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Two Shot at Anti-Violence Rally; Love, Noise and the Female Condom; and Romance Survives Shot to Chest

> Peace Rally Turns Violent, Two Injured in Shooting
> FDA Approves New Female Condom; this Version ‘Rustles Less’
> Prison Psychologist shoots Lover, Reconciles, No Charges Filed

Inebriated Press
May 20, 2009

Ah the sting of hot lead, how I've missed you

Ah the sting of hot lead, how I've missed you

KOCO News Oklahoma reported Monday that two people were arrested Sunday in Midwest City after a shooting during an anti-violence rally.  And the Washington Post reported Monday that the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has approved a new female condom that is made of thinner polyurethane than earlier models, so it conducts body heat and sensation better — and rustles less. Meanwhile the North Carolina News and Observer reported Monday that a prison psychologist lost her job last month after shooting her lover in the chest with a .38-caliber Smith & Wesson revolver.  However, the couple has reconciled and no charges have been filed.  Some people say all’s fair in love and gun violence.

Someone named Sammi

Someone named Sammi

“There’s no point in getting excited about being blasted in the chest by your lover, or a few folks getting shot up during an anti-violence rally.  Love and violence go together like peace and war, or hope and change; they’re conceptual things that thrive on contrast and a few emotional outbursts that give meaning to life.  Who hasn’t longed for the warmth of true love, or the sting of a .38-caliber bullet piercing their breastplate,” said Sammi Sadist-Outthere, a part-time sex-worker and a pretty container of anti-wisdom in a world turned upside down.  “As far as the female condom goes, it’s a joke like most kinds of birth control.  What woman hasn’t wanted the experience of getting knocked up just to see how her body reacts?  After all you can just hack the kid out before it grows past the legal age limit where it’s a crime. As you can tell I’m kind of mercenary about this stuff but hey, it’s my body and my gun so it’s my right to do with either whatever I feel like.  Until you’ve had flaming STD’s and a serious gunshot wound plus a few other near-death experiences, you’ve never had the rush that makes being alive worthwhile.  People may call me psycho but the truth is I’m today’s new woman.  Hope and change baby, I’m leading the way forward.”

Someone named Nancy

Someone named Nancy

Not everyone lives with the reckless abandon that Sadist-Outthere does.  “Shootings at anti-violence rally’s? Attempted murder with a .38 caliber handgun is a relationship builder? Aborting kids for the experience? Holy shit, I thought we’d lost our minds when we elected an inexperienced community organizer as the U.S. president, but apparently we were only warming to the subject,” said Nancy Drew-Theline, a financial analyst whose work on risk management has affected her social outlook.  “We need an infusion of common sense before this country’s wheels come off altogether and we get sucked down the drain into social chaos.  Obama has us poised for more economic chaos by quadrupling government debt, and spending trillions of dollars to feel stimulated.  The economy has already started coming around on its own with only 6% of the stimulus spent.  A free market economy with low taxes and modest regulation will correct itself, we’ve got to wise up fast. As far as the female condom goes, it’s simply another tool to control the risk of pregnancy.  If it works for you, then use it.  Personally, I use it plus oral contraception and I make guys wear double condoms.  Why risk starting a life you don’t want when you can avoid it by taking precautions.  As far as STD’s go, don’t trade fluids and you don’t invite STD’s.  It’s probably my risk management work, but I pre-screen all my dates by taking them to the Quality of Life Group’s San Francisco STD Testing office on Mission Street.  If they don’t pass their tests, they don’t pass mine.  Maybe I’m an ethical hard ass and health nut, but my ass is healthy and it’s staying that way.”

Stop the violence rallyKOCO Oklahoma reported that two people were arrested Sunday after a shooting at an anti-violence rally in the town of Midwest, according to police. One person was shot in the torso and another was shot multiple times during the event at Regional Park. More than 1,200 people gathered for the event, geared toward encouraging teens to turn away from violence. Alfred Frazier, 17, and Sam ZayZay, 22, were arrested initially, police said. ZayZay has since been released pending further investigation. Frazier is accused of shooting with intent to kill. Investigators are talking to two other people possibly involved in the shooting. The names of the shooting victims have not been released. Police have not indicated whether the shooting is gang-related.

