an aggressive porn lifestyle is healthy in the long run, or that mobile home living is something to aspire to,” said Lucy Li-Deathray, an atomic scientist and part-time stripper at the Healthy Heifer Strip Club and Plutonium Emporium.  “I may only dabble in nuclear energy and toy with hormonally over-charged club patrons, but I know that no form of government is going to run as efficient or effective a business as someone who does the work day-in and day-out.  When you’re on-site you know what your customer wants and how to please them.  When you’re in D.C. you’re in an environment thick with the ‘I am a god and I can do shit because I can do shit’ mindset and it has no bearing on what goes on in the real world.  Tough break for Marilyn.  She screwed with the best of them but went down early.  The porn business will chew you up and spit you out — just like Muslim extremists and the fed’s trying to run your business.  It’s a different kind of screwing, but the results are the same.  They take, you give.  We’ve got to get back to private enterprise and personal responsibility in this country or we’re all going to be living in trailer parks and die young.”

Goldman Sachs & The Feds

Goldman Sachs & The Feds

The Wall Street Journal reported that Goldman Sachs Group Inc., frustrated at federally mandated pay caps, has been plotting for months to get out from under the government’s thumb.  On Monday, Goldman took fresh steps to break free: It announced, as expected, that it plans to raise $5 billion by selling new common shares to investors, and that it would like to use the money to repay government bailout money received last year. The firm also reported stronger-than-expected first-quarter earnings of $1.81 billion.

Goldman SachsAt a meeting President Barack Obama hosted with bank executives at the White House in late March, Lloyd Blankfein, Goldman’s chief executive, argued that banks needed freedom to repay the loans the U.S. forced them to accept in October. Eight large institutions received a total of $165 billion in capital, including $10 billion for Goldman. Pay restrictions were tied to those loans. The banks were told then that everyone had to accept the money so it wouldn’t be obvious who needed it most.

The federal government’s management of the financial crisis is entering a new phase. The trillions of dollars Washington has committed to help stabilize companies and thaw frozen credit markets have enmeshed the government deep in the affairs of investment banks, insurers and auto companies.  If Goldman is permitted to repay its loan, it would be the first big bank to do so. The U.S. has indicated it won’t allow any major banks to do so before the government considers the results of financial “stress tests,” which are expected by April 30. Because of the technicalities of the loans, it could take months before Goldman or any other big bank that repays will escape the government’s clutches.

Kill this??!!

Kill this??!!

MosNews reported that a Muslim resident of Russia’s St. Petersburg has hired killers to rid him of a daughter who disrespected Islamic laws by wearing short skirts. The police detained Gafar Kerimov, 46, after he reported that his daughter went missing, but blurted out that the girl was dead already, Komsomolskaya Pravda newspaper reported Monday. The family, ethnic Azerbaijanis, used to have frequent arguments about how the daughter should dress and behave.

Rashida Kirimova, 21, studied medicine at a St. Petersburg school and waved away her father’s criticism when he said her clothes weren’t modest enough and were unfit for a Muslim girl.  During winter, Rashida wore high-necked sweaters and long trousers, causing no problems in the neighborhood, but when spring came, she put on a skirt that left her knees exposed. The father’s Muslim friends again started reproaching him for being negligent and allowing his daughter to walk around dressed like a fallen woman. They said the insult could only be washed away by blood, and introduced Gafar to a killer, who agreed to help him for around $3000. The killer, Kadyr Suleymanov, seized the girl on April 8th as she was hurrying to classes. He and two accomplices drove her out of the city to a suburban dump, shot her dead and covered her body with garbage.

Behind the Green DoorMediaBistro reported that legendary porn actress Marilyn Chambers, star of such golden age classics as Behind the Green Door and Insatiable, was found dead Sunday in the mobile home where she had been living for the past several months. She was 57. Chambers was found by her 17-year-old daughter, McKenna.  The New York Daily News reported that Chambers made more than 25 porn movies, several of them with late porn star John Holmes, who died of AIDS complications in 1988. An autopsy will be done but no foul play is suspected.  

Legally married in trade

Legally married in trade

In other news, United Press International reported Sunday that a Saudi Arabian judge has refused to overturn a ruling that declared the arranged marriage of an 8-year-old girl to a 47-year-old man legal, a relative says. The judge, Sheikh Habib Habib, ruled for the second time Saturday in Onaiza that the girl’s marriage to a friend of her father’s was legal and binding. He said the child wife could file for divorce once she reached puberty, CNN reported. An attorney, Abdullah Jutaili, said the girl’s father arranged the marriage with his “close friend” to pay off a monetary debt. No word on why trading girls for cash is better than Marilyn Chambers self-selected lifestyle, but with the gradual decline of individual rights in the West and the increase of government power and coercion, perhaps we’ll eventually just get used to believing whatever the people who hold power over our lives tell us to believe.

(C) 2009 InebriatedPress.com

Source articles:

Goldman Pushes Stock Issue in Plan to Escape U.S. Grip
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123966372945715013.html

Muslim father orders daughter killed over short skirt
http://www.mosnews.com/society/2009/04/13/shortskirtt/

Porn Legend Marilyn Chambers Dead at 57
http://www.mediabistro.com/fishbowlLA/show_business/porn_legend_marilyn_chambers_dead_at_57_113890.asp

Prodigious porn star Marilyn Chambers dead at 56
http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2009/04/14/2009-04-14_marilyn_chambers_porn_star_dead_at_56.html

8-year-old girl’s marriage ruled legal
http://www.upi.com/Top_News/2009/04/12/8-year-old-girls-marriage-ruled-legal/UPI-57701239536425/

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