Female condom

Female condom

The Washington Post reported that The Female Health Company in Chicago has received FDA approval for their new female condom.  The new and improved condom, the FC2, an upgrade from the FC which still on the market, is made of thinner polyurethane than the earlier model, so it conducts body heat and sensation better — and rustles less. Company vice president Jack Weissman says that in the U.S., female condom use is important both for family-planning purposes and for protection against HIV/AIDS and other STDs. The company is working with family-planning and HIV/AIDS clinics throughout the country, brokering deals that allow clinics to dispense free female condoms just as they currently give out free male condoms. The company’s first product, the FC (for female condom), was launched in 1994 and landed like a lead balloon among consumers, who complained that it was too pricey, that its feel wasn’t conducive to satisfying sex and that, of all things, it made too much noise. That product’s still on the market, retailing for about $17 for a package of 5. The FC2 should be available by autumn.

Gun shot lovers. Sounds like a Country song

Gun shot lovers. Sounds like a Country song

The News & Observer reported that a prison psychologist lost her job last month after shooting her lover, a convicted felon recently released from the minimum-security facility where she worked. Kristel K. Rider shot Lamount K. Friend once in the chest on April 21 in front of his grandparents’ home near Clayton. He survived, though the .38-caliber bullet from her Smith & Wesson revolver barely missed his heart. And the two apparently have reconciled and no charges have been filed in the case. It is a felony for Correction employees to have sex with people in state custody, a crime punishable by up to 31 months in prison for each count. As Friend’s therapist, Rider appears to have violated several ethical rules through her relationship with the inmate, potentially imperiling her state license. Therapists are forbidden from having romantic relationships with those they treat because their position potentially gives them emotional power over the patient. Keith Acree, the spokesman for the state prison system, confirmed that Rider treated Friend at Neuse. However, he said the prison system could find no evidence that the two had sex while Friend was incarcerated. Friend’s court record contains more than 30 criminal convictions for transgressions such as robbery, illegal firearms possession and cocaine trafficking. Martha Storie, director of the N.C. Psychology Board, said that Rider has an active license. The board does not publicly disclose whether a complaint against a licensee has been made or whether an investigation is pending.

Paris: New Age Princess, or Di trying

Paris: New Age Princess, or Di trying

In other news, UK’s The Sun reported Tuesday that Paris Hilton says her scandalous life-style has prevented her from fulfilling her dream of being like Princess Diana. The heirhead socialite makes the claims in a new documentary on her life, which debuted at the Toronto International Film Festival last September and was shown in Cannes at the weekend. Hilton’s bad behavior includes her infamous sex tape with Rick Solomon, other leaked saucy videos and pictures, a charge for Driving Under the Influence (DUI) and a short spell behind bars. No word on why she hasn’t acted like Princess Di if that’s who she wanted to emulate, but in a world turned upside down, it’s the rush that’s more important than the risk — if you don’t plan on being around very long.  And that’s true whether you’re talking STD’s or the U.S. economy.  Manage your risk, or live fast and die hard.  You make the call.

(C) 2009 InebriatedPress.com 

Source articles:

2 Shot At Anti-Violence Rally In Midwest City
http://www.koco.com/cnn-news/19492478/detail.html

Romance born in prison survives shooting
http://www.newsobserver.com/news/story/1531664.html

Learning to Love the Female Condom
http://voices.washingtonpost.com/checkup/2009/05/learning_to_love_the_female_co.html

San Francisco STD Testing
http://www.sanfranciscostdtesting.com

Paris: Di hopes ruined by sex tape
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/film/article2434734.ece?OTC-RSS&ATTR=Film

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Your Eyeball as Webcam and New STD Dating Model

San Francisco artist looks to replace lost eyeball with webcam
New Dating: Dinner, Movie and an STD Test?

Inebriated Press
November 20, 2008

Webcam eyeball wannabee

Webcam eyeball wannabee

New York Daily News reported Monday that a one-eyed San Francisco artist wants to replace her missing eye with a Web cam and tech experts say it’s possible; and MyFox Kansas City reported Monday, that a new Overland Park lab is betting its business on a rather unusual new dating model. MedExpress is telling couples to stop in and get an STD test before grabbing dinner or going dancing. Pundits debate the marvels of science and sex, as cyber humans are created right before our webcam eyes.

“I think science will continue to save and enrich our lives well into the century, if we’ll just let it,” said Marcy Marybelle-Fairlane, a buxom blonde dentist, with customers backed up around the block.  “It just makes common sense to get STD tested with your date so you know what your dealing with as the evening progresses — it’s a full disclosure kind of thing.  And if you can replace a bad eye with a webcam that can help you see, plus record and playback events on demand, you’ll be all the better for it.  I use the latest technology in my dental practice and it’s made for better and happier patients, and my silicon implants have doubled my breast size and increased my male customer base three-fold.  Is science great or what?!”

Not everyone is comfortable with the notion that science should drive the development of human life.  “I’m okay with an emergency appendectomy and the battle against the common cold, but when people start swapping parts with machines and we have to do pre-date bio-screening I think we’ve gone to far,” said Becky Lee-Wardway, a conservative leaning organic food store manager, and winner of the 2008 alfalfa sprout eating contest.  “I can kind of see health screening before you get married and stuff like that, but I don’t support mechanical eyeballs, silicon breast implants, Viagra, and other non-natural stimulants and body enhancers.  I think marijuana should be legalized because it’s a natural product and if people of any age want to have sex or vote Democrat it should be okay too.  I fully support tactile encounters of sexual and food experimentation but no sex with machines or swapping of human and hydraulic fluids.  We’ll loose control of everything we care about if we let science run our lives.”

The New York Daily News reported that Tanya Vlach, one-eyed San Francisco artist, wants to replace her missing eye with a Web cam – and tech experts say it’s possible. Vlach, who lost her eye in a 2005 car accident, wears a realistic acrylic prosthesis, but she’s issued a challenge to engineers on her blog: build an “eye cam” for her prosthesis that can dilate with changes of light and allow her to blink to control its zoom, focus, and on/off switch. “I’d always given thought to using cameras to restore sight to the blind,” said Dr. William Danz, whose patient, Tanya Vlach, wants the groundbreaking device. “This is a little different, more like James Bond stuff.” The eye cam could allow her to record her entire life or even shoot a reality TV show from her eye’s perspective. Vlach said she will let inspiration strike once she has the device. “There have been all sorts of cyborgs in science fiction for a long time, and I’m sort of a sci-fi geek,” said Vlach, 35. “With the advancement of technology, I thought, ‘Why not?'”

Mobile computing expert Roy Want told the Daily News the technology exists. “It is possible to build a wireless camera with the dimensions of the eyeball,” said Want, a senior principal engineer at Intel. “You can find spy cams or nanny cams designed to fit into inconspicuous places in the home.” Want said the camera, which would be encased in Vlach’s prosthesis to avoid moisture, could link wirelessly to a smart phone. The smart phone could send power to the camera wirelessly and relay the camera’s video feed by cell phone network to another person, a TV studio or a computer. “You’d never need to forget anything again,” Want said. “You’d never lose anything. You could ask it, ‘Where was the last time I saw my keys?'”

MyFox Kansas City reported that a new Overland Park lab is betting its business on a rather unusual new dating model. They say instead of hitting the dance floor, first you need to hit the lab, roll up your sleeve and offer up some blood. MedExpress Labs offers confidential STD testing as well as other health care tests. And, they figure you’d rather know, then not.

“Over 65 million people have a sexually transmitted disease and many do not know it,” stated Elizabeth M. Gallup, MD, JD, MBA and medical director for MedExpress Labs. You can make an appointment confidentially online, or just walk on in. You don’t need a doctor’s order or an appointment and the results are password-protected and sent through a secure web site. All you need to do is give them a blood sample or urine specimen. Results are usually available in 48 hours. MedExpress is telling couples to stop in and get tested before grabbing dinner or going dancing.

Some people say a little paranoia is a good thing.

Unrelated Gratuitous McConaughey Photo

Unrelated Gratuitous McConaughey Photo

“Before I go out with a guy I want a full medical history and analysis, I want a personality profile, an IQ test, his university transcripts and a DNA profile that predicts future disease and likely outcomes,” said Misty Rein-Freely, a anti-bacteria cleanser sales rep, who likes to shower every ten minutes and will only eat irradiated organic soy-based foods.  “Sure it cuts down on my social life and most of the guys who sign up for a date and pass the tests aren’t much to look at.  But I haven’t had a cold in ten years and I enjoy spending time alone.  What’s wrong with that?”

In other news, Associated Press reported last week that experts say paranoia is more common than thought. According to British psychologist Daniel Freeman, nearly one in four Londoners regularly have paranoid thoughts. Freeman is a paranoia expert at the Institute of Psychiatry at King’s College and the author of a book on the subject. Experts say there is a wide spectrum of paranoia, from the dangerous delusions that drive schizophrenics to violence, to the irrational fears many people have daily.

Surveys of several thousands of people in Britain, the United States and elsewhere have found that rates of paranoia are slowly rising, although researchers’ estimates of how many of us have paranoid thoughts varies widely, from 5 percent to 50 percent. Dennis Combs, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Tyler, has been studying paranoia for about a decade. When he first started conducting paranoia studies, mostly in college students, he found that about 5 percent of them had paranoid thoughts. In recent years, that has tripled to about 15 percent, he said. No word on whether the 46% of American voters who wanted McCain elected president over Obama are justifiably paranoid, but we’ll be finding that out in the months ahead.

(C) 2008 InebriatedPress.com

